There Must Be A Mistake Ch. 15

"Where is the subject now?"

"He is at second base, expected to be at first base Friday evening at 6:42 PM."

"Very good, put all troops on alert for a Tuesday afternoon 2 PM drill. There has been a change in plans."

"Yes sir."

*************

"Hello Mrs. Valentino, this is Callum Robbins, you wanted to speak with me."

"Yes Callum is this a good time, or are you still in bed with Emma?"

"My mother has a very big mouth. It's amazing that my picture is not in all the newspapers, with Emma hanging all over me."

"I'm sorry to tell you this Callum, but I'm looking at a picture of both of you right now. It's the lead story on the front page of the National Observer."

"I'm going to kill that woman."

"I don't believe it was her. This looks like one of those Hollywood photographs."

"Thanks, I guess I can let her live another day. How can I help you Mrs. Valentino?"

"First, you can call me Aunt Patti like you used to when you were younger. Aunt Patti makes me feel younger than Mrs. Valentino. Second, I think you can help Laura and me with a problem we are having. We can't seem to find a way to keep people alive after two light years in stasis. Everyone says that you are great problem solver. We need a fresh outlook; a fresh pair of eyes to look at this program to see if you can solve it for us. Christian and Cassie are coming to help us with the technical side of the problem, but we need someone impartial; someone who can look at it from a non-technical side. Would you give up a few years of your life to help us?"

"Do you really think it will take that long?"

"Yes I do. Once we believe we have the problem solved, we have to find a volunteer who will be willing to go into stasis for one year to prove that the program works. It is probably the most dangerous part of our operation. Whoever accepts that challenge could suffer brain damage, failure of internal organs, and a whole host of other problems that could cause their own death. We have to be sure we are right before we put anyone into that chamber."

"Have you designed the chamber yet?"

"How could we possibly design a chamber, when we don't know what biological and technical problems we are facing?"

"I'm sorry, it was a stupid question."

"Callum the only stupid question is the question unasked. Will you help us?"

"When do you need me?"

"Could you be here in three weeks? We will send an airplane for you, if you tell us where you are."

"I thought I was the one who had a sense of humor Aunt Patti."

"You got it from your father. I lived with him for several months. I guess it rubbed off on me."

"I will be at home in three weeks."

"That's wonderful, I can pick up all three of you at one time. What kind of car would you like while you're here?"

"A Lamborghini would be nice."

"There goes your first two years' salary."

"I'm getting paid?"

"You are receiving $500,000 a year for your services, just like our scientists."

"I'd like a Ford F350, all-wheel-drive, all tricked out."

"That sounds more reasonable. It will be here when you arrive."

"Thanks Aunt Patti; I'm going to drive it home when we're finished?"

"No you're not; we will ship it to you. Your father would treat me like Callie for the rest of my life if I let you drive that beast home."

"I'm 25 years old, and I'm still living under the thumb of my old man. He must've been something else when he was younger."

"You haven't heard the stories about when the mob sent 16 men out here to kill him so he couldn't testify against them in New York."

"No one tells me anything about those years. I see the scars on his chest and his back. He quickly puts a shirt on when I ask about them."

"If you help us find the answers to our problems, I'll answer all the questions you have about your father."

"And if you're problem is unsolvable, I get no information at all, and I have no fun."

"Callum if a week in Los Angeles, with an actress named Emma, isn't fun, you had better see a psychiatrist."

"Well, she is very active in bed, but she has a brain the size of the pea."

"She was very tough to talk to after having sex for six hours."

"It was only four hours, and she fell asleep afterwards."

"I feel so sorry for you; what did you do when she was asleep?"

"I did 200 laps in her infinity pool."

"You and Stephano have got to compare notes."

"Goodbye Aunt Patti, I don't want to know about your sex life."

"Afraid you might be at the bottom of the totem pole?"

"Aunt Patti you are too much. I'll see you in three weeks."

"Thank you Callum, you will never know how much I appreciate you coming here."

*************

"The three of them are coming to help us Laura. I never expected that to happen. I thought we might get one or two of them, but never three. Callum sounds like a lot of fun. I think Cassie just wanted to get away Callie for a while. I don't know what Christian's motivation is for coming, but I believe he didn't want to be the only one left in the house besides his father. We are going to have a very eclectic group working with us. We may be able to crack this thing after all."

"Mom are you going to wear those clothes the entire time we are in Canada, or would you like to pack a bag to come with me."

"I was going to wash these every night so they would be clean in the morning. They are wash and wear."

A helicopter roared over the house, rattling the house on its foundation. It headed for one of the landing pads on the west side of the property.

"Mom if we're not there in 15 minutes, Rita and Paul will be in the hangar screwing like rabbits. We will not be out of here for hours. I don't know how they do it, but I swear they are on their backs more often than they are on their legs."

"Don't worry about them Laura, I can still fly the helicopter. I've done it before."

"You're not flying it with me inside it, I'll take my car."

"Where is your spirit of adventure. You want to go into outer space with Doctor Luck, and he doesn't have a Spaceship License."

"Do you know anyone who does?"

"No, but that's not the point. You are willing to risk your life for a man everyone calls crazy; on a spaceship that looks like a beach ball. It runs on an antigravity system that has never been tried. If you make it beyond Earth's gravitational pull, and past the planet Mars, they are going to deploy a nuclear engine of a design no one has ever tested. It was reluctantly approved by the Department of Energy, and forced down the throats of the NRC. They were so unprepared for their meeting with Delicious and Gordon, they were afraid it would become public knowledge, and a national scandal. The Commission didn't want to spend the next five years in court being embarrassed by the best lawyers in the country. They would have been shown as the most incompetent group of scientists ever assembled. Congress would close them down, and disband them.

Finally, Doctor Luck and company are going to deploy an engine that is so revolutionary most scientists have no clue as to how it works. The Ion/H2 engine is so out of the realm of scientific knowledge these scientists have been studying it since it was patented. They were allowed to see this patented material under the strictest nondisclosure agreement ever written. Although they agree that the engine 'should work in principle', they don't understand why it will work. These are the best scientific minds in the world. They are looking over plans a 17-year-old girl invented, and they can't understand how she did it. They don't want her to leave this planet. They want to know what she would discover by the time she's 30."

"Please pack a bag mother so we can get started on our trip. That was a very interesting speech, but if we can crack this problem, I'm still going."

"I know, I was just expressing my opinion. I am still allowed to do that as your mother?"

"Yes you are, and I appreciate your concern. Pack a bag please, or I will leave without you."

"You will do no such thing young lady. It is my helicopter and my airplane."

"You are correct mother."

Laura reached into her pocketbook and pulled out a credit card.

"This is my credit card. It is attached to dad's credit card account. He said I could use it to go anywhere I wanted to go. I am going to Alberta Canada whether you like it or not. Goodbye mother."

"I hope you have a flat tire."

"I have a Road Service Contract."

"I hope your engine blows up."

"I will rent a car."

"You can't rent a car. You aren't 21."

"I have a perfect fake ID and driver's license. It says I'm 23 years old. Dad got it for me."

"I'm going to kill that rotten bastard."

"Are you coming with me mother or not?"

"I have to change and pack a bag."

"You have five minutes before I leave without you."

"I can't do everything in five minutes."

"You have four minutes and fifty seconds left."

"I should have become a nun."

"If you became a nun, you would never have been able to afford all the batteries you go through."

"That's your father's fault for being in Charleston, and none of your business."

"Do you want any help packing?"

"You stay out of my room."

"Are you packing batteries?"

"You bet your ass I am."

"I've never had anything in my ass."

"You've never lived until you have."

"Mother!!!!"

"You asked."

"Is it really that good?"

"You will have to find out for yourself little girl."

"I am not a little girl."

"You've been on the pill since you were 15 years old, and you're still a virgin."

"You got married to dad as a virgin, so don't preach to me."

"My mother made me promise to stay a virgin until I got married. I couldn't ask her to change her mind, because she was murdered when I was barely 18. It screwed up my mind royally as I got older. The three of you suffered because of it."

"You and dad seem to be randy enough in bed."

"That's none of your business."

"I didn't say it was. I was just stating a fact."

"Several people helped me free my mind about sex. Your Aunt Jemma was one. The wife of the director of the FBI is a psychologist, and she was very helpful. Then there was your father, who was very patient with me. I'm ready to go."

"Did you remember to pack underwear?"

"SHIT; I'll be right back."

"Mother you are impossible."

*************

They walked out to the helipad, and Paul and Rita were nowhere in sight.

Laura said, "I told you so."

"I am not going to fly off in the helicopter. Just get inside, and I will get both of them here in less than one minute."

"Do you swear you're not going to fly this thing?"

"Yes I promise."

Laura strapped herself into the passenger compartment, and waited.

Patti got into the pilot's seat. She did the preflight checklist, and started the engine. Once it was warm, she began revving it up to take off speed.

Paul's head peeked out of the hanger. He saw Patti sitting in the pilot's seat he panicked.

She waved goodbye, and smiled.

He screamed, "NO," and started running towards the helicopter. He was only wearing his socks.

Rita was completely naked as she scooped up their clothes, and ran towards the passenger compartment of the helicopter.

Patti throttled down, and turned the engine off.

Laura was laughing as she watched both her 'uncle' and 'aunt' run naked towards her.

She had never seen a man naked, in the flesh, before, and 'it' looked funny flopping around as he ran.

Paul banged on the pilot side door. Patti opened the tiny window and asked, "May I help you sir?"

"The last time you did this you lost your memory for six weeks. If you did it again I would cut your head off with my Swiss Army knife, and your father would have approved."

"Do me a favor Paul, the next time you get angry with me, please have some clothes on. I've never seen anything so small in my life"

"If Stephano wouldn't kill me, I would show you how small it is when it's in action inside you."

"Are you going to be able to fly me to Albany, or should I restart the engine, and fly there myself?"

"Get out of your toy, because Rita and I are the only ones certified to fly it. There will be an army of police waiting to arrest you at the Albany airport if you get there."

"Who said I was going to land at the airport Paul?"

"You were always one step ahead of everyone, except your children. Get out of my helicopter before I give you piss all over the wind screen."

"I'll get out, but don't you touch me with that little thing. I've only touched one of them in my life. I want to keep that record intact."

While Paul and Patti were arguing by the front of the aircraft, Rita was in the back getting dressed with Laura's help.

"I'm going to kill your mother. I was this close to cuming, and she stole it from me."

"Aunt Rita can I ask you a question. You can't tell anyone what I asked you."

"I've known you since your mother had you in her belly. You can ask me anything, you know that."

"My mother and I were having a heated discussion this morning, and something she said confused me. She said you haven't lived, until you had it up your ass. I haven't had it in any position yet. Is it really supposed to be that good?"

Rita pulled Laura into her arms. "Listen munchkin, there is oral sex, inter-mammary sex, hand sex, feet sex, butt cheek sex, thigh sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, and so many other types of sex you will not believe the variety. Even Paul and I have not tried them all, and we have tried a lot of them. Paul has been my one and only sex partner. Don't be in a hurry to have sex. Wait for the right one. As far as what your mother said today, anal sex can be quite fulfilling. It is not as fulfilling as vaginal sex for a woman. The vagina lubricates both the man and the woman. It heightens the sensations for both of them. The ass is always dry and requires additional lubrication. Never let a man into your ass without it, because it hurts. Never let him in there, without a condom, unless you are in a stable relationship like your mother and father, or Paul and I. Remember, safe sex is the best sex. Anal sex is dangerous if you do not use a condom, and have multiple partners. The AIDS epidemic was caused by men and women having vaginal, or anal sex indiscriminately, and without the use of condoms. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes Rita, thank you, that's what I needed to know. I think you should let Paul in; otherwise he is going to catch a cold. If his face gets any redder, he really is going to kill my mother."

"Do you want to get out with me, or do you want an education on the male organ?"

"I've been watching it flip up and down while he was running here. It looked quite large and quite funny."

"That part of Paul is not supposed to be used while he is running. He gets much larger when he's excited; all men do. Women stretch to accommodate the men in their lives. You must remember babies come out of the vagina, and if a baby can come out, a penis can go in."

"Thanks Rita, I think I'll go for a walk with you."

"Chicken!"

"No, you said to pick my own man. Paul is taken."

"You're right. You go out the left side; I'll let Paul in the right side. When he's in, I'll meet you, and we will go for a short walk."

********

The yelling and laughing that went on between Paul, Rita, Laura, and Patti as they flew from Glen Falls to Albany would fill a good-sized book. Unfortunately, it was a short trip, and by the time they landed next to their jet aircraft, all was forgiven. They hugged each other, but Patti had to leave them with one more jab.

"If you two are not here on time, when we get back, the five of us are going to parachute down over the ranch. If that happens, I'm taking my helicopter away from you, and I am going to get my license to fly it. You know I can do it, so don't mess with me."

"If you touch my helicopter, I'm going to put termites into your computer. Don't mess with me Patti, because I will do it."

"My computer is insured Paul, your job isn't."

Laura said, "I'm sorry Uncle Paul, but that is Checkmate'."

"She always has to have the last word? That's why we've hated working for her every for the last 23 years. She lets us fly her jet, every once in a while, but not enough to get our license to fly it alone. Every time we get close, she sells it, and buys a different type of aircraft, just to confuse us. I've never hated anyone so much in my entire life. We'd leave, but the health benefits are too good."

Patti laughed. "Except for your yearly flight physicals, when was the last time either of you went to the Doctor?"

Rita replied, "I had a mammogram."

"The way Paul handles your breasts he would've noticed any lumps before you did."

"How about you Paul, have you gone to the Doctor for any reason?"

"No, but next year I have to have a pipe shoved up my ass, because I turned 50."

Patti laughed. "I have that instrument in the barn. I use it on the horses. I will do it to you for free. You won't need sedation. Laura will hold onto your tiny dick. Rita will grab hold of your balls to keep you still. I will shove that 2 inch pipe up your ass so far you will choke."

"If I can do it to you first, you can do it to me."

"I would need sedation. There's nothing to hold on to if you remember what the front of a female looks like."

"I don't like you Patti."

"I don't like you either Paul. Have a safe flight back to Glen Falls."

***************

Patti and Stephano had always purchased smaller private jets, but it always turned out that they had more family members and friends who wanted to go with them then they could accommodate. The price difference between a Grumman 650 and a Boeing 757 was so insignificant they purchased the larger aircraft. They had it set up as a first-class cabin that could accommodate 46 people and much more if they decided to take more people onboard. Although 757s were designed to carry up to 210 people to a range of 4100 miles, with only 46 people, plus 10 crewmembers on board, it could travel at Mach .8, for 7000 miles or more. It equaled the range of the Grumman, but was slower, and had to fly lower. As far as comfort was concerned the 757 had the Grumman beat by a mile.

Today's flight, from Albany to Edmonton would cover 2000 miles, and take 4 hours and 30 minutes.

The two of them felt lost in this giant aircraft. Laura called Anna to see how she was doing on her final exams. Instead, she got an ear full about her new boyfriend. Anna told her he was a real Southern Gentleman. His only flaw was he kept trying to head further south than she was used to, and was attempting to get into her pants. She told her sister he was so wonderful, he was getting very close to being successful.

Laura screamed, "Don't you dare do that at the end of a semester. You will have your Master's Degree, and never see him again. If he doesn't ask you to marry him, and put a ring on your finger, tell him to go fuck himself, and not you."

"Laura, he's gorgeous. I have to lose it to someone, why not him?"

"Baby sister, listen to me. How many other girls have said the same thing before losing their virginity to him? How many other women has he been in bed with before you? Think how dangerous it's going to be? Are you going to tell him to use a condom or is it going to be skin to skin. What diseases does he have? What is he going to give you that you will carry for a lifetime? I just had the sex talk with Aunt Rita today. She didn't try to scare me away from sex. She just told me to be smart about it. That's all I'm asking you to do; 'BE SMART.' Think before you jump; PLEASE! I don't want you to get hurt. It would kill me if you do."

"If mom and I were having this conversation I would have turned a deaf ear to her. She always bosses us around, and tries to keep us in line. I'm glad it's you, because I will think about what you said. What else did Aunt Rita say?"