- Novels and Novellas
- The Virus
- Page 12
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Click here"I was there many years ago," said Miko, " It's quite large and only accessible by boat. There is security and enough land for some livestock and crops."
So with a plan and a destination we set out for Angel Island.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 3 years agoI'll break with the general applause in others' reviews, and applaud more quietly. You have a great concept and have put together likable characters. But, your story has one big problem and a number of smaller ones.
Big Problem: You really, really need a good editor. So many grammatical errors that it's sometimes hard to take your story seriously. Several times, I almost stopped reading.
Smaller Probs: 1. You have some continuity issues; 2. Your story became really predictable (one or more desirable women rescued, they throw themselves at our protagonist and he has sex with them all. Tasty meals are cooked and consumed and here and there, our guy shoots intruders or other guys up to no good); 3. Some realism issues (e.g. Monika sees her husband killed and even before the dirt atop his grave has settled, she is having sex with our guy?); and 4. Not enough twists and turns. Yes, Stacy stays behind on the island and Monica elects to stay in Moro (?) Bay. But your story could really use a couple of serious twists. Also, your ending petered out; it feels like you just got tired of writing this storyline.
A good editor would have caught most or all of these issues. Sorry, dude, but only three stars, mostly for the concept, characters and the thought that I know you put into this.
Anonymousabout 3 years agoGreat story! Couldn’t stop reading it.
Would love a movie or sequel!
😍
tazz317about 6 years agostrange as it seems this could be a preview of what could happen if not from a virus but maybe a nuclear disaster, TK U MLJ LV NV
beezlebubabout 6 years agoThis is a GREAT story and could go on forever. Unfortunately our dear author apparently is not with us any more. Or something.
