The Void Bunny

"As decent as I can be," I mumbled, surprised. What was he doing here?

"I went to get us these," he said, holding up what looked like Treasure Island jackets. Tears sprung to my eyes. He hadn't abandoned me after all.

"I thought—I thought you left."

His expression softened. "I wouldn't do that, Kindra."

"I'm used to it," I said almost stiffly. "People leave all the time."

Ben walked over, pulled the covers back, and slid in beside me before taking my face in his big warm hands.

"I'm not 'people'," he said gently. "I'm not just gonna leave you stranded alone in some cheap hotel."

"Treasure Island isn't 'cheap' exactly. The Stratosphere, on the other hand—"

"It doesn't matter what it is," he said, looking amused. "Just know that I may be a shithead, but even I'm not that bad."

"Why'd you k-kiss me, Ben?" I asked, my voice cracking. "If things are so 'complicated' then why make a move?"

"I'm not gonna be the asshole that says the alcohol made me do it, but I was definitely not thinking straight. I just—I knew I wanted you, and without thinking it through, I kissed you. I'm sorry for confusing you, Kindra. It's really shitty of me."

"Is it complicated just because of the game and your brother? Or is it something else?"

"I'm not in a relationship with anyone else, if that's what you're asking."

"I'm not," I said. "I'm just curious, I guess. I wanna know what's stopping us from... you know."

"My brother... he's special needs," Ben said. "Every girlfriend I've ever had has said they can handle taking us as a package deal, but in the end, they all end up walking away. I'm not sure if I can keep bringing women into Jake's life just to have them walk out on us. He was really close to my last ex. She was my girlfriend for over three years, but she ended things too. She just couldn't commit to a life where Jake would always come first."

My heart ached for him. He was used to being abandoned too.

"And you're just so... you're young, Kindra," Ben continued. "You might think you want me. Hell, you might even be able to convince yourself that you'll want Jake in your life, but trust me, it never works out. It's just too hard. He's a real handful."

"Why do you talk about him like that?" I asked.

"Like what?"

"Like he's some kind of burden."

Ben blinked in surprise. "He's not."

"Then don't blame him. Those women walked out because they were fucking stupid, not because of Jake. He is not the reason things are complicated. Things are complicated because you make them complicated, Ben. Your brother is your world and I respect that, but don't you say that he's the reason we can only be friends. We can be only friends because that's what you want. You're the reason, not Jake."

Ben's eyes seemed to water. "Kindra, I didn't mean it that way."

"That's how it comes across. You should really watch the way you talk about him."

He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "You're right, Kindra. I feel like an asshole. He's everything to me. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was blaming him."

"I know," I said softly. "Just—be self-aware sometimes. If Jake is as important as you say he is, then talk about him respectfully."

"I guess I really needed a reality check, huh?"

I gave him a kind smile. "You're doing your best. Keep it up. You sound like an amazing brother. Jake is lucky to have you."

Ben stared at me for a moment, and in the silence, a million thoughts raced through my head.

Did I offend him?

Did I cross a line?

Did I ruin any chance of a friendship?

"You're—"

"Don't say 'not like other girls' or I'll kill you," I said.

Ben grinned. "I was going to say that you're different from what I'd thought."

"Good different or bad different?"

"Good," he said. "You're not what I was expecting."

"That's not cryptic at all."

He laughed. "You're pretty perceptive for a twenty-one-year-old. You just... you get me, you know? I thought I was coming out here to meet a really cool streamer, but you are so much more than that. It makes me wish I could be more than just your friend, but, you know... I just don't have the time. You deserve better than what I can offer you."

"I understand."

And I did. He didn't want to jump into what would be a difficult relationship, and I had to respect that. Not only would we be mostly long-distance since we were almost an hour's drive from one another, but he barely even had time for a phone call once a night. What kind of relationship was that?

There was a knock on the door. Ben got out of bed to answer it and returned with my freshly laundered clothes. He excused himself to use the bathroom while I put my clothes on.

"Here, put this on," Ben said when he'd come back out. He passed me a jacket, size small. It fit me like a glove.

"Thank you for this," I said, smiling.

He returned my smile with a brilliant smile of his own and held out his hand. "Still down to go to Circus Circus?"

I took his hand. "Hell yes."

—

Ben and I went to Circus Circus and enjoyed all the kooky happenings there. It really was very run-down now, but I still saw it through the eyes of a child. There was no circus so late at night, and the arcade was already closed, but it was fun walking around and telling Ben about all the memories I had there. He listened, his hand clasped firmly in mine.

"And this is where I lost my first-ever purse," I said, pointing to a seat where the circus was usually held. A few people were lingering around, but it was mostly deserted.

"How old were you?"

"Five, I think? I begged my mom for a purse, so she finally bought me one of those tiny little micro-purses. I put my hairbrush and a small glittery chapstick in it. We came to watch the circus, and when we got up to leave, I accidentally forgot it. We were on another floor when I realized it was missing. Came back for it, but it was already gone. My mom was so mad, but my dad was cool with it. He bought me some caramel popcorn to get me to stop crying."

I had tears in my eyes. We'd been so happy.

"Do I need to buy you some popcorn?" Ben asked.

I sniffled and laughed. "Better be caramel."

We made our way out to the casino where we played around with the slots. Ben did end up buying me some caramel popcorn, which we shared as we got drinks—nothing alcoholic this time. Just sugary Cokes from the fountain.

After playing and drinking and eating, I yawned.

"Probably should've taken you back before midnight," Ben said, checking his watch.

"What am I, Cinderella?"

"You've got the tournament in the morning."

"I have a foolproof plan of getting through the day without dying."

"What's that?"

"Energy drinks, my dude. Greatest invention known to man."

Ben put an arm around my waist, leading me out of the casino. My skin burned from his touch, but I knew better than to let myself get worked up over it. We were just friends. Right?

Friends, as we took an Uber back to the hotel.

Friends, as we entered the Bellagio.

Friends, as we hugged in the lobby.

"I'll see you at the tournament," Ben said as we walked to the elevator.

"Tomorrow," I agreed. "Are you gonna join me at the afterparty?"

"Of course," he said with a grin. "It's open bar."

"Excellent," I said grinning.

"We really do need professional help."

"Totally."

—

I woke to the annoying sound of my iPhone's alarm at 6:15 in the morning. My head was pounding, and my feet were a little wobbly getting out of bed, but I wasn't mad about it. I was too excited about the tournament.

Getting ready for the tournament was easy. I took a quick shower, did my makeup, and then got into character. Pastel pink wig, turquoise GAME OVER shirt, skirt, stockings, and five-inch galaxy platform boots. Was I missing something? Oh, yes. The bunny ears. I fitted them over my wig and made my way down to the lobby. Heads turned everywhere as I walked, staring; I looked like a complete and utter freak in those bunny ears, but I didn't really care. Vegas was full of weirdos already.

I took an Uber to the convention center and was immediately greeted by the lead organizer at the door.

"I'm Ali," he said, shaking my hand. "Welcome, Bunny. I'm gonna have you go ahead and follow those signs inside to get you checked in. You'll get your badge there, and then they'll direct you where you can go to get fitted for your mic."

"Thanks," I said, and made my way into the building. There were signs posted with arrows. I followed them inside until I reached a few tables where some organizers were checking in other streamers. I recognized some of the faces. Kit Viper with her signature shocking pink hair, much different from my pastel, was arguing with one of the organizers.

"No, get me a fucking lanyard or something. I'm not putting a pin in this outfit!"

"We don't have lanyards," the organizer tried explaining.

"Then you better go and get one."

"What if we get you into one of the tournament jackets and pin it to that?"

"And ruin my outfit? Thanks, but no thanks," she said stubbornly. I'd normally say fuck her, but she had every right to be demanding. She was one of the biggest names in the streaming world. She'd more than earned her right to get things her way.

I approached the table, and Kit Viper turned around, still scowling. Her face cleared when she saw me.

"Cute bunny ears," she said. "I didn't know there was going to be another girl in the tournament." She turned to the organizer. "Are there any more of us or are you guys really that sexist?"

The organizer's face turned red. "The lineup is pretty short. There's only twenty of you—"

"So that's a no," Kit said, rolling her eyes. She turned back to me and held out her hand. "I'm Kit Viper."

I smiled and shook her hand. "Void Bunny, but you can call me Kindra."

"Cool name," she said. "Why don't you check in and we can go get our mics fitted? We should stick together just to throw the guys off their game." She cackled, making me laugh.

"Sure," I said. One of the organizers took all my information, made a photocopy of my driver's license, and then handed me a pin with 'The Void Bunny' written on it. I waited for Kit, and she ended up changing her mind after five minutes.

"Fuck the lanyard. I don't have all morning." She pinned her badge to her shirt. "Let's go."

We got directed to another room in the back where we spent twenty minutes getting fitted for our mics. Kit chatted with me the entire time, and we ended up following each other on Twitter and Gaminar. I was one of ten people she followed on Gaminar. It was insane that she wanted to be my friend. I'd been watching her streams for years. Now I guess I kind of understood how Ben felt. He was right about it being surreal hanging out with someone whose streams you've watched.

After the mic fittings and checks, we were served breakfast. It was fucking heavenly. Pancakes, waffles, croissants, eggs, bacon, sausage, ham, muffins, bagels—fucking everything. I stuffed my face, and Kit ate a little more daintily. As we finished breakfast, Ali brought our energy drinks. One of those blue low-carb Monsters for Kit, and a sugar-free Rockstar for me.

We met the other streamers while the computers were being tested and set up. Hendrix was there, which made me almost drop my Rockstar. I mean, as far as big names go, he was second only to PewDiePie (who, unfortunately, wasn't there). All the guys seemed to know one another, having met each other at other bigger events, and they even knew Kit. I was the odd one out.

"This is Kindra," Kit said, introducing me to the guys. "She's a badass bunny."

She kept me in the conversations and always made a point to laugh at my jokes. It was honestly so nice of her.

"Did you guys hear about the prizes?" JJ-ice asked. His name was James, but he preferred JJ.

"Prizes?" I asked.

"Yeah," JJ said. "First prize is like fifty grand or something."

"Chump change," Hendrix said. He'd come home with millions from placing first in other tournaments.

"Not to me," Kit said, even though it probably was. She raked in millions from her streaming and partnerships alone.

"Fifty thousand, wow," I said. "No one told me that."

"I think it's supposed to be some kind of a surprise," JJ said.

"Thanks for ruining it," Hendrix said with a laugh.

"Fuck the prize, I wanna know if Wade Deckard is coming today," Madden, another streamer said. "I mean, they invited all their partners, right?"

I kept my mouth shut. It wasn't up to me to tell them if Ben was coming. I wasn't even sure if he'd want to remain anonymous at the tournament.

"Moondusk Hollow is so cute," Kit said dreamily. "I bet the dev is too."

"Aren't you, like, married?" JJ asked, looking at her hand.

"Engaged," Kit said, flashing her engagement ring. I saw a heartbeat of an emotion in her eyes, but I couldn't place it.

"Hey, are you the bunny who got the donation from Deckard?" Kyle, Kooliocoolio, suddenly asked.

My cheeks flamed. "Um, yeah. He dropped $15,000 into my PayPal."

"I got a donation from Deckard too," JJ said. "He came by with all those Twitter fans. Messed up my demographic stats for the night."

I almost rolled my eyes. God forbid someone inconvenience him by giving him money and more viewers.

Ali appeared and clapped his hands to get our attention. "Time to get the demo playthroughs going. Come on, I'll show you to your stations."

As we walked to the raised platform with the stage, I saw a tall man across the room. Chestnut-brown hair, a little wavy, and wearing a Game of Thrones shirt. What was he, some kind of nerd?

He saw me and crossed the room. My heart was beating steadily before, but now it was erratic and crazy and all over the place.

"Hey, Buns," he said, approaching me and leaning in for a hug. The group had stopped.

"Holy shit, you're Deckard!" JJ screeched, pointing to his badge. Wade Deckard. Kit pushed JJ out of the way, huffing. She caught sight of Ben and me as we were pulling away.

"You know Wade Deckard and you didn't say anything?" Kit said accusingly. She was glaring at me.

"Uh, yeah," I said, blushing.

"It's not her fault," Ben said. "I asked her to keep it a secret."

"How do you guys know each other?" Kit asked, looking a little less upset with me.

"We met online," I said.

"Well, duh," Kit said. "But like—you know each other in real life too."

"We just met last night, actually," I said.

"Okay," Kit said, satisfied. "Nice to meet you, Wade. I'm Kit."

He shook her hand, and Ali appeared, walking around the crowd that had gathered.

"Let's get it moving, players," Ali said. "We're on a tight schedule."

I looked at Ben one last time and he waved. Another organizer appeared and whisked him away. My stomach was in twists as I tried to ignore the thoughts of his hand on my pussy, fingers between the folds, stroking me. My knees almost buckled.

I wanted him. I wanted him so fucking badly.

But he wasn't mine to take.

—

The new game was called Tripstart, and it was a team-based multiplayer first-person shooter where each player was assigned into a team of five, with a total of four teams per game. It was a lot like Overwatch, except there weren't pre-made heroes. We were given half an hour to design our characters, and to my absolute delight, there were black lace bunny ears!

"Devs just added them for you last night," Ali said.

Kit Viper cheered when she saw that her kitty-snake costume was available. Hendrix got a t-shirt with a guitar, which made him grin. Each of us players got a special custom item that was only assigned to us, unavailable for other players to download and use. The drinks were brought to us as we geared up our characters for the battles. We each had our own 'batman' which was technically a British term for a military officer's personal servant, but Heylo Games thought it'd be fun to use the term in the gaming industry too because, well, Batman. My batman was a young college freshman named Tim who just looked overjoyed to be allowed to watch.

"Make sure the grape Gatorade, Rockstars, and Modelo are refilled often. Don't let her get to the bottom of a glass," Ali told Tim, who nodded eagerly.

The game announcer, Zap B, was drinking his coffee. He was a seasoned player who had switched careers in recent years to emcee for gaming events. I'd heard that the pay was worthwhile since he was in such high demand. As the game started up, he began commentating. I ignored him for the most part, focusing instead on getting myself familiar with the controls.

I was assigned to the red team, and we were dropped into a world with super cool graphics, all soft edges and harsh colors. I blinked to get used to them.

"Alright, who've we got here?" I heard Hendrix say. I grinned. He was on my team!

"Bunny," I said.

"JJ."

"Pierce."

"AWOL."

"Fuck yeah, red team," Hendrix said. "Let's go kick some ass!"

We made our way down the map, searching for the other teams. I got used to the button for the scope of my sniper rifle, checking to make sure that it wasn't going to be sticky or laggy. It wasn't. The game was functioning perfectly.

"Blue team to the right, mountain pass!" Pierce shouted.

We all turned our characters, sprinting toward the mountain. AWOL was shot down on the way, so we took cover the rest of the way. Enemy fire came our way, so we returned it. I threw a plasma grenade toward Koolio as he was running to get cover. It hit him right on the arm, and a moment later, he exploded, dropping loot.

"Your loot, Bunny," Hendrix said, teabagging the dead player. I laughed and picked up the ammo and items. More grenades had come into my possession, which was great because I'd always been pretty good at sticking my targets.

Red team took down blue, then moved on to green, where we found yellow fighting them too. It was a free-for-all. We annihilated them, every single one.

"And red team takes the cup!" Zap B announced, pumping his fist into the air.

Ali approached the stage, mic on. "Okay, you guys have an idea of how the game is played now. Winning team takes home the big prizes, and points will determine who takes first, second, third, and so forth. We'll announce what the prizes are when we start the tournament." Ali checked his watch. "Press is already here. Your interviews will start now. Why don't we get you all down here? I'll start assigning reporters."

I turned around to ask my batman if he could arrange for a fresh beer, but ran into Ben instead.

"Oh, sorry!" I said, grabbing his arm to steady myself. "My bad."

"Nah, I kinda snuck up on you. My bad."

Kit Viper walked over as we laughed. "What's funny? I want in on the joke." She pouted.

"Nothing, we just kind of ran into each other," Ben said.

Kit knocked her shoulder on Ben's arm. "Oops. Looks like we ran into each other too."

Ben laughed, and I forced one out too. I didn't like the way she was acting around him. I'd thought she was nice, but she was clearly engaged to someone else and flirting with him anyways. Maybe I was just jealous. I mean, flirting is pretty harmless.

Kit laughed obnoxiously at something Ben said and I felt my skin go hot. Yep, definitely jealous.

"Kit, we've got Buzzfeed for you," Ali said, walking over with a reporter in a snazzy purple blazer. I was thankful to watch her go, tuning out her excitedly gushing about the game to the reporter.

"Bunny, come with me. Reporters are waiting," Ali said, gesturing me over. My mouth fell open.

"Me?" I squeaked. "Why would anyone want to interview me? I'm just a noob."

"You're the Curveball," Ali said, looking surprised that I didn't know.