The Symmetry of Sin

She looked up at me, her eyes glistening with emotion, her lips parted to show her white teeth, and the tip of her tongue as it moistened her lips.

I stepped back and began unbuttoning her blouse, planting kisses on her shoulders and collarbones as they emerged. Her skin was subtle shades of tawny brown, so soft and warm. She put her arms down so the blouse would slide to the carpet. There is something magical when a woman bares her breasts to a man. It's an intimate gesture revealing naked vulnerability, and trust. I wanted her to make that gesture by herself. I stepped back and said:

"Mitu, will you show me your breasts?"

With a blush, she reached behind to unhook the bra. The cups loosely covered her breasts as she brought her hands around and delicately grasped the tops or the cups with thumb and middle finger. The straps slid off of her shoulder. She lifted the bra up and away from her, somewhat blocking my gaze, and lowered her arms, letting the bra drop.

"Your breasts are lovely. So full with lovely, suckable nipples poking out..."

"My boobs are ugly! They sag and the nipples aren't high. Just look at them, they point down."

"I am looking at them, and they are lovely! Who fills your head with such garbage?" I grazed her breast with my fingers. "Just now, are your breasts sending sensations of pleasure to your brain?"

"Why of course!"

I walked around to her back, my fingertips trailing the tops of her breasts, over her shoulders.

"They're sending sensations of pleasure to my brain too."

I gently reached over her shoulders and touched the tender flesh just above her collar bones, and pulled her to me. I lowered one arm across her breasts, rubbing one and cupping the other, by thumb and forefinger squeezing her nipple. I slid my other hand down her naked side, and under the waistband of her pants, my fingers tracing the crease between her mons and her leg.

"Is your nipple sending wonderful sensations down towards your pussy?"

"They are indeed doing that, but they are too small." As she covered them with her hands, lip quivering a bit.

"They work fine. They fed your children, they are a means for you to feel pleasure, and they are beautiful...they are certainly beautiful to me."

I continued to play with the nipple, and brought my hand out of her pants undid the button and the zipper, and surprised her by taking her wrist and putting her hand on my pants over my stiff cock.

"Just the sight of these tits caused my cock to rise, so you know that they are sexy to me as well. I don't want a woman shaped like a 12 year old boy, nor do I want a teenage girl. You look like an adult woman should, you talk like as adult woman should talk, and you have the will to please me as I have the will to please you."

Her fingers were probing my cock and balls as I slid her pants and Granny underwear off her hips she wiggled a bit to let them slide, and with a cry of lust, turned, stepping out of her pants and wrapped he arms around my neck as she mashed her lips against mine, using pressure to express her rising virgin lust. I can't express the joy I felt when that naked woman pressed herself against me in erotic expectation. We kissed, and stroked each other, until her hand reached for my zipper. I stepped back and took off my shirt.

"Let me!" she said looking intently at my crotch as she unbuckled my pants and let them drop on my feet. With a coy smile, "Well! Will you look at that, it's struggling to be free."

She squatted down and pulled my underpants down. My cock popped out and I think she was purposely positioned so it slapped her in the nose eliciting a giggle.

"Oh look what got out and is attacking me!"

"I shall teach you the charms that will tame this savage beast, you'll climb on him and ride, he'll take you wherever you want to go."

She rubbed it, and kissed it with closed eyes and lips, reminding me I had some teaching to do.

"Do you like the smell of my cock?"

"Of course."

"Sex talk is call and response. 'Do you like the smell of my cock?' is the call, and the response is 'I love the smell of your cock."

"Oh, OK. Your cock smells ...like a cock. What else am I suppose to say?"

I started to laugh "It was a dumb question, wasn't it,"

Which got us both laughing. This was gonna take time. She had had 5 minutes of sexual experience hundreds of times over, so this time I tried to give her some good orgasms without pushing her too much. Lick an American woman on her asshole, and she'll give a delighted yelp or murmur and call you a pervert, all the while loving it. Indian people have a heightened sense of 'unclean' to the point of it being a phobia with some of them, so I figured tame marital sex, with a bout of eating pussy was probably pushing her comfort zone enough for the first time with her. She loved it! I took my time, bringing her to the brink of orgasm sucking her nipples with my hand between her legs.

I placed one of her hands on her tit, and she began to play with it. Wordlessly I watched and copied her movements on the other tit, letting her teach me how to please her. Her eyes were closed and soon she was whimpering and crying out softly. I slid down her body, using my mouth on her twat while my hands took over both breasts. She pulled my head into her as an orgasm flowed through her and she cried out softly.

"Louder, louder, three are no children to hear." Her mouth opened wide with shrieks of pleasure as her thighs squeezed my head and she shook with pleasure.

I knew this was going to be good for both of us.

It was the start of the best year of my life, great, eager sex. The wife and I vacationed in Mexico, hung out with our adult children and in late spring, Karen pulled a scam so she and Mikhail who was now wheel chair bound could spend a weekend at the shore. It was great, because Mitu and I spent that same weekend in New York, living the highlife.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It was almost a year after I took up with Mitu that my daughter called to chat. She sounded upset, and it took a bit of nervous chitchat before she came out with the real reason for the call.

"Mom thinks you are screwing around on her. Are you?"

"Well, she's said nothing to me about this. Are you violating a confidence to ask me?"

She was clearly uncomfortable, "Well, no, at least I don't think so. Are you fucking around?"

"Now do you remember the long walks we use to take as you poured out your teenage heart to me about your boyfriend woes? Oscar I think his name was? What he did, what you said, what should you have said and so forth? Even occasional tears and wailing. Do you remember that from your teen years?"

"Sure. Of course! Mom just didn't understand."

"Do you also remember that I listened intently to what you wanted to tell me, offered the best advice I could give, but never got in the middle between you and the boyfriend?"

"Right. Oh god, I would have died of embarrassment if you had."

"And rightly so, rightly so. I was there to support you as your father, not as a relation's councilor. You need to do the same with your mother. Listen to her, support her, but don't place yourself between us. You aren't...you can't be impartial; you're too involved with us. If we can't talk to each other, your mother and I, then we certainly can't speak frankly through you. If you mother has issues with our marriage, she needs to talk to me. If one of us thinks we need marriage counseling, it's up them to bring the subject up. I hope your mother didn't mean for you to ask me about this because if so, she did you a disservice. Your heart was in the right place, but it's not something I can talk to you about."

"Pop, mom's really, really upset, so talk to her! Will you?"

"Daughter, in life there are lots of things that bother, irritate, or upset us. Some we choose to let lie, and some we choose to confront. Your mother wants to talk about it? We see and talk to each other every day; she can bring it up whenever she wants to. Perhaps you could advise her to do that. So how is my grandson doing?"

I was glad of the warning, as I could prepare a way to reconcile her to what I wanted, and I had set my mind on three goals. Number one was to keep my wife as a life companion. I enjoyed her company; she genuinely looked out for my interests, and took care of me and me her. Of course I wasn't sleeping with her, that aspect of our marriage was over, but the rest was good.

Two Borodin was no threat to me, so she could fuck him, wipe his ass, whatever. He doesn't matter, his value to me is that when she brings up Mitu, I can use him a foil. The number three goal was to reconcile her to accept an open marriage, with me keeping a sweet young thing on the side. I could see a way for it to happen, but it depended on my wife to be the first to attack, and it looked like that was going to happen soon.

I was ready for the shit to hit the fan that night, but Wifey was silent. She apparently stewed on my sex life for another month and then in a moment of idiocy, dropped the bomb after a family dinner with our children and their spouses.

The attack came without warning, "Your father is being unfaithful. He is seeing another woman." Flew from her mouth in an intense, slightly quavering voice, she was sitting ramrod straight at the table with a bitter expression on her face. There was dead shocked silence all around. People were sort of looking back and forth at us. My youngest daughter looked like she wanted to crawl under the table.

"Karen, this is really not the time to discuss this."

There was suppressed rage in her voice, "Nonsense. I want us to talk about it. Now! It's awful!"

"Karen, you don't mean nonsense, you mean no sense! You have no idea of the snakes that lie under this rock. It is far better to let it lie for now. I'm telling you, the future...our future will be better for it. You and I can discuss this later tonight and perhaps reach an accord with one another. Doing it in front of an audience will make it vastly harder."

"Do you deny you are having sex with another woman?"

The four young people were listening with rapt attention to this with heads swinging back and forth following the dialog like at a tennis match.

"Fools rush in here. It is wrong of you to start this fight with our children in the middle, it can only end badly. Are you sure this is what you want?"

"You haven't answered my question!"

"Tell you what, Karen. You ask all your questions, and I will answer all of them but one. Then I get to ask mine and you will answer them, well all but one. No interruptions, no hysterics?"

She nodded assent.

"The answer to your question is no. Does that work for you?"

"You're lying! I know you're having sex with her."

I said nothing.

"Well!"

"I'm waiting for you to ask a question."

"You lied when you said you weren't screwing some woman."

"That's not a question either. What's wrong with you? Listen to what you are saying. You asked me if I denied having sex with another woman, and I said no. I am not denying that I am having sex with another woman. I answered your question truthfully."

"What's the whore's name?"

"Well, one can never be sure, but to my knowledge, I don't know any whores."

"That woman! What's her name?"

"That's the one question I will not answer. Rest assured she doesn't live around here. We, you and I, have no friends in common with her as far as I know. Also she is certainly not a whore. Her relationship to me is what in the old days would be called a kept woman. She's my mistress. Basically I pay her rent plus a little, and once a week or so, we have lunch, or dinner, usually followed by...a very happy ending. Oh, she is quite unsuitable for a wife, so you need not worry."

"You must stop seeing her immediately!"

A long pause.

"Well Chris?"

"Well what? You didn't ask a question. I'm answering questions, as we agreed."

She stood up and leaned over her plate glaring at me, "You infuriating Bastard! Let me tell you something. I won't put up with it! I'm going to divorce your cheating ass!"

I said nothing. My daughter piped in:

"Dad, what you are doing is horrible. I simply can't believe you'd do something like this. Why are you doing this to Mom? You're disgusting, and for my part, I'm leaving."

"Hold your horse's daughter. Hear the other side first. Wife, apparently you've run out of questions? Then it's my turn to ask you questions? And remember you insisted on this."

She nodded.

"Have you been completely faithful to me in our marriage?"

"Of course. What do you think I am?"

"Well, for starters a liar. Who are Mikhail Borodin and what is he to you?"

She went pale.

"He's an old friend."

"How often have you fucked him?"

"How dare you talk to me that way!"

"You didn't answer the question."

She was shaking like a leaf.

"Oh god! How long have you known?"

"My god, Mom. What is dad saying?"

My son spoke for the first time, and waving my open hand downward I used my father voice,

"You guys keep out of this! Karen, you had your chance to ask questions. It's my turn now. Again, back to my question, how many times have you fucked Borodin?"

"Well not that many."

"Give me a number!"

Karen started crying.

"Well you probably didn't keep count. Let me ask an easier question: When was the last time you fucked him?"

There was a long pause as Karen wept and snuffled.

"A few years ago."

"About two years ago. When did the love affair start, when was the first time you two fucked?"

Her face contorted in pain. "Please don't ask me that. Oh god! Oh god."

I had intended to ask her who was the father of my children, but took pity on her. It was better to end it, I had made my point, and the supper was mostly over anyway.

"I think that's enough for our children to hear. They now know that neither of us has been completely faithful. Remember, 'let you without sin cast the first stone'? How about dinner next Sunday night? Your mom and I need to talk now, so it would be best if you left us to it, and be mindful that for all of our failings, your mother and I love one another, and we certainly love you."

The kids left, fled might be the better word, with obvious relief hugs and kisses while imploring us not to do anything stupid. As the door closed I said,

"So for most of our marriage you've had a lover. So who's the father of my children?"

"How dare you! Of course they're your children. How could you think that of me?"

"Jesus, you've been fucking that guy for years, and have the gall to ask how could I think that of you? He's your second husband for fucks sake, your fun on the side. You assure me they're my children! I find out you love him, you've been fucking him all during our marriage, so why wouldn't you want a child with him! Which one was it?"

She was speaking through tears.

"I they are yours, I know for a fact!"

"So you used condoms with him? Condoms that never fail?"

Her silence was her confession, she fucked him bareback.

"Answer me! You risked giving me a bastard to raise and an STD'S as well, didn't you! What, if anything, were you thinking?"

Her tears were flowing:

"We didn't use condoms, but I didn't see him when we were trying for children. But he was clean, I knew that. And we saw each other rarely."

"Didn't fuck him when we were trying for children. Good! Fucking wonderful! How thoughtful. Never hurts to show such respect for your husband while you're fucking somebody else. I'm sure lots of thought and planning went into, merrily loving him and fucking him only when it was safe. A fucking erotic nightmare shadowing my marriage. So what now? Is it over?"

"Oh god, this is so hard! Yes the sex is over...long over." She realized I was waiting:

"But I still see him for an hour or two every few weeks. He's just an old friend and he's dying...dying alone, he has nobody."

"He's an old friend and lover, you mean. So what do you see in the future? You going to drop him?"

"Please don't ask that of me! Please! He really needs me now, he's only got a few months left, and we haven't had sex in years. It's not sexual. It never was sexual..."

"How do you fuck somebody and not have it sexual? I'd love to know."

"Well, we did come together in intercourse, but it wasn't the licentious sex you imagine."

"Sadly, you being you, I believe it. It was always about love, billing and cooing, love making or maybe fucking, I wouldn't know, I wasn't there. You've shared your love between two men. How do you think that makes me feel? I'd have liked to have had some real sex from someone who was...was more enthusiastic and talented...less inhibited than you. But you wouldn't change, and like an idiot, I settled for mediocrity. So why are you here? Why didn't you run off with him? Why the fuck did you cling to me all this time? "

"I loved you far more! Mikhail was just a friend. We used the love word, you must have found the letters, but it was somehow not really that. I was fond of him...Also it was a case of absence makes the heart grow fonder. The reason we rarely spent more than a day together was that by the end of the day he thoroughly annoyed me. It was odd. We never talked on the phone other than a few sentences. When we were together it was artsy fartsy talk about classical music and books, that sort of thing. Lately we've been going to the Metropolitan Opera Simulcasts in the theater. They are so beautiful."

"So beautiful, so much fun for you, and you never asked me to take you to the opera, did you? Don't want to risk spoiling it for you and Red Mick."

Her eyes were brimming and she stared out the window, upper lip quivering a bit, just like me, despite knowing and preparing for this, my emotions were brimming over too.

"I wish I could say I really tried to stop it. Like I gave up smoking, but I'm trying to be honest here, I never really tried. I don't know if I couldn't, or perhaps I wouldn't make myself do it. How long have you known? And please have mercy on him, don't forbid me to see him, I'm begging you."

"You're asking me to have mercy on your lover? Sweet Jesus! Well there's no fucking point in closing the barn door when the horse is gone, is there. See him whenever you want. You should suck his cock for him, even if he can't get it up, it feels really nice, and it's a kind and generous thing to do for him. Try to pretend you like it.

"So what the fuck, Karen, you want to go back to where we were? I ignore your lifetime transgression against our marriage, because like you said in one or the e mails, you and he took nothing away from me?"

"Exactly, that's the best outcome. He'll pass shortly, and we can go back to the way things were, just the two of us."

Wonderful, the opening I've been waiting for!

"Do you mean we should go back to the way things were between us 28 years ago when we were both faithful to one another, or go back to the way things were for the last 25 years when only one of us was faithful? Which 'way we were' are you thinking about?"

She stared at me bug eyed as what I said sunk in. She started shake as the crying began.

"You have a good cry, I'm going to take the dog for a defecatory walk down to the tavern and drown my sorrows in a beer. You're going to need to ignore my ongoing transgressions that started much more recently. You told Mikhail that what you did what him was OK, because it took nothing away from me, and so I telling you that what I do with her am OK, because it takes nothing away from you.

I'll be back in an hour or so and you can respond then."

Good, I thought. What can she say? How does she make up 25 years of infidelity and expect me to give up my pleasure on the side? A sense of peace came over me. The rage I felt when I imagined what she and Borodin had done in bed was smothered into cold ashes by what Mitu and I did.