All Comments on 'The Way it Happened'

I thought Paul was pretty dumb for a while. Why are guys so stupid about this when a girl has strong desires for them. Good finish hon, t would be even better if she accidentally got pregnant, and the problem was her other lovers and not her. Good story honey, and thanks.

Pick a point of view and stay with it. That kind of switching is a turn off to many... except trolls like MrPervy

Most POV stories I've read. The writer will keep switching from POV to third person. Even within the same character. It makes the story confusing and difficult to read. You did a POV from two different characters and stuck to it. I like stories where sex is worked into it instead of the sex being the story. The fantasy stories are nice. But I like reading one that is believable. Like this one. Good read.

I agree with most of the others. The ping -ponging between POVs made it hard to read. You'd get into one narrative, then change into another, like an awkward stick shift. I think it's a realistic story given the premise and plot. But these are sex stories, and the sex developed too late for that style. Although I WILL say it came at the right time for this story. I call this kind of story a "faux" sex story. It's a story that has some sex in it,but isn't the focus. I see one commentator likes that. Takes all kinds, but I like works that blend the sex and story together. Having said ALL of this, I will give you points for the double POV. I don't actually think I've seen it done. But I also don't think it works well as a narrative device. It breaks up the rhythm.

I was not troubled at all by the switching POV that seems to bother some readers. It made a nice variation of interest and response as the female made her decision and worked to overcome the male's societal pressures. (His physical response was perfectly that of a normal horny male, right from the beginning.) It's kind of sad that the story has basically been told, and needs no extension, but it will be worth rereading at some future time, and how many of these tales can you say that about? This is a GOOD story about basically good people. More, please.

i stopped after the first page the constant switching of the point of view was very distracting and ruined the flow of the story. delete and rewrite from just one point of view then and only then it might be worth reading. i can't enjoy a story if it gives me a headache and this did big time.

POV was a little hard to follow but overall a good read.

Vexed by the multiple mistakes repeated everywhere: misspellings and just plain wrong words. And is he Pete or Paul?

Still, with a bit of effort, I got past that. Your characterisation and dialogue were quite believable. But the anal sex is always a mistake and a real pain in the butt (ha-ha), quite literally. Also, Paul should not have given in with his lady friend for mere release. Nor did I like Trisha's former Sado-Masochistic experience. Disturbing. It would have been better had her former husband been her only lover. Purity is an absolute must when it comes to incestuous love—that and the realisation that two people, especially siblings, are meant for each other.

And talking of love, Paul and Trisha should have professed that love for each other sooner. He should have given in—perhaps over cognac, not cannabis (yuck!).

I did like the way you made her all starry-eyed for him, and him all can't-control-it-gotta-fuck-my-little-sister for her. That much was well done and believable.

Again, don't be discouraged. Keep trying. I'm available if you want an editor for future stories, or you'd like to rewrite this one.

Any road, good luck to you.

Thanks for your submission. I will disagree with most of the other comments, I thought the sub/dom element added a bit of spice and suspense to see how far Paul would go with it. If anything it left me wanting him to be more assertive, her flirting finally pushing him over the edge until he totally lost control and took her. But perhaps it made his resistance to everything all the more believable. I didn't see it as a negative. The switching POV wasn't confusing for me but I did think there was too much overlap in the versions. I realize you wanted to share both perspectives of what was happening but I found myself just skipping ahead until the story line picked up again. Yes, there were also a few spelling and grammar errors, but not to the point that I couldn't enjoy the story.

Much more important there were several elements that I thought were fantastic, first I enjoyed that they were older and both fairly secure in their sexuality, far too many sibling stories take place between kids barely old enough to fit the literotica guidelines. By making them older and more self aware it made it more real and the tension of breaking the ultimate taboo more intense.

Thirdly, I liked the sense of place. Giving us details about the New Mexico area made it seem more real. Please keep writing, I enjoyed this very, very much.

Sorry, somehow an entire paragraph did not post. Please consider this as posted in the middle of my comment below.

The second thing that I really enjoyed was the hesitancy that Paul felt about breaking the taboo barrier. If anything I would have enjoyed more of a internal battle with the sister in this regards. For me what makes stories such as this so enjoyable is the idea of two people so attracted to each other that they are willing to overcome any obstacle or social barrier in order to give into their lust and be together. Paul's resistance to the idea of being sexual with his sister felt real and intense.

A very good story, excellent build up and a strong finish! You are to be congratulated for doing what so many fail to do, to build a good erotic story.

(HER BROTHER STARTED OUT AS PETE AND BECAME PAUL WITHOUT EXPLANATION BY THE END OF THE FIRST PAGE!!!!)

Lupus (lupus)

for my brother and I (me)

lay on the lounge (lie)

He just didn't possess that part of him (CONFUSING IN ITS WORDING!!!!)

maany (many)

stuff breeze (stiff)

(-was) knelt down

wind burned (windburned)

have her chest a slow once over (gave) (once-over)

small BOTTOMS let some nice round cheeks uncovered at the BOTTOM

rush if pride (of)

go (to) the gym

laying away from me (lying)

best to game care of it (take)

night time (nighttime)

two cashed bowls (cached????) (UNCLEAR MEANING!!!!)

yours is no worse (are)

taking my hair a little (arranging????) (POORLY WORDED!!!!)

we could (-to) (go) to Ruidoso and (-to) (go) hiking

decided to (-to) (go) hiking

back seat (backseat)

I knew i would (I)

anyway to dry (any way)

peek (-of) bare ass (at her)

THIN jersey dress that was very THIN (IT WAS THIN THIN!!!!)

rough housing (rough-housing)

(-which was what) (that)

(-led to any indication) (indicated)

try and be (to)

suction if my mouth (of)

do 't know (don’t)

scent if sex (of)

maximum erasure possible (WTF????) (exposure)

take him (in) my mouth

mans (man’s)

role play (roleplay)

am in live (love)

.

Big turn offs for me... Dom/Sub should be named Disrespect/Self hate. Shaved pussy... I prefer a woman not a little girl. No kids in a love story.

Great story! I used to live in SE New Mexico so the backdrops were a big plus. The story was super hot. I wouldn’t have minded more sexual detail, especially Paul drilling her ass. I am anxious to read more of your work.

the POV switching didn't bother me. Her plan to seduce him and bring him down to her level of sexual deviancy just chapped my ass. She was jealous he was getting laid. She wasn't going to change. She made him change. Whore Bitch!!!

I LIKED THIS ONE VERY MUCH...CINCO ESTRELLAS!

and don't EVER like a story where the female can't have babies.

weak to average, long buildup to a fair description of her getting plowed. get an editor too!