All Comments on 'The Woman in the Cave'

by javmor79

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  • 160 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

I was going to give this a five * right up until the line where the husband said, "there are conditions" and then let his wife shit on their marriage. It was well written and kept my interest to the end. The husband seemed like a decent guy, one I would choose to be a friend. But...

The very second the wife comes to a husband and blubbers "I have only been with one man in my life and...." is the moment the marriage ended. Actually, the marriage ended the very second the wife THINKS, "I have only been with one man in my life and....".

Marriage is a lifelong commitment. Never marry on a whim without thinking through all conceivable future desires. If there is even the remotest chance you will want to expand your number of sex partners, DON'T GET MARRIED and for god's sake don't poop out children.

TrainerOfBimbosTrainerOfBimbos2 months ago

I liked the story. Hell, I could almost see it written as a play. Funny that. Anyway, I think a lot of people take umbrage at Kat's last shot about her career because frankly, it's a pretty gross sentiment. I've had a very demanding career for well over two decades and I have continually advanced through it because I was driven to do so, but at the end of the day when I had to - I always chose (and still choose) my wife and children. I can always make money and who cares about the respect of people who don't love me? Well, I said my piece, but I also think that she was blustering there at the end. She tends to do that when she gets emotionally uncomfortable, just ask Dr. Beth.

MisterPGMisterPG4 months ago

4.5 stars

Unique plot in LW.

Although it got dragging at some points making me skip several paragraphs, story is riveting that I got invested enough to know how it ended. And I'm glad I did.

It was a good read. Thank you for sharing.

Madeira1076Madeira10764 months ago

Funny, I only want to give positive feedback lol.

That's really all I have anyway, the characters had a real persona instead of a queen bee breaking down and being someone she is not, she made real changes you can understand where the changes came from instead of "poof" I am better now.

Same with the guy! He went from leaching off his wife going nowhere to making something of himself.

The only issue could be that he did go "poof".. Did he work at McDonald's while writing?

Granted, the story was about the wife so I understand.

TwentysevenTwentyseven4 months ago

The only aspect I did not like was the assumption that a person needs to be "motivated" by the possibility of starvation in order to succeed. This is the sorry excuse used by every miserable, selfish prick to ignore all the suffering in the world.

LonesomeBoy60LonesomeBoy604 months ago

The story was a good ideal. But as usual the Literotica authors will let the bigotry slip and be shown. When the doctor was taking a out the events that have caused people to be inspired (Holocaust, Slavery, and The Great Depression). Holocaust was Capitalize, Slavery was minimalized, and The Great Depression was also Capitalized). It was not a slip or a mistake, but intentional. The Caucasian mind is twisted, vile, and evil as fuck.

dirtyoldbimandirtyoldbiman6 months ago

EH! 5 pages of good dialogue to prove that she is still a self-centered, uncaring Bitch.

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

Well written but sad. She really hasn't learned how to improve her chances for a successful relationship moving forward. Now it is back to all career. And if Mr Right shows up, he has to take a back seat. She is sorry for what she did to her ex and wishes she had been the one to motivate him, but her goals are still not conducive to a meaningful, long term, relationship. She is still too self centered. Yes she realizes she was a bitch and her hsuband was unmotivated, but her communication skills in a relationship suck, but her goals are still about her and she will probably remain alone for much of her life.

Calico75Calico758 months ago

Excellent story. Too bad the MC really didn't learn anything about marriage and a partnership. "If he is happy taking a backseat to my goals, we can give it a try." She had that and it didn't work. So, she still wants a man who is what she views (not what I view) as a pussy. She will never have a happy relationship.

AnonymousAnonymous10 months ago

Tend to agree with Syzyguy, I believe many people don’t care for ‘dialogue only’ stories because many writers can’t produce such a story and keep it interesting. Some writers just seem to need some action scenes mixed in with the dialogue to move the story forward. This story didn’t have that problem, so thanks, Javmor.

Five stars.

AnonymousAnonymous11 months ago

Great story.

Russ43ChandlerRuss43Chandler12 months ago

Loved the story and look forward to more. Thanks

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Why do successful career women only realize what total ass wipes they are after they have lost it all ???? (jaybee186)

miket0422miket0422over 1 year ago

Paradox is the word mentioned in a couple of comments. It's an appropriate word for this story.

Kat could both love and respect the man Brandon is now. However, he wouldn't be this version of himself without going through what he did. As Dr Carter pointed out. Living the comfortable life he did with Kat paying for everything he didn't have the necessary desperation and motivation to accomplish what he ultimately did.

Dr Carter also pointed out very simply the paradox of feminism as it stands today. Women have the right to be professionally successful. Intellectually they believe it's ok for the man to make less and be a sensitive partner. Yet, at the most basic, instinctual level they want their partner to be successful and in charge.

It might have taken 5 years but, it was refreshing seeing Kat come to grips with the fact that she was to blame for the failure of their marriage and take the steps necessary to atone for her mistakes.

AnyMooseAnyMooseover 1 year ago

"For some reason, there was something familiar about a woman named Trina working for the District Attorney..." Since she didn't surface later in the story, is there or will there be another story with her as the central character?

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Sad story of paradox and loss. In this case Kats. All she is ever likely to have is her career, her empty house, a lonely bed-yes stil likely lots of men to have sex with but as the years go by tge mirror will tell her about time cruel reality.

Eventually all her social circle will fade, her career will end and everyday will be repeat of yesterday and model for the morrow. She's alone with no friends or family. No one.

That's the real tragedy in this. It's truly heart breaking..

GuyfromShadesGuyfromShadesalmost 2 years ago

Enjoyed the story. Found this a very interesting story. Thanks for your writing.

SyzyguySyzyguyalmost 2 years ago

5* Just to say at the start, I am very happy with a lot of dialogue in a story when it is as well-written as this one is.

The interplay between the characters unfolded steadily and you made, for me at least, Kat both sympathetic and unsympathetic. The tension between her initial brittleness and the growing understanding of herself worked very well. The way Dr Carter teased out her feelings was believable. Kat's words to her therapist combined with the flashbacks made the back story and her motivation very understandable. After all the hurt, on both sides, she eventually reached the stage where she could come to terms with herself, meet Brandon and clear the air. I found it very believable. In the end I was sorry for Kat, for the mess she had made of her life, and pleased for Brandon. The paradox, made clear, is that her actions both destroyed and made him.

Thank you for a great story - one which would work well as a three-hander playlet.

MasterKoteMasterKotealmost 2 years ago

Best revenge is a live lived well, especially after the divorce..

AnotherChapterAnotherChapteralmost 2 years ago

Well done. Good insights, vibrant dialogue, and a plausible outcome. No fairy tale endings or irredeemably ruined lives. Two people unsuited to each other and probably doomed from the outset. Yes, she was a birch, but she owns that.

amygdalaamygdalaabout 2 years ago

Wow what an amazing read.

notredame43notredame43over 2 years ago

Wow what a cunt glad she'd wind up a biological dead end if she was real ..

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I like a good dose of dialogue if it is realistic, interesting, purposeful, and is synchronous with the narrative of the story... in fact, if there is too much narrative and not enough dialogue to back it up, I believe most stories lose their interest and punch... I feel this story captured that balance needed to make a realistic, interesting, thoughtful, and captivating story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

You somehow made a cheating wife realistic and understandable. First time I've seen it on this site!

ErotFanErotFanover 2 years ago

I loved it. But once again, why couldn't this have been a reconciliation. I know, it's just not "you."

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

It appears that Katrina judged Brandon's writing skill by the rejection letters he received. It seems the she didn't bother to read any of his works so she was not able to offer constructive comments. If he knew why his stories weren't being chosen for publication maybe he could have had a winner before another helped him turn to a different style of literature.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

I have known and practiced against too many women lawyers who are very close to Kat, stone cold screechy

bitches. They generally are not very effective. Being a tough hard ass is not the same thing as being a screechy asshole. And sexist or not, a woman who is so evidently a screechy asshole will play very badly in front of judges and juries.

If she ever remarries, she will never have anything other than a pussy for a husband. Consider her last words to Brandon: "If Mr Right comes along, then fine. If he's happy taking a backseat to my goals, we can give it a go." Kat is incapable of having a relationship with any man who isn't taking a backseat to her and her career. A talented self-confident man will simply not do that. She will either have another husband whom she thinks is not her equal or she will have many lonely nights with her Chardonnay and 3 or 4 cats to keep her warm. Great writing, 5*****

PowersworderPowersworderalmost 3 years ago

It was a fascinating story.

I found it hard to sympathise with Brandon, not because he struggled with motivation, but because he married such a hard-nosed bitch in the first place. Having a relationship with a career woman is a terrible idea at the best of times, but a lawyer? And a really narcissistic, ballbreaking whore of a lawyer at that.

What I thought interesting at the end was how Kat hasn't really changed, and is still the same arrogant career-obsessed fool that she was at the start. The big difference is that her value as a potential wife is tanking by the minute. She's getting older, so less likely to be able to get pregnant... not that she had a maternal bone in her body anyway. Kat might be able to date fuckboys, but nobody is going to be stupid enough to wife her up.

Meanwhile Brandon finally becomes successful with his career, and the financial success as well as his surging fame and social status makes him a great catch. I can see him having a few kids with Peyton, while Kat stocks up on pet food.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

While they did not stay married or get back together, The cheating wife is still forgiven so 1 star.

Had Brandon forced the conversation to happen at the theater or taken Peyton with him to meet Kat then, I would have scored higher as didn’t do anything to directly hurt or humiliate her.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Wonderful story. Flawed but wonderful. Love the comments from anonymous saying people who hated it had to be alpha males blah blah blah. Such a broad paint stroke there. Sure that makes anyone who doesn't watch womens sports misogynists and all those who hate tacos racists. TC ireland.

cabbage01132cabbage01132almost 3 years ago

what a bitch!, loved it 5*

etchiboyetchiboyabout 3 years ago
My third read through... I think.

LOVED the story. Has a ton of reality to it. Though I hated the play. It’s one of those hoytty-toytty student written plays we had to sit through in college for a GE “arts” requirement. But, that’s no matter to the story, except I was all into the story then *skreeeeech* to a stop for the play. But that’s just my own problem.

She was right to try and motivate him, as he himself kinda says. As the therapist says she was enabling him. But she wrong how she did it, obviously. But also, she is human so it’s difficult to see both the enabling and the negative motivation if you yourself are doing it. It usually takes an outside observer to see things.

KAT should have been the ones reading his writing and giving honest critique. Maybe neither thought of it. And also as a new attorney just hired by a firm you are lucky if you are not working less than 70 hour weeks. What time would she have to read his writing.

But that’s neither here nor there. Excellent story when I first read it ~3 years ago, and excellent story this time too. Very very human characters, with good and bad within them.

5-stars & Favorire.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

Very good! I'm usually with the BTB crowd but can certainly appreciate a great Loving Wives tale. The wife finally understood with the help of a rare commodity - an understanding psychologist. The ending was handled with tenderness and goodness. Even with the infidelity and disrespect, she deserved a reasonable ending with the man having the decency to allow it. 5 stars definitely. Now, I'm off to find a good BTB tale.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
The light was right in front of her eyes.......

But she couldn't see it...what was so dam good about this story was...you can see what the wife felt all the way through this story....and that made this story stand out from the crowd here...........

skruff101skruff101about 3 years ago

The moral of the story is don’t get hooked up with a fucking lawyer.

How do you tell if a lawyer is lying...their lips are moving (ok so I changed it from politician, it’s still valid).

Good story well written.

brian_scoobybrian_scoobyover 3 years ago
Really good read

Thanks... I have enjoyed another one of your stories. Keep up the good work!

someoneothersomeoneotherover 3 years ago

Another good story by the author. But quality lawyers (which is what is portrayed here) do not curse as depicted in this story, and the situations in law firms is far more complex than as depicted here.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
Either you have been in therapy, have training or amazing instincts

Your portrayal of Dr Carter and her inner thoughts arent terribly far off.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
Easy out..

It seems in almost all your stories, you give your female characters an easy out. You initially show them at there worst. Hell, the first couple of pages you had that shrink describe her as evil bitch. I really didn't see how you brought her the kitty kat in the last page. Hell, it was all about her, she was neurotic at the begining, and was just as self centered at the end. It was about her healing. I am sure Hitler was pleasant to his girlfriend, and maybe a few others, but he is classed as the most evil person in the 21 century. I saw no real change in her thinking, or why she changed, if there was change. Don't seem right to give her a platform to show she is still human. But really can lawyers really be human.

UndrApprctdUndrApprctdabout 4 years ago
Kat Never Stopped Being Ridiculously Shallow

Even the Doc let her buy into Bran's value TOTALLY being connected to his professional success...Doc even let her off the hook by saying Kat "helped" him with her cruelty. To be clear, Kat was in no way qualified to make judgments on Bran's career. In contrast, even though they talked at length about her job, Bran did not berate her as a horrible person if her job was not going well; he was supportive. I think Katrina missed her chance to have a genuine epiphany, and instead was lead to believe she did the right thing by brutally crushing her ex-husband.

26thNC26thNCabout 4 years ago
Very good

Jackie doesn't write a bad story. He always makes you feel something for the characters. I didn't breakout warm up to anyone in This one, as well written as it was.

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Excellent story

I noticed a number of negative comments about this story. These commenters are alpha males who don’t have the ability to understand a story like this one. They comment based on ignorance! This story brought tears to my eyes which an alpha male would have called me a pussy! I was drawn into a Brandon’s character. He still loved kitty kat even after they divorced but he could never go back to her. That part of his life was over and Brandon had moved on. Kat provided Brandon with the motivation to become a great writer. This was one of the best written stories on Literotica.

texxmantexxmanover 4 years ago
Loved it!

They got what they deserved. She got passed over for promotion to a sleeze, lost her job, emotional wreck, remorse, her ex becomes a success with another woman. Her husband gets motivated, finds his soulmate, and success.

All good.

BadHusbandMikeBadHusbandMikealmost 5 years ago
Emotional

I like all kinds of stories here. The ones that I like best are when the author can pull something from me. From warm and fuzzy to tears of pain. I suppose I am glutton for punishment . I have just added the story and the author to my favs.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
"It's kinda a long story. The short version is they passed me over for Senior Partner." He shook his head. "Damn, Kat! I know how hard you were working for that!

Maybe you should have sucked a few more dicks to make sure you had that job locked down

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago

This story was extremely well written, but I didn’t care much for it. That’s no reflection on the author, I just have this “thing” about stone-cold bitches who bulldoze their way through life. I’m not talking about strong women who forge their own path in whatever direction they want to go, I’m describing low-life people (actually men or women) who don’t mind crushing whoever they need to, to advance their own way in life. And yeah, some of my angst is from personal experience. Simply put, “Kitty Kat” is exactly the kind of person for whom I pray failure.

katibkatibabout 5 years ago
Almost Speechless (with admiration)

I like to think I judge a piece of writing not so much by its theme but by author's skill.

With this story Javmor79 has left LW in the depths of its usual trash and entered the rarified air of literature. Loved his skill with dialogue; that's just about the hardest skill to acquire. And as others have noted, there was true character development as the tale progressed. Very believable.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Better than a 5

I read to feel something. Anger, despair, sorrow, love..... I felt them all. This was by far the best story I have read on Literotica. However, the ending was a little too abrupt for my wanting. Some more insight back with the therapist, maybe. Some more self examination by Kat, possibly. Just a little more. I actually wanted to feel better about Kat as well as Brandon. Thank you for your work.

LickideesplitLickideesplitover 5 years ago
Thing I Don’t Understand

I Fived this story the first time I read it! WHY did I not comment? I almost always do for a Fiver. Answer ... I have NO idea why! Alzheimers? Quite possible.

Applying LSD’s scoring scale, this is a seven or so. However, I now like FD45’s scale better. Easier... can’t beat simplicity ... especialy when the two scales correlate +0.93.

Like several others in this thread, I noticed the family resemblence to ‘Separate Vacations.’ A great family to be in (or ‘in which to be’ if you feel sorry for infinitives.)

I found the use of a second PoV (clearly demarcated) to be very acceptable in this tale. Simply, there are two people telling a story ... to make one person tell the other’s story would probably have been massively awkward.

SomeOneTwoThreeSomeOneTwoThreeover 5 years ago
Strong stuff.

I usually don't read stories

that are from the cheater's point of view.

I really don't care about the cheater's feeling,

their motivations or their story.

Would've stopped reading this one,

if the start hadn't been so strong.

And this story certainly was strong.

Well written, powerful plot

and great dialogue.

Though I would've rather read Brandon's story,

it's likely, that it would've damaged

the powerful conversation with Doc Carter.

With that thought in mind,

this story gets top ratings from me.

oldbearswitcholdbearswitchover 5 years ago
Wow, I find it funny that I have read this 3x, and panned and praised it the first and second times, respectively. Now I am not sure, both my comments still read legit to me, except one was written on my phone so it is garbled a bit

It really is a good story, and five star material.

I still think the story glosses over the malice and presumption of the wife. Also for her to so suddenly turn on her husband and toss him aside as the result of her infidelity-trigger meant she never really loved him for him, and/or she was much more callous and capricious than any decent soul could ever be.

I think it is admirable to not judge others for the purpose of feeling superior to them or to feel good by believing we are better than they are. I think it is advisable to take a careful look at people and if they have any major lack of kindness, ethics, or courage, to minimize our association with them,. Live is too short to run with the mean, wrongful, or cowardly.

Damn Dawg, you really do know how to light up a comment section.

When truth is sold bought

in minds vindictive as help

none will nurture

Spouses may now lack

manners of a roomie civil

mod life accepts this

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
Maybe too good for LW

I agree with those who says that this story should getr higher scores. It's really deep, maybe too deep for the LW pattern.

However there are some of us who appreciate the effort to write a story outside the box.

anonymousinblueanonymousinblueabout 6 years ago
A ludeon is an antiquated tranquilizer, right?

If you're one to read comments, I highly suggest you don't bother with the narcolepsy inducing drivel. Holy dumb fuck. It's tedious, boring, lame drama, that could be had someplace nobody cares about, like somewhere on Google Plus.

There was a good one, however, which ended more ballsy that many stories, "But she was killed a few weeks later when a propane truck sideswiped her at an intersection on the way to work." Damn.

Well, someone said she would have cheated anyway. She hardy loved him by that point, so there wasn't much to lose. But maybe I missed some clues or whatever.

I read this before, almost read it again, and this time I did. It was mostly good. I got bored somewhere, but I don't remember where, since I was bored. Things served for a purpose by the end, and everybody had their resolutions in a way that isn't perfect. She had the pain and guilt, and now is a wanderer... He was abused, but took control of a new situation. She saw the person she loved again, both a pain for her and a positive change for him.

I think the abuse nears gratuitous with Peyton, though. There's a scale of truthiness, where on it are varying degrees of truth, and once you pass five, there's no white lies, and around 8 is brutal, and 10 is... something I never hope to see, and it's abusive. The only good thing was how the new girl bothered to give constructive criticism. Also implies other good things. But the author is really telling us he likes abuse.

I guess it's his thing. Maybe abuse is the only way he is motivated. It's unclear whether it's the author's feelings, or a character constructed, and around here, giving the benefit of the doubt often leads to being lynched while burning at the stake and being eviscerated, and having children hang Christmas ornaments on your entrails.

Whether the public acclaim matches what's appropriate for the story, based on views and favorites, this is esteemed to be in the within the quasi-epic to epic tier, with under 1000 views per favorite. Few stories manage that, and some even manage 500 views per favorite, which has got to be within the top 5%.

laptopwriterlaptopwriterabout 6 years ago
For some reason you're not getting the recognition you deserve.

I have to agree with the other commentor, this is probably your best (completed) story on here. I added completed because the series you're currently working on is also outstanding.

You got 5 big ones from me. Excellent work!

HDVictory1HDVictory1about 6 years ago
Maybe your best work here

Been reviewing your stories here and this one pushes all the right buttons. Innovative and emotional feels right. Besides, I am a sucker for a happy ending.

oldbearswitcholdbearswitchover 6 years ago
A five due to excellence in the use of the therapist POV

And your usual fine analysis of the human condition

Would have been a three or four for almost anyone else. I really didn't like the Lovey Dovey Feel good ending, especially since I felt it was achieved by minimizing the EVIL in the ex wife's actions and view of life.

There is a great societal flaw illustrated in this story, well really two.

Some women tend to treat nice men like they are wimps. Doesn't reinforce norms of proper behavior for men. Actually it often undermines us when we try to teach youngins to be nice and respectful towards women.

Also many of US need to watch our thinking or we will also disrespect atypical male roles just BC they don't make big money.

timrivtimrivover 6 years ago

Good story appropriate ending. 5 stars

Richie4110Richie4110over 6 years ago
Thoroughly enjoyable story

Well done! Thank you for your efforts to entertain. Five stars, if not more.

Simpleman9029Simpleman9029over 6 years ago
Honest

Was a good story but there's one thing that feels a bit over the top not just with this story but with a lot stories in this genre.The use of therapist as a plot driver you know like a worldly/godly know all type of a character.And The reason she cheated on her husband was because she had the hots for Terry it wouldn't have mattered whether her husband was successful or not.

notredame43notredame43over 6 years ago
good story

the ex wife is still a c#$t though . her ego in wanting to be seen as an equal with her superficial peers is how she justified her contempt for him .

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago

Excellent story.

somewhatniceguysomewhatniceguyover 6 years ago
bullshit

the last line is total bullshit; living a full life? What the fuck is that? She must thank her fortunes. Karma is a bitch. After many breaking many deserving man, she finally decides to become loyal to the one who, being the new partner, hasn't earned it yet.

SMLlewellyn7SMLlewellyn7over 6 years ago
Intelligent and thoughtful

Thank you for this intelligent, thoughtful, and well written story. Five out of five.

You did something very unusual here. I went from disliking Kat to liking her and that isn't easy. It takes good writing.

It was a sort of self-inflicted BTB story where someone realizes they were in the wrong and repents and atones and I like those stories. They are rare.

I liked the self-deprecating humour of the author making fun of his writing character who writes too much dialogue when this story is almost all dialogue.

There is only one sex scene, but it is smoking hot.

Constructive criticism. I didn't like that the guy Kat cheated with got away with it. But that happens sometimes in real life.

I would have liked Brandon to have had so smoking hot sex with Peyton, but that wasn't structurally possible with the narrator being first person Kat and the doctor.

All in all another good Javemor story.

Steve

Schwanze1Schwanze1over 6 years ago
Deep and spectacularly

realistic.

PencarrowPencarrowalmost 7 years ago
STILL JUST AS GOOD AFTER A SECOND READING

I read this a long time ago and have just stumbled across it again (I always check my favorite authors for their favorites and so I have an almost endless supply of really good stories). It's still just as good as I remember it. Well done.

christmas_apechristmas_apeabout 7 years ago

every time i come to this story i end up reading the whole thing again. thanks again!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago

He didn't forgive her. Just because they talked, there's no way he would ever forgive her, let alone forget what she did to him/them. I wouldn't.

javmor79javmor79about 7 years agoAuthor
@xiamand

First off, I didn't delete your comment. I don't know what was in it, but I don't have any recollection to deleting any comment.

However, I don't see a comment from you in this story. So my guess is either you didn't comment and think you did, or admin deleted it. If they did it, then I think you should probably wonder what you did put in it to cause them to do so. But like I said, I didn't delete it.

DieAlteRomantischeDieAlteRomantischeabout 7 years ago
A doomed relationship

Ambitious, driven product of Stanford Law coupled with unsuccessful writer? Said lawyer slakes her thirst at an equally ambitious, driven colleague's well? The nuanced view of truth held by virtually all successful lawyers? All nicely limned in this morality play. One wonders if the woman in the cave was really there or just a shadow on the wall. *****

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Well Done - Could Have Gone Deeper

I liked this story. It was a fresh take with a viewpoint we generally don't get to see. I particularly appreciated the part where Dr. Carter forces Kat to recognize that her decision to cheat was just that. A choice she made and it was on her, not her husband. Both partners are responsible for the issues in their marriage, but Kat is 100% responsible for her cheating. And that is also where I would have preferred this story go further. It seems that Kat believes she failed in the marriage by not motivating Brandon, leading her to devalue him and thereby causing her to cheat. If only she had done X, Y, or Z, then he would have been so much better and she never would have cheated. Nuh uh. Doesn't work like that. That realization. That something was broken inside her, poor boundaries, ego, what have you, and it was that aspect that led her to cheat. And Brandon had nothing to do with it.

Regardless, well done. A solid read. Thanks for the effort.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Jackie, this was well written, and you are great exposerr of people's thoughts/flaws

Unlike all others I read I scored it much lower, as I felt you gave his ex something of a pass for Despicable behavior towards a loving spouse, and a subsequent tryst. Using the therapist POV as a tool to allow her to feel less wrong about what she did is psychobabble. It's not the end of the world that she did what she did, nor does it make her a horrid person. But to ain't it as a tool or vehicle that helped him to find success is unjustified. There is NEVER a justification or mitigation for mistreatment of a supposed loved one who has not directly wronged us. You have done us all agreat service by bringing up a topic that will only grow in relevance...what career-successful women feel about less successful husband's and how they act on those feelings. Imho, your failure was in not hewing to the truth that disrespect and infidelity are always reprehensible if in provoked. Oldbearswitch

gordo12gordo12over 7 years ago
Another great story

Always happy to read yours. 4*

bruce22bruce22over 7 years ago
A Serious LW story!!

For once I find myself agreeing with Harry! The basic fact that she was a very successful trial lawyer would suggest the hardness in her attitudes were the result many years of competing to be top dog. I find it interesting that she did not figure out how to help the man that she loved, but then she did not appear to like to read. A good editor can bring out the best in a fledging author.

LordSlamdawggLordSlamdawggover 7 years ago
" No cookies for you" says Xiemand!

So the offending ( in terms of meeting your standards ) author who takes editing time and trouble in submitting a FREE story for your perusal gets one-bombed in your rating system , getting no more acknowledgement then the most inept , careless, and puerile hacks ? Allrighty then. Xiemand, there's a story in you . How did you get this way ?

Please write it. I promise to be kinder in my review then you would be..

davwoodavwooover 7 years ago
6 * from me

This story is brilliant, the dialogue with the counsellor was very well constructed and this story had a convincing ending. What I can't understand are the detractors- do they see themselves as better writers. I suppose there are lots of idiots in the US just like dear old Donald!

FD45FD45over 7 years ago
Ximand

Here is a system I use to try to be more fair to authors, who work hard on their work.

Is it grammatical with good spelling? One star

Do the characters make sense and the plot points follow one another ACCORDING TO THE RULES THE AUTHOR LAID OUT? One star

Is there craft in the story or good writing, even if it is about subject matter or people I don't like? One star

Do I like the story? One star

Do I love the story? Another star

extemporeextemporeover 7 years ago
Terrific Story

This was an outstanding story -- very well written and far more original in concept than 95% of the stories on this site. I thought the dialogue with the counselor was excellent. I was less confident in the forgiveness scene a few years later; but then it was a few YEARS later, though I can't imagine redemption is that easy to come by when you treat a spouse like Kat treated her husband.

The anonymous poster who thought the story was very average, and the author too, amused me. While criticizing the story and a good share of the other posters as essentially being brain-dead, I can see why s/he would remain anonymous. Calling this story and its writer average by this joker is like being called "overrated" by Donald Trump. It's an honor.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
You sneaky devil...

This is like the story of what did amy adams do 3 yrs later after she was stood up at the fancy dinner in the movie.............. Nocturnal Animals.

Not that am saying its exactly like the movie, but according to me the story complements the movie well, a sort of closure to the movie, Even though the movie was a kickass BTB movie for me.

honestly i cant say anything bad, i felt you squared of all the characters quite appropriately .

hope to read more & eagerly waiting.

(a name makes no difference)

tazz317tazz317over 7 years ago
WHEN ONE THINKS OF A WOMAN IN THE CAVE

how far behind will the Delphi belong, TK U MLJ LV NV

javmor79javmor79over 7 years agoAuthor
One more thing.

Forgot to add HDK to that list. His critiques are always helpful. Thank you.

javmor79javmor79over 7 years agoAuthor
Thank you all for reading

I would have thanked you earlier, but I was traveling with family.

First off, I have to give the award for most creative comment to 1wrngrght. I have never seen a comment as poetic as that. It deserved recognition.

Secondly, I want to thank the regular commenters who always leave me with food for thought. Many will disagree with my list, but I have found people like Swingerjoe, LSD, Luedon, FD45, and a few others helpful when they comment on stories. When commenting to other commenters, not so much (can't remember if FD45 directs comments toward commenters). I understand why they do it, and we authors appreciate their defense of us. But when they analyze a story, they focus on the development of the characters' believability, which is always my main goal. They don't always like my stories, but even when they don't, their comments help me. They tell me what didn't work for them, and they do it without condescension. So thank you.

I also wanted to tell of my shock and amazement at gettting a compliment from HIV. That is a rare treat for me.

Above all, thank you all for reading and commenting. The constructive criticism is appreciated as much as the praise.

FD45FD45over 7 years ago
A Slice of Life

All the characters worked for me. Every one made sense, and I knew people like that in life.

This was well written with the very rare miscue and mistake.

It s at least a 4.5 from me. Didn't LOVE it, but I did more than like it.

iloveADiloveADover 7 years ago
Always like your stuff

And this was was as anticipated,

Excellent!

5stars

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Moving Story

This was a very well written, moving story about why a marriage failed. The female character's assessment of how she tore down her husband without actually giving him something he could work with to improve is totally believable. I know, I experienced it. Unfortunately, I haven't found a supportive woman to even consider having a new marriage. Where's my Peyton?

1wrngrght1wrngrghtover 7 years ago
Scurrying in the dark

Anonomice are rarely nice, their rage seems without limit.

The ebbs and flows do sweep them so, their brain cells so deficient.

The story spun was so well done, the author should be cited.

And this 1reader votes five stars, I truly was delighted.

rightbankrightbankover 7 years ago
I appreciate this story

It took a few moments for me to find the right word, appreciate. At the beginning javmor79 cautioned us that this missive is dialogue heavy. It is. The irony of that notice was lost on me till Kat and Bran were sharing reflections of their failed marriage. That his novellas were too much dialogue and not enough context is subtle, but it was not his ex-wife who was able to point that out and encourage him to write plays. Nice touch. Another detail I almost missed was the gradual shift during the counselling sessions initially using doc, but gradually working her way to finally using Dr Carter, her professional title, as Katrina gained respect for her therapist

I also chose appreciate because the tone is dark, difficult, and pensive. Nothing funny, light, or even remotely amusing is found. But that is the point. He learned from the marriage, divorce, and emotional turmoil turning it into a successful stage production. She struggled for three years, changed jobs, and eventually sought counselling, but didn't "get it" until seeing herself represented as the Woman in the Cave.

And the true measure of a story like this is whether the reader turns inward and looks at their own life. I did, and wonder which character I was in my former marriage. And if the comments are an accurate reflection so too have many other readers.

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333over 7 years ago

I agree with the originality comments. This was truly one of a kind.

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333over 7 years ago
Loved it

Simply brilliant! Five stars. This is what quality writing looks like.

imhaplessimhaplessover 7 years ago
I'm not sure why this story is rated more highly?

I guess it's because readers of Loving Wives have their own likes and dislikes and for some if the bitch isn't burned it's a 1 no matter how original. As for me, 5* whether or not the bitch was burned. [In actuality there was no reason to burn Kat; she had a fling because she no longer respected her husband, was fair in the divorce proceedings, and that's life.]

LordSlamdawggLordSlamdawggover 7 years ago
@Rc68

Congratulations, it took awhile but you finally said something that caught my notice by mentioning my Literotica user name. Up until now you've been invisible to me. You're hereby upgraded to generic wallpaper with a twat. Kudos.

Let's adress' your question . Why do I feel the need to comment on the comments ? When exactly did the anon commentators become sacred cows , that get to defecate, trample over the hard work and first rate writing sans the slightest of repercussions of talented authors like javmor79 ? I missed that memo ?

Write a polite coherent comment , disagreeing with my rating ? Godspeed , it's a big world . Write an impolite one and if I have nothing better to do at the moment , expect a reply attempting to spotlight the deficiencies inherent in the comment that is trying to slap the story I hold in some esteem. It's all fair game .

You' and your gibbering Anon brethren have in turn slagged me . So be it . It's only Literotica, the proverbial tempest in a teapot . My bottom line is the authors like javmor79 have worked hard and submitted a FREE story( is ) with a definite measure of merit.

They deserve a modicum of respect . I have done nothing to the trolls , but speak to them with the same measure of decorum , they have allowed the author. I see you disagree .Life goes on.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Hey, Joe

You can't possibly be as tired of this site as we're tired of you. Go watch your wife fuck a real man.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
The only "cunt" commenting on here is Swingerjoe

What an asshole. 'Nuff said.

swingerjoeswingerjoeover 7 years ago
An easy five stars

Javmor, it's good to see you writing here again. I had assumed you had grown as tired of this site as I have. As always, you gifted us with a thought-provoking piece that will linger for days. As always, it's well-written and insightful. As always, it's original. As always, your characters are fully-fleshed and realistic. And as always, the usual critics hate it.

I have to ask. The Woman in the Cave. This miserable bitch whose sole purpose in life is to criticize, demean, and belittle the man who is kind enough to provide her with entertainment. The fictional character based on a real-life cunt who works as a lawyer. It's Kimi, isn't it?

Is it possible that Kimi has been a figment of our collective imaginations this whole time?? Like I said, it's thought-provoking.

amyyumamyyumover 7 years ago
Nice, thoughtful, well put together, and...

best of all original. What's not to like?

InescuInescuover 7 years ago
Solid Story

Not in my list of favorites from you, but well written. The initial dialog between the ex and the psychiatrist was very well done. I found the reconciliation ending to be a bit flat, with the husbands behavior being a bit off/odd in some way. I think I'll reread it to get a better handle on why it didn't come off well for me. In either case, good to see something new from you.

orefinnorefinnover 7 years ago
Excellent!

I wish there were more stories such as this on the site. Well written and well developed! Thank you for sharing your talent. Chuck

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
I agree with Rc68

I couldn't quite get to a four, though. More like a three. Keep writing, but find a better story. The woman sounded like some tranny street walker, not a lawyer.

LSD and Luedon comment to the other people who comment to try and start something. That's their life. They spend all their time on here trying to start something so they can read their own comments and pat themselves on the back about how smart they are. They aren't lonely pathetic little kids, they're lonely pathetic old people who don't have any life except starting shit on a porn site. I think everyone is getting pretty tired of the LSD asshole. They were tired of Luedon a long time ago.

Rc68Rc68over 7 years ago
Good not great.....

Great story, read almost like a play in my opinion..... Not my favorite of your works, but still a solid 4****.... One ????, why does LSD and others always feel the need to comment to the commenters on these stories????? The comments are directed to the author, let them choose whether to comment or not.... When LSD or Luedon etc... Does the commenting, it just makes them look like lonely pathetic little kids trying to get their way...

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I enjoy my job as much as anyone else, but I LOVE writing. It's a fun escape. Real life leaves me precious little time to fully enjoy my hobby. I apologize to people who have to wait weeks between chapters of my stories. I enjoy reading erotic stories, but find that when I ...

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