All Comments on 'The Vacation Ch. 01'

You have laid the groundwork for what could be a great story.....please continue!!

it was a tad boring and no incest happened so either it is in the wrong area or you wrote less than needed. this should have been two or three times longer and there should have been atleast some touching between the siblings. IF you continue remember with incest it is always best to keep it to a minimum of people involved, no outsiders and no parents.

You laid a good foundation. I await the next chapter.

Great beginning looking forward to next installment keep it up

Good description of the main characters as well as foundation. Can't wait for part 2!

i loved ch.1 ready for ch.2 i am really big fan of reading these kind of stories so keep em coming.

Great start. More please

One of the anonymous commentators seems to think only siblings count as incest, since he/she wants no parents. Maybe cousins would be OK? Except some states allow even 1st cousins to marry, so that wouldn't be incest. One of these days there may be no incest tittilation left when anyone can marry. Halloo! Hallay! The whole incest thing as pretty senseless anyway, but, in the meantime, it provides us with a little strange excitement.

Anyway, as a first shot, this was a nice intro, and sets the stage for whatever plans hallucinogen has for the future of this series. Bro/sis both show interest in one another, and mom/dad show almost openly that sex is truly pleasureable, and now everyone is going away somewhere, and the sibs will doubtless have to share a room. Nothing new there, but it always seems to lead to great results - waiting to see!

hope you update soon and that you keep it bro/sis only

So far so good and would be nice if you kept this story going as the 'parts' all seem to be there.!

Don't make us wait to long though.***

Jacko

Another 3-4 pages please.

Depends on the amount of response . Like you don't already know that you have the start to a very good story . Bring the next 20 chapters on . Thanks . Great beginning .

Why is it that most negative comments are from anonymous sources, and those that are negative never seem to have any constructive suggestions, only insults? I have a theory. They're jealous of first time writers, and want the writers to feel as inferior as they feel.

Personally, I think you've done a good job on a first chapter, albeit a little short, and the only action being mom and dad, with sis getting hot and rubbing all over herself while bro gets hard and his dick pops out of his boxers. Yes, it could have been improved upon with a little bro/sis foreplay at least, but you've laid the groundwork with the proposed family vacation. All in all a satisfactory start. I've read a lot worse...in fact, a hell of a lot worse.

You have an great writing style, with no blatant editorial flaws. Although this was only one page, I can foresee an enjoyable read with 3-4 or even more pages. I will definitely be watching to see what you come up with next, in this story and other endeavors.

Good job! Keep it up! Let's see what's in store with Chapter 2!

You've got a good start, I'll be watching for the next chapter!

Man,i was sooo gett in into the story and then it ended damn im definitely reading the next part good job! :D

Awaiting the next chapter!

This has all the makings of a great story. I am looking forward to reading more. One comment about the construction of your writing ... try to drop out unnecessary words. For example: 'His father, Stanley Wilson and mother, Elizabeth Wilson ...' This is difficult to read and makes the storline stumble. If you write 'His parents Stanley and Elizabeth Wilson ... you are avoiding using the word Wilson twice in the same sentence. Just a thought ... keep it up you are developing a great story.