All Comments on 'The Temptation of Lilith Ch. 00'

This is your fantasy and all, but damn. If this is just the prologue chapter, where do you go from here? Challenging to build upward when you start near the top of intensity.

You've given us little by which to know these characters, but I'm unimpressed with master. They like rough, but there is no care shown for her most basic welfare at any point. Broken toys aren't any fun. If he actually left in that way, what an ass. I suspect it is some type of set up. Horrors, she touches herself, is caught and must be punished! A sticky note as aftercare. I'm speechless. In future chapters, it would be nice to have some idea of what the people involved are thinking and feeling. You've given us access to her mind through the pov. Use that. You can give us access to master's thoughts through what he says and what she observes.