The White Rose Crisis Ch. 06

I sat on my bed, the box of clues I had collected sitting beside me as I held the white rose in my hands, staring at it without really looking. Sarah's words kept echoing around in my head, and no matter what I did I couldn't get her out.

I let it go too long, I realised. Too long without her knowing anything, not the way I did. I had come to terms with my attraction to my sisters and cousin, but too much time had passed before I figured out whose life I had changed, and now Sarah was paying the price. I had to make it up to her. Somehow.

Unfortunately I didn't have as long to think as I needed – Meghan was expecting me to be at her place early in the evening. I needed this night and so did she, so I put the rose back into the box and slid it underneath my bed, sighing and hoping I could figure out what to do next.

I arrived on Meghan's doorstep right on time, buzzing her apartment and waiting for her to come downstairs, still feeling devastated by my conversation with Sarah and how badly it had gone. I was going to put on a brave face, though – for Meghan. It felt selfish, but this night was hers, not mine, and until I knew how to deal with Sarah I would only drive a wedge between Meghan and I if I let my feelings ruin this evening.

When Meghan came downstairs she looked fantastic. She wore a pair of slim blue jeans as usual, with a white button up blouse that she didn't bother tucking in so it stuck out underneath her thin, green knitted jumper. It was a nice night and she had rolled the sleeves up, but she had a warm grey coat that fell to her thighs just in case. She also wore black knee-high boots that suited her very well and made her just a bit taller than me. Her hair was loose and framed her face perfectly, her glasses shining and her hazel eyes behind them even more so.

"You look beautiful," I said genuinely. To me this was Meghan being special, and she hadn't dolled herself up at all really, although I did notice her lips were a little bit redder than usual. She smiled at me, glowing with warmth and looking happier than I'd seen her in a long time.

"You spruce up alright yourself," she said, running her hand up my chest and planting a kiss on my lips. I kissed her back and held the kiss, feeling her hand grip my shirt a little tighter. I was wearing dark jeans, a black button-up shirt and a brown leather jacket, wanting to dress just a little fancy for her. Meghan pulled away and I smiled down at her.

"You got a haircut."

"You noticed," she said happily, sliding her arm through mine and smiling back. "Just a little bit shorter. So, do I know where we're going?"

"Somewhere new. Not far, fortunately, we can walk there." We set off down the street in the early evening light, the sun setting between the tall buildings in town.

"Do you have a movie picked out yet?" Meghan asked. I shook my head.

"I thought we could decide once we got there," I said. "I know there's a few interesting ones on tonight, so we can pick and choose." Meghan nodded along.

"Sounds good. Can't wait." Meghan hugged my arm, smiling even wider. "This was a really nice idea, Will." I rested my hand on top of hers.

"I wanted to do something special, you deserve that." Meghan leaned up and I kissed her lips, savouring the taste of her lipstick.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I think I really needed this." I nodded, feeling exactly the same as she did.

Meghan's apartment complex wasn't far from the foreshore which was packed with lots of restaurants and cafés, but the one I had picked was a little further into the city, and one of the nicest. Situated amongst the tall, well-lit skyscrapers, it glowed golden from its windows, and the only way you could get in was with a reservation that usually needed to be made days ahead. Fortunately I had lucked out with the cheeky help of a friend who worked there, and I owed her a big favour now.

"This place?" Meghan asked, goggling at the restaurant doors as we walked in. "Oh, I feel so underdressed!"

"No you're not, you look stunning."

"I'm wearing jeans!"

"Nice jeans," I said deadpan. "Don't worry, so am I! Really, no one cares." I led Meghan into the restaurant and we were shown to a small table for two, over near the window no less. I could see Meghan was still feeling self-conscious, so I came around and removed her coat for her, hanging it on the back of her chair which I pulled out.

"Thank you," she smiled, sitting down quickly. I planted a kiss on her cheek and gave her back a quick rub.

"I love you," I whispered in her ear. Meghan blushed and I smiled, sitting down opposite her.

"So, how hungry are you?"

"Uhhhh, very. I've been looking forward to this all day!"

"Ha ha, well let's not wait then," I smiled, looking down the menu.

"What?? Oh, Will!" Meghan exclaimed, louder than usual but not enough to disturb the people around us. "This all looks expensive! You know I don't have fine tastes."

"Yeah I know, but that's the point of a fancy restaurant, isn't it? We go a little high-end when we're on a date." Meghan smiled across at me.

"I do appreciate that, Will. This is the nicest date I've ever been on." She reached across the table and took my hand, squeezing it in hers. "I promise I won't think about it, ok?"

"Good, because I'm eyeing off that chocolate cake on the dessert menu, and I don't care how much it costs." Meghan laughed and looked down the list.

"If I have any room left after dinner that sounds perfect!" The waiter came over and we ordered our food, followed by a couple of drinks – just a beer for me since I wasn't planning on having too much, and a nice glass of red wine for Meghan.

"Here's to a good night," I said, drinking.

"The first of many," murmured Meghan, loud enough for me to hear, bringing a smile to my face.

When our meals came everything tasted amazing. My steak was cooked just right and Meghan's chicken was perfect, and the meal sizes were actually pretty big. With all the drinking, talking, laughing and the amount of food we had when it arrived we were at the restaurant for more than two hours, just enjoying each other's company.

I still had Sarah on my mind though; just as it had been bothering me not knowing who the mystery girl was, now it bothered me how much I might have screwed with her – both figuratively and literally.

"Wow. I have to say, that was really, really good," I said, wiping my lips with the napkin after wiping the smallest crumbs from my plate. Meghan nodded but stayed quiet. I could tell something was up.

"Is everything ok?" I asked her.

"Will," she said slowly, arranging her cutlery on her empty plate. "I can tell you're not happy." I sighed and took a sip of water.

"I'm happy now."

"I know now, but I meant, before. These last few days, weeks even."

"Don't worry, it's nothing. I'm enjoying this."

"But I can't not worry, you know that."

"It's nothing, really."

"Is it because of me?"

"What? No!" I could see she was feeling stressed again, but my troubles had nothing to do with her behaviour.

"I just wondered if that's why you can't talk to me about it."

"Meghan, I'm sorry. You're right, I haven't been a hundred percent lately. It's not to do with you, I just, I don't know, really. I'm sorry." I reached across the table and placed my hand on top of hers. "Tonight is our night, and I shouldn't let anything else interfere." Meghan nodded, giving me a small smile.

"I really do love you, Will. I just wish you would let me in," she said a little glumly.

"I know, and I promise I'm going to, but I also know you've been dealing with your own issues lately and I didn't want to add to them. I guess maybe we just need each other." Meghan nodded, taking my hand and holding it tightly.

"I love you too," I went on, "and I think the fact that we went through a rough patch is a sign...that we're meant to have the time of our lives now that both of us are feeling happier." I squeezed her hand, injecting some cheerfulness into my voice. "So do you want to get dessert?" Meghan nodded.

"Sure, but," she looked down, a little red. "I'm kinda feeling like something else too." I smiled, looking forward to a long night of cuddles.

"Something short but sweet, then," I suggested, remembering the chocolate cake option I saw on the menu. Meghan finally smiled back.

"Cake?" she offered, reading my mind. I nodded too enthusiastically, getting a giggle from Meghan.

The chocolate cake was a delicacy I knew I'd be unable to resist, and it was possibly the nicest I had ever tasted. Meghan had a good-sized piece too and I could see she was thinking the same thing. It was rich and smooth and the icing was perfect.

"Oh my God," Meghan murmured between mouthfuls. "This is amazing!"

"I know right?" I replied. "It's gotta be worth more calories than all my meals today."

"I don't care," she said, taking another bite with her fork and tilting her head back, her eyes closed behind her glasses. "Mmmmm, oh wow, I want this cake every night from now on." She lifted the last chunk with her fingers and popped it into her mouth, savouring it as though it was her last ever meal. I did the same and wished I had a bigger stomach, feeling so full and satisfied I could fall asleep right then in the chair. I leaned backwards and smiled across at Meghan.

"Man, I can't remember the last time I ate like that," I told her. She smiled back.

"I know, I feel so full."

"All I want to do now is sit back and relax." Meghan pondered for a moment.

"Do you want to skip the movie?" she said abruptly. I looked across at her.

"You...want to head home?" I smirked a little. "All the warm tasty food making you think about bedtime cuddles?"

"Sort of, yeah." She didn't look too tired, though.

"Are you feeling sleepy?"

"...nope..."

"Let's go."

As we left the restaurant Meghan wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me hard on the lips, my hands sliding around her waist and holding her close to me. Meghan was shameless, gently grinding against me as her tongue slipped into my mouth. When she pulled back I looked in her eyes and I knew why the movie could wait for another day.

"Thank you," she murmured. I went to take Meghan's hand but she cuddled up to my side instead, so I slid my arm across her shoulders as her arm went around my waist, her head resting against my body.

There were storm clouds drifting in on the wind, but it was a warm night and right now the stars were out. The breeze blew Meghan's hair against my cheek and she cuddled a little closer as we slowly made our way home. The air was fresh, we were rugged up in comfortable clothes with hot food in our bellies, and since both of us loved nights like this it was perfect. I had never imagined being with her like this, but now that it was here I couldn't get enough of it; it was as if Meghan was an addictive drug, and I was completely hooked on her.

It started to drizzle slightly about halfway home, then the small amount of drizzle turned into full-on rain as we got to Meghan's street. Within a matter of minutes both of us were soaked, so we ran the last fifty metres to her building, laughing as she fumbled for her key card while the rain poured down on us. We stumbled up to her apartment and once she got her keys in the door I pushed it open and ushered her inside, both of us shivering and still laughing stupidly.

I pressed my back against the door, shaking off the laughter as I looked at Meghan leaning next to me. Her glasses were spotted with raindrops and her hair was wet and plastered to her head, but she looked happier than I had ever seen her. Her chest heaved as she panted, catching her breath from the running and the giggles. She smiled back, looking at me with the kind of love I had wanted to see from her for so long.

We stared at each other for a moment longer, then with a rush Meghan moved towards me, grabbing the front of my jacket and pulling me to her, kissing me full on the lips.

"I've always wanted to kiss you in the rain," I murmured, separating for a pause. Meghan kissed me harder, her mouth opening a little as she gripped me, my arms sliding around her waist.

"Next time you should," she whispered back between kisses. We were so far beyond taking it slow at this point, and I didn't want to wait anymore. With a bit of force I pressed Meghan back against the door, my hands sliding from her back to her hips, tugging her jumper up so my thumbs could rub her soft skin around her waist. Meghan moaned into the kiss and swayed her hips back and forth, her own arms wrapping around my neck as she ran her fingers up through my hair.

"Will," she moaned, kissing down my neck. I slipped my hands into the waistband at the back of her jeans, feeling the edge of her panties against my palm. Meghan tilted her hips forward, grinding against me as she pulled me closer to her. I kissed her again, my tongue slipping into her mouth as she gripped my hair between her fingertips. She pulled away and rested her forehead against mine, breathing hard.

"Come to bed," she whispered. I was too happy to oblige, letting her turn me around and pull me to her bedroom, my lips trailing down her neck to her chest as I pulled the front of her jumper down and undid the top button of her shirt, exposing more of her chest. Meghan lifted her jumper clean over her head and I shrugged my jacket off, watching her undo her jeans and helping her, feeling her fingers tug on my belt at the same time.

"I need to be warmed up," Meghan said, her fingers shaking slightly, wet from the rain.

"What can we do about that?" I murmured, feeling Meghan's hands grab my jeans and pull them down hard as I slid hers over the curve of her bottom, letting them drop to the floor and exposing her smooth pale legs. Meghan stepped out of her jeans, wearing her socks and shirt still, the hem hanging down and covering her panties.

Meghan looked up at me with her slightly misted glasses, her hair still damp, biting her lip as she undid another button, exposing her bra. I pulled my shirt off leaving me in my boxers and she paused.

"Will," she said quietly. "I'm nervous." She looked it too, and it took a lot for a strong person like her to say it out loud. I stepped up to her, rubbing her shoulders.

"It's ok," I whispered. "It's me, remember?" She fiddled with the button and I helped her slowly undo it, opening her shirt a little more as she moved down to the ones over her navel. She wore a fancy black bra with a vivid blue trim and I had a feeling her panties would match gorgeously.

"Wait, Will please," she begged. I stopped, looking at her. Meghan's hazel eyes were staring at me, not with fear but anxiety. She was super nervous. I stopped, pulling her closer to me, my boxers pressing to her shirt hanging over her panties.

"Meghan, we don't have to do anything you don't want to," I said. She bit her lip again, looking miserable.

"I'm sorry Will. I just feel so out of it, all the emotions. Last time we were together I almost gave myself to you, just to keep you in my life. I'm scared about where my head is, if I can fool myself into thinking like that. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be! You're nervous, Meghan, I am too. I just want to be with you, no matter how slowly we take it. Being with you is all that matters to me." I pulled her in for a hug, kissing her lips tenderly and feeling her relax against me. With a deliberate motion I reached down and undid the rest of her buttons, pulling her shirt back off her shoulders and exposing her slender frame.

Meghan slid her hands up my chest and pulled me towards the bed, sitting down backwards and pulling me down on top of her. I rested my hands on either side of her head and gave her a deep kiss, pulling back as she stared up at me.

"We don't have to go any further," I told her, seeing both reassurance and regret in her eyes.

"Really?" came her whispered reply.

"Yeah, but I sure would love to get under the covers, it's kinda cold." Meghan laughed beneath me, grinding a little before shuffling up onto the mattress, pulling the covers aside and making room for me. I climbed up next to her and slid into the sheets, feeling her cling to me for warmth instantly. I held her in my arms and sighed, happy if maybe a little active still. Meghan noticed it, her leg draped up over my waist, her groin rubbing against my thigh.

"Are you...disappointed?" she asked.

"No. Well, umm, I mean no I'm not, Meghan. I'm just, you know, ready," I said. Meghan blushed and looked down in thought, her hand stroking my chest delicately.

"Do you want me to take care of it?" Meghan's head came back up as she stared into my eyes behind her glasses. Lying there, my hand gently caressing her bra, feeling the lines of her body, it was what I secretly hoped she would ask. I smiled, sorely tempted by the hand on my chest and the look of the underwear she had worn today, but shook my head.

"No sweetie, that's not necessary." I cuddled her more, enjoying the warmth that was flowing from her body into mine. "I feel like I've waited all my life just for this feeling. I'm sure I can wait a little longer for more." Meghan nodded, giving me a tight squeeze.

"Thank you, Will," she whispered. "I'm so self-conscious, for whatever reason. Like, I've known you for ever, so you'd think I'd be fine, but it almost feels worse for that reason." She kissed my chest and sighed.

"I know you want it, and I'm tempted too." I looked down at Meghan and stroked her hair gently, my fingers running down over the back of her head, sending shivers down her spine. "Mmmmmm, especially when you do that..."

I lifted Meghan's glasses from her beautiful hazel eyes and ran my fingers through her hair again, starting at the top of her head and running down to the back of her neck. She closed her eyes and tilted her head to one side, almost purring like a cat, her body writhing mildly on top of mine. My cock was stretching my boxers as I felt her slender frame twist and rub against me.

"Sorry, dear," I said cheekily, doing it yet again. Meghan sighed and kissed me hard on the lips, her bra pressed to my chest.

"Well at least you know my buttons," she murmured. "I'll just have to learn yours..." her hand dropped to my stomach and making light circles, just above the waistline of my boxers. I slowed my ministrations to her hair and she thankfully didn't tease me by lowering her hand any further.

"I have a feeling you'll figure it out," I said between kisses.

"Thank you for an amazing dinner." I smiled, giving Meghan a squeeze and resting my cheek on the top of her head.

"My pleasure," I replied. "It was a beautiful night." I held her in my arms, and I was never going to let her go.

–

The sun was already warming the room when I woke up the next morning, later than I usually do. I rolled over in the sheets and tried to pull the blinds a little more closed to keep most of the sunlight out of the room, or at least trying to keep it to a minimum. I turned back to cuddle into Meghan and found myself staring into her hazel eyes, open and wide awake.

I couldn't help but admire Meghan's features, highlighted by the small shard of sunlight streaming in through the window, the sheets draped over her arm and covering her modestly; the light scatter of freckles across her nose, the small stripes of lighter green in her eyes, the little twitch in the corner of her mouth as she gave a small smile with her thin, light pink lips, the way her hair fell over her neck, the gentle glow of her soft skin, the rise and fall of her shoulder as she breathed softly beside me.

"What is it?" she asked.

"You're beautiful." I replied quietly. Meghan smiled at me, gripping the sheets in her hand and rolling over, letting me cuddle her from behind as my arms wrapped around her. I loved the feeling of her lying beside me in her underwear, not fully naked but feeling somehow more vulnerable than I was used to. There was both a sexiness and a sweetness to it. We lay there for a while in silence, just enjoying the peace and quiet.