All Comments on 'The Swim Team'

Loved the story. Especially loved the line about adding steel to dick. Really wonderful imagery, very erotic.

OK I get it you have a thing about breasts.

Very good story, but you really need an editor.

Based on the following paragraph, when will it sink into his brain that this includes his daughter and he realizes what Brenda and Linda have been up to when Linda sleeps over? At the very least I can see you writing a sequel where he plants cameras in Brenda's bedroom.

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"I call dibs on sharing Brenda's bed," Linda hollered. The two often slept in that bed together when it was just the two of them on a sleepover.

I can't say I blame you. What a wonderfully perverted story can you share your video

feed, or post this in illustrated stories

5 stars but we'd love to see confirmation of the daughters antics and maybe even dad gets some....come on, throw the poor guy a bone...

So, yeah this a good place to stop for the moment , but please ,don't let it end there. This really needs a conclusion that you are obviously capable of giving us. I Look forward to the rest with anticipation

Was good until the ending.....which was too abrupt. Seemed unfinished, unless you're planning another chapter.

I have chapters 3-5 in the queue waiting to upload, but I need an editor to give them the twice-over for continuity and flow. The whole story should be done in about 6 or seven chapters. If anyone has experience in story editing and wants to volunteer to read through the work, please contact me.

Thanks for reading!

I need help.

I have just begun the tenth (and hopefully final) chapter of this story. It grew into something I never thought it would when I started, delving deep into Barry's backstory. But as we wait for the moderators to post chapter 6, I have three chapters that need an editor before I submit them. If you have editing experience, please DM me if you want to help make the next four chapters as good as the current 6.

Brilliant came here looking for "porn" ended reading a really good story. I too got into the characters and loved waiting to see what happened next. Waiting for chapter 11

I can already tell I'm gonna love this series LOL. 5/5 Can't wait to see what's next.

The sound in the passage should be one of girls who decided that his double bed would be more comfortable, with more opportunities to get a real release of het sexual tension.

I see Ch 2 is ready, can't wait to read. Hope you get your editor so the rest of the chapters can be published.

Good story, 5* and favorite without question.