All Comments on 'The Subway Challenge Ch. 01'

So wat is the next sequel

The story itself had an appealing, albeit kind of overused, premise. What destroyed it was the poor grammar and lack of flow. Please proofread your work or get somebody else to proofread first, because this jumble of words is not yet ready to be published.

I don't know if its language is some poor but I know I enjoyed reading about this subway trip. Waiting for next chapter. Come on!

The the setting where your story starts is unclear, is it an empty classroom? So he had molested her every day for 2 weeks prior to this event, but it would be nice to hear how it started on day 1 as surely she would have been more resistant then. Maybe you could include this at some point as a flashback in chapter 2?