All Comments on 'The Visitor Ch. 01'

I liked it. Good job for a first story. Looking forward to reading what happens next and learning more about the brother and sister. I could be fun to read how he goes about discovering which of his sisters is in love with him and him her. I hope you write more and hopefully you do not turn this into one big orgy while he figures the one sister who loves him. You have a good romantic and emotional (by their actions) story even though they have only said 3 words to each other. Bring on chapter 2. Thank you

Thanks for the feedback, glad you liked it.

Although I enjoyed the story and the way it was written, it left me with a feeling of annoyance at the end. Instead of looking forward to the train tracks ahead, I should have paid attention to the fact the bridge had been blown up in front of me. Bob

Then I realized; it's almost the same as the first page of 'Well Met By Moonlight', by beachbum1958 from last year, so was that your inspiration?

I was there just waiting as well, very good to the end. Well, start some more stories.

Thanks for the feedback all.

@Pantiespink glad you liked it, more is coming!

@Anonymous, I haven't read that story, i'll have to check it out.

@Prolonged_Debut10, not sure i follow your metaphor, are you saying it's too short?

Good, nay! very good. Short but leaving the reader with the anticipation of more to read.

thanks

Len