All Comments on 'The Test'

there nothing cute about another man fucking your wife.it makes the hubby loook like a piece of crap.these sissyboys are looking for cock too.

Wimpy husband & slut wife stories as this are created with such poor plots & character development that they are a complete waste of space & time. Reformat & try again.

In porn films and stories there seems to me to be a list of things that must be included in the story and this story has most of them!

1)Faithful sexy wife dreams of shagging other people

2)Husband has fantasy of seeing wife with other men

3)Husband has handsome friend who is a serial cheater

4)Wife has 'friend' who urges her to shag handsome friend

5)Husband allows wife and 'friend' time alone

6)'Friend' has huge cock bigger than husbands

7)Wife finally gives in and let's 'friend' grope and finger her

8)Husband catchs 'friend' and wife but as normal does not appear upset

9)Husband let's 'friend' shag the wife and then let's her tell him all about it.

Did I miss anything? letters on a postcard if there is anything else not in this 'erotic story'.

I am starting to think that I'm the only British person on this site that is not in to wife watching or swinging. Wonder if they have wife watching pornsites in outer mongolia I hope not that's were I'm going to live.

stupid,stupid,stupid.

?

The prose has problems with grammar and syntax, so much so that the story is hard to read. An editor can certainly help with that.

<P>

The characters are simplistic and not well-drawn. The husband acts foolishly in daring the womanizing Dave to test his wife's fidelity but demands that he not shag her. Under "brain-dead" in the dictionary, it says "See that." Janine, of course, plays her part in the farce by exhibiting BCS (Big Cock Syndrome). The play out of the cliched plot is predictable, and that's the story's real problem. It breaks no new ground, and simply rehashes the old theme "I just wanna watch my wife hump some strange so I can get my jollies." Except this is contrary to the normal biological imperative for males.

<P>

Dave is the impact character in the tale, and comes off as an unlikeable sod. He apparently has no redeeming qualities, and even his own mother nags him so much that he feels the need to get away from her. That, at least, made me chuckle. Is Dave a realistically portrated character? No, not really.

<P>

Conclusion: inadequate prose, low narrative drive due to a cliched plot, unrealistic characters means bad fiction. I thank you for your effort.

Try to make a story using your imagination rather than replicating a formula you have read many times.

I hope you don't work the way you write, there is enough unemployed people around and they don't need another one

That is a great welcome for a new author to Literotica.

OK, the story line isn't great and the writing could do with a bit more work, but at least the author has tried.

I notice that a few of you cannot even string a few words of complaint together without mistakes. Puts you in a weak position I think.

Instead of getting a buzz from knocking other people, why not show us how good you are and submit some of your own work for the miserable morons to dissect.

No? What a surprise!

I agree that an editor would help. The first few paragraphs are hard to read. I agree that the plot is kind of unbelievable but the sex is hot. I like to read about horny married women getting a big cock. It happens daily all around you. I also would like to see my wife used and abused by a big cock while sucking my cock. Not a bad story at all.

Many of us enjoy these types of stories. Work on polishing your grammar and syntax so that the story flows better. Ignore the mouth-breathers who don't like these types of stories, read them anyway, and then bit#@ about the genre!

That is just too stupid for words, and not worthy of attention.

There are a thousand "stories" on this website where a guy's "mate" comes around and screws the wimp husband's wife. The only thing that varies from one story to another is whether the wimp husband sucks the "mate's" dick or not. You know, if you don't have any imagination, and only a weak knowledge of the rules of grammar and punctuation, then your efforts at the craft of writing are doomed.

another slut wife and wimp husband story.

Another UK newbie into male self humiliation & disrespect. The pub class must have graduated in cuckdoom 101.<P>

Unoriginal, sick selfish what used to be a man pimps his wife whore to his bestest big cocked mate so he could watch someone take his whore where he never will.<P>

I'm sorry but who in their right or wrong mind finds that erotic - it's just the disgusting pain of self disrespect and male humiliation that cranks the sick addiction of a very few who can't respect themselves - well - and you writer.<P>

As you can tell you failed the humanity test on all counts - so seek help soon that your addiction to the absurdity of self demeament is recognized for the degradation to subhuman that it is.<P>

You shame your island's real men.

F+

Yes, yes, the grammar, the points of view, etc. all need work. But the author set up the situation he wanted believably and carried it off well enough. No, it is not an original plot, that is why they have a whole category for it! The whole, "gee I wish my wife were a big slut so I could clean her up" thing is not my cup, and many will bash any story they read with this theme. What puzzles me is that these bashers seem to live to criticize these stories whenever they appear? Why not just skip them? Author, keep trying, make use of spell and grammar check and et an editor. But more importantly, write what you want! There are a great many helpful guides about writing in the How To category on Literotica. Use them.

I'd love it as much as he did. I enjoyed the passion.

a story of a Loving Wife. It sounds like a cheating wife and whimp of a husband. Not a husband, man, but a loser. I hope you wrote this thinking of yourself because you portrayed yourself perfectly.

Crap writing of overdone plot by cum loving UK males

Your story was great. Keep up the good work.

Congratulations on a well written first story.

Have a pint instead of subjecting us to more of this drivel or maybe you had a couple of pints too many when you wrote this?

I have an idea all those comments that do not complain about the story should be kept on public view all the comments that do complain about the story should be deleted that way the writer will never have any bad comments about his story that goes for any body else who writes that way a writer can write exactly what he or she want's and never have to worry about what other people think and therefore he or she will never get better they will think they are doing great because all the comments say so. This also applies to the content of the story if someone has a wish to write about a woman cuckolding him then by all means do so but please let there be a new catorgory for this type of story that way no commentators( or trolls as you call us) can complain about it, but then why do commentators who like the story complain about the other commentators who dont why not just make your comment about the story which is really what all commentators should do.

And in case anyone cares there is a theory that us trolls are multipling and we are a threat to their very exzistance

me personally I could not give a crap. if I dont like a story after I spent time reading it ( or at least skimming it) I should have the right to speak out and by the way I do write stories and so far I have had a few comments I would like to get rid of but I wont simply because this is a free speech site or at least was the last time I checked.

We enjoyed your story. You write well for a beginner. The only problem for us is your language. We being here in the good 'ol USA don't use some of the terminology you do, so it makes it less erotic for us.

Still a good first effort.

George/Anne

Keep this spineless wimp shit to the UK - you are a sorry bunch of cuckolds

This is what happens when you have defects in the gene pool - you wind up with people like this. Whether it is fiction or not, the author must harbour enough of those tendencies to influence his daily life. I have gay friends that are ten times more manly than this, so where exactly does this person slot into the gene pool?

You wrote that he really (actually) didn't want to bring Dave home and that only after a lot of drinking and verbal fencing that he agreed to have Dave home. He bet him his wife would not go along with having sex with him.

Well, you showed her to be a little bit easy and with a friend to help persuade her over the edge. So, he walks in and catches them and you have him, completely out of character, state that he had wanted to see her fucked by another man. She obviously didn't know that or she would have said that this was their fantasy and now it was happening. So, he is not just disappointed by her easily getting sexed by his friend, he is betrayed, his marriage dis-respected and he is looking at a woman that he never knew. The woman he married and loved was gone, no longer existed. In shock, maybe he goes ahead with watching, getting a blow job, fucking her the rest of the night...but - Epilogue or another chapter needs to be written.

Idea: Give him a couple of days fucking the hell out of her (nervous stimulation) in a constant state of erotic erousal which is really masking his denial of her infidelity and then move on with her getting more frequently laid by Dave and then others, going out, etc., etc., and Chris taking videos, tape recordings of phone calls, videos (secretly) of her in their bed while he is at work and then finally packing her bags, boxing her personal belongings, changing the locks, closing the bank accounts and credit cards and placing all her goods at the foot of the driveway for her to find when her date for that night attempts to bring her home. There is a note, "You don't live here, you are not married to anyone here, you are not welcome here and you are never to find yourself here for any reason!" There is a process server sitting on a lawn chair waiting for her with a restraining order preventing her from coming around, calling him at home or work and the Divorce Papers! He sits inside, in the dark, watching, tears in his eyes wondering if all of this was his stupidity in making a bet to test his wife. Dave is with him and (really is a friend) assures him that she would eventually have cheated on him, he knew about her fantasies, her black dildo and her girlfriend who constantly urged her to cheat and have fun.

the size of the garbage bag to take her things, when she is booted out? Let dave give her other things too.

it fucking suck cuckold balls like you do with the faggot husband

They need to do it again, but this time Dave needs to fill her fertile pussy with his spunk while Chris watches.

and it's how you personalise them that makes a story.

good writing and description of a wimp and a slut and a predator. 5*

Not sure how he went from "DO NOT FUCK MY WIFE" no matter what............to..........."I have always wanted to see her fuck another man." Also not sure how SHE went from NO and being offended that Dave cheated all the time on his wife and it disgusted her........to..........." I saw that bulge in his pants, and already wanting it, I had to call my 'friend' to make sure what I was thinking was the right thing to do" and the 'friend' essentially told her to fuck the son of a bitch, so she not only went with what her 'friend' told her to do, she went against her own apparent morals and values and not only fucked him, she gave him both a hand job AND a blow job behind her husband's back before supposedly coming to the realization that even doing just that, she was cheating on her husband, in her own home, while he was very much awake, just in another room, and then of course, she got caught...and the plot twisted to "I wanna see her fuck someone not me"..not a bad story......but it didn't conform with the implied original theme that he was testing her.........a test of this kind implies that he adamantly believes she will NOT cheat on him in any way.........and not only did she, after voicing her displeasure with his suggestion that this man (Dave) spend a couple days in their home.........she did it the first night within hours of being introduced to the man.........she FAILED the test and any man worth a damn would not only have kicked Dave's ass for taking it as far as he did, which was beyond what the "agreement" was between the two men......he would have kicked his cheating wife out of the house "as is" when he caught her with her with Dave at least knuckles (and nose) deep in her pussy.......because after that.....ain't much left before he's balls deep in her with or without permission......and permission was CLEARLY not given by the husband to begin the story.