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"Keep the paper by the generators, the heat will help keep it from swelling any larger. Try it with the laptops also."
"Yes sir.
"How is your longhand sir?"
"The nuns beat my hands often enough for me to get it right. So I'm pretty good at it now."
"Why don't you hit the sack, and get started on it in the morning. A new day will give you fresh ideas."
"Good night Miss Duchesne."
"Good night Colonel, sleep well."
The night watch was set. Laser barriers protected the camp every 10 feet for night intruders, both human and animal, and every tent but one was quiet. That was to be expected.
- COMMENTS
tjsmith839almost 8 years agoIn spite of the spelling, grammar, math and logic errors, it's a good yarn.
Anonymousover 8 years agoIf I had spent money buying this novel, I would be pissed at the errors which an editor should have fixed. But no reader paid anything! Come on. Comment on the content. Here is mine: I am captivated by this story. It keeps me up late at night reading it. Thank you.
Anonymousalmost 9 years agoI Think the spelling mistakes and the typo`s make Your stories more human,
this is the second Time I have read your stories and I think you are a class act .
don't take notice of the nere-do-wells.
and continue the brilliant work.
Thank you so much for your stories
kjohns2001almost 9 years agoI've been reading this story for the past couple of days. I've rated each bit a five of course, even though I've found the amount of physical violence between men and women to be a bit much. (real life would find many of the lead characters in jail on domestic abuse charges...male and female alike! Don't get me started on how public discussions on sexual relations would simply not be tolerated to the extent that it is in this story!)
Anyway, back to my side note, today, while I was reading this chapter, the news announced that NASA was announcing a breakthrough in the development of faster than light space travel. A new engine using electromagnetic fields. No fuel needed, just energy enough aboard to run the motors, I guess they don't consider whatever type of energy generation equipment they intend to use as running on fuel, although I guess they might not consider use of solar energy or use of the electrical fluctuations in the void to generate energy to be in the same class as liquid or solid fuel.
The story was not a very long one considering the importance of the subject matter. What I found most interesting was the coincidence of the story coming out while I was reading this story. I have found myself wishing many times while reading that someone would grow a brain and realize that one of the most needed steps to truly moving us into the space age will be the development of a gravity drive, and man made gravity within spaceships. (I keep seeing myself standing in front of a bunch of scientists and drawing a line on a blackboard, telling them it's a road, then drawing a car and asking them to describe all the forces affecting the car. When gravity is mentioned I would ask someone to illustrate it. I'm willing to bet that 90+% of people would draw an arrow above the car pointing down. Why this is I simply don't understand. There is nothing above the car. Gravity can best be described as an attraction from below reaching up to pull the car down. Gravity can be manipulated, nature does this, search for anomalies in earth's gravity that scientists have investigated if you don't believe me. If nature can do it, humans can do it, we just need to put more effort into the science behind being able to do so.
Anyway, if we develop anti-gravity or gravity drives (yes there IS a difference!) we will be well on our way to space.
I will make one other observation on the story, there is no way that any real businessman, or businesswoman, would not be thinking mass production of ships. It's cheaper to make and sell 12 of something than one unique item in most cases, think airplanes, cars and TV's. And the market for ships would be out of this world after the first one succeeded...pardon the pun please...as governments and private industry would fight over who would get to buy the first ships off the assembly lines driving the cost up.
In any case I'm looking forward to the rest of the story, I'm enjoying it immensely.
Ambisinisteralmost 9 years agoI have been reading this story from the its beginning.You have an excellent story idea.
But you desperately need an good proofreader, and a skilled editor. The typographical errors, and wrong word usages can make the story flow very erratic.
The long gaps of dialogue also become very confusing without periodically identifying speakers.
Just one example of not checking your own work is in simple arithmetic. A 10 million dollar annual salary computes to over $27,000 a day, not less than the $2000 that was stated in this chapter. Errors like this abound and detract from a rather enjoyable story.
