All Comments on 'The Working Class'

While the story is pretty good, it came across as being very disjointed, like it SHOULD have been longer and more involved than it was. The sex scenes were also too fast and brief on details- hardly any excitement in them whatsoever. You show potential here with this, but I would encourage you to spend more time on a story like this and not be shy about drawing it out and telling the whole story. A story involving sex doesn't necessarily have to be short, y'know?

Author might want to learn the diff between "who" an "whom". Also, the diff between "my daughter and me" and "my daughter and I". Any one of those four can be correct - in the right place. In the wrong place, as happens in this story, turns me off and I stop reading. Consequently, cannot comment on the story itself.

Why bother?

Year after year of indifference only broken by hostility and for all he could see it looked like for all their years together yet to come was there would be more of the same.

Looks like after his promotion she doesn't need a job so much that she would be forced to accept a shift opposite his working hours, and by then she would have some seniority.

Makes it look more like she didn't want to be around him, only keeping him there for his income.

His daughter was as hateful toward him as his wife.

Child support for a few years instead of living in a damp basement would look better and better with each passing year.

Subjecting yourself to that will ruin your health and take years off your life.

Maybe if the story was longer it could have explained why he hadn't already left.

You need to get someone to edit this. It's basically unreadable

some people read for the errors the rest of us read for the story.

It pisses me off when someone is critical about something. I hated IGs for that,

This is wrong, that is wrong and fade into thin air.

Here is something to try, I learned from a newspaper proofreader when they had such things....read it backwards, that will cause you to focus better. Brain is lazy and gleefully glides over things, just wrote that, of course it is right.... After you finish reading it backwards read it again to see if intent has changed. Then read it again for your own enjoyment. If ya like it, send it on....