There Must Be A Mistake Ch. 31

"If you remember Lucius, Anna was always the calm one."

"Yes I remember Sir, but I'm going to test that theory by telling her that Jemma is pregnant."

Anna laughed hysterically. "Grandpa, you did it again. Why didn't Jemma kill you this time? She nearly killed you when Patrick came along. Wait one moment; I know why, it's nearly 15 years. You have one child every 15 years. Noone can say you aren't consistent. When this child graduates high school, you will be 104. Are you sure you don't want to go with Laura? They can put you in stasis, and give you one year to get everything back in working order. You can get Jemma pregnant again, wait for the baby to be born so you know what sex it is, name it, and go back to sleep for 14 years, and do it again. You will have enough progeny to start your own extended family. Heaven knows you have enough money to do it."

"What is he going to do Anna?"

"Nothing too outrageous mom. Grandpa got Jemma pregnant again, almost exactly 15 years after Patrick was conceived. The man is a medical marvel."

"Where is Jemma? I better get to her before she kills him or herself."

"She's in the bathroom, or at least that's where she was 10 minutes ago."

"Dad, Jemma is almost 55 years old. Do you think you could give her the rest of her life off from having children?"

"The Doctor said she went through menopause. She's taking pills. She's not supposed to be able to have children anymore. What do you want me to do, sue the Doctor?"

"Who haven't you sued in your lifetime? If this baby comes out deformed, because of the medication she's taking, I believe Lucius and a few of his friends would be having a conversation with this Doctor very soon afterwards."

"It would be very soon afterwards Patricia, very soon."

Patti saw Jemma approaching, and went to greet her.

"Hi prego, how are you feeling?"

"I'm going to kill him. He can't keep his mouth shut about anything."

"Would you like me to help you?"

"You hammer spikes through his hands, into the floor. I'll cut out his tongue."

"I think you're aiming too high, I think you should go about 4 feet lower, don't you?"

"Why should I punish myself, when I only want to punish him?"

"We could always have it preserved, and mounted on something that vibrates for your pleasure."

"We could, but I would miss looking at his face, even though he's an ass most of the time."

"Well put Jemma. I guess we are going to have to let him live a little while longer, at least until his new child is born."

"I can't wait to hear the reaction from Junior, and Patrick. I hope Junior doesn't fall on the floor, and die laughing. He has his father sense of humor, and that's what William would do."

"They are both due back December 1st, isn't that correct?"

"There is a great deal of secrecy about that, because of the amount of enemies William has around the world. They will be secreted out of China when it is safe, and they will both will finally be back in my arms after a very long time."

********************

The Sommelier approached William and asked him to sample the wine he had decanted 20 minutes ago. He presented the bottle, which showed it was from the Grgich Hills Estate in the Napa Valley. It was a 2009 vintage Sauvignon Blanc.

The Sommelier tasted it first, and then poured a sample glass for William. He swirled it around the glass, and sniffed the aroma of the grapes as the scent rose above the rim. He took a tiny taste, swirled it around his mouth, holding it against his taste buds. He swallowed it slowly, allowing it time to pass down his throat. When he was finished, he looked at the Sommelier and asked if everyone was getting the same wine.

The answer was 'Yes,' Doctor Finch demanded it.

William said, "The 2008 was a better year for this grape, but this is a very fine wine, everyone should be very pleased."

"Thank you very much Mister Zabo, I agree with your assessment."

After the man left, William said, "The man is an ass. I wouldn't know a good grape from a bad grape if I sat on it. All I know is the wine tasted very good to me. I hope everyone else likes it as much as I did. After all, it does come from my winery."

Jemma screamed. "You own a winery, and you never told me."

"I own a fleet of tugboats, and I never told you about them either. What's the difference?"

"You could have taken me to see your winery, because it's in the Napa Valley. It's supposed to be one of the most beautiful areas of the country."

"It's just like upstate New York, but it sits on a fault line. I didn't want to take any chances with your life, because I love you too much."

"You are so dead William."

"I love you so Jemma. I was just thinking about your health, and welfare."

"You were just thinking about sitting in your wonderful lounge chair, reading the Wall Street Journal. I think that's where you'll sleep for the next 9 months."

"You're not being fair Jemma."

"I'm going to be sitting in a room with 20 something-year-old women who are pregnant. They are going to be looking at me, and saying 'this woman is crazy.' I couldn't agree with them more."

"You will not be sitting in a room with women 30 years younger than you are. I will make arrangements so you are the only patient being taken care of during your office visits. No Doctor in his right mind will say no to me, isn't that right Lucius?"

"As usual Sir, we will offer the doctor the very easy way, the easy way, and then my way. Eventually he or she will see the light, and praise God that they are alive to continue practicing medicine."

"Thank you Lucius. Paul, I still have not heard a firsthand account of your trip to Peru. I look forward to it at your convenience."

"I will speak to your secretary this week's sir, and make the arrangements."

*******************************

Chimes were sounded, and the ballroom doors opened. The orchestra was playing, as everyone looked at the numbered Mylar balloons to help guide them to their tables.

In the center of the huge dance floor was a large gazebo, with 2 red runners leading to it from opposite sides of the venue. Four video cameras covered every angle of the room. Two photographers moved stealthily through the crowd, taking group, and individual pictures.

*****************

The lights in the room dimmed. The lights over the red runners and inside the gazebo brightened. Overture music began to play, and a spotlight was directed at the north door. It opened to find Deborah and Rebecca pulling their father, by ropes, up to the gazebo. His friends and his guests roared with laughter. Once he was safely in the gazebo, the girls closed the gate behind him, removed the ropes, and held onto his arms.

A female jurist joined him in the gazebo. Carrying a large Bowie knife, she announced to Joseph if he attempted to leave the gazebo area, he would have to leave his private parts behind.

Joseph attempted to cover himself, but his daughters held his arms to his sides.

The sounds of the traditional 'Wedding March' began, and the spotlight centered on the south door. It opened to show a vision of beauty in white. Sandra was wearing the wedding dress she wore 14 years earlier, and she looked as beautiful in it now as she did then. It looked as if she stumbled at first, and then continued walking gracefully towards the gazebo. Behind her were Joseph's parents, with smiles that would light up Broadway. Sandra looked at Joseph, and he returned her gaze.

As she reached out to grab the railing, heavy chains could be seen on her wrists. Joseph's parents held fake shotguns on her, as she walked up the steps. Once she was inside the gazebo, Sam and Joan gave the fake guns to the attendants, walked up the steps, and closed the gate.

Sam said, "We have them corralled now."

Everyone in the room was laughing so hard, they were crying.

Joan helped Sandi remove the chains, and as soon as she was free she met Joseph in the middle of the gazebo, where they kissed long and passionately.

The judge had to call a halt to these proceedings, before they got out of hand, and became R-rated, or worse. There were under age children here, and they must be protected from overstimulated adults.

7 minutes later, Doctor and Mrs. Joseph Finch were once again Doctor and Mrs. Joseph Finch. If there were any people happier than Joseph and Sandi, it was Rebecca and Deborah Finch. They had tears in their eyes, and they were hugging each other as if one of their greatest plans had come to fruition.

Joe took Deborah, and Sandra took Rebecca. Their talks to their daughters were nearly identical, and they were very private.

When they were finished, their parents said, "Go have fun, that's what today is all about, having fun, the two of you made it possible for us to be together." to fruition

The gazebo was removed, the dance floor was opened, and hell was about to be raised. It started out as a fireball, and it only became hotter as the evening wore on.

The first course was served, and it looked like the Gulf of Mexico had been successfully raided. There couldn't have been a shrimp, oyster, clam, or crab that got away.

While the parents digested, there were games for children of all ages. Group pictures were taken and all around revelry was being had. Jemma and Anna found out that they were not the only ones who were pregnant; Jennifer was also in their ever-expanding group.

Anna took the microphone. "I think we will all agree that today has been a unique and wonderful day. Some of us have found out recently that we are pregnant, with or without our permission. Many of our husbands are about to undergo an unexpected surgical procedure at our hands, to make sure this doesn't happen again. One of these men is my grandfather, William Zabo.

At the mention of his name, the hoots and hollers rose to decibel levels that shook the chandeliers. William stood up, and took a bow. As he sat down, Jemma stood up, and hit him. The women in the audience howled their approval. My grandfather is very predictable. He gets his lovely wife, Jemma, pregnant every fifteen years. His namesake, William Junior, will be 31 in April. Patrick will be 16 in September, followed by his newest addition in June or July. As he approaches his 105th birthday, Jemma is going into hiding. She does not wish to be pregnant when she is 69 years old."

The audience laughed as William stood up and bowed again.

Anna continued. "I believe my grandfather is the oldest male to impregnate anyone here this afternoon, and now I have a question. There are three of us who are definitely pregnant by less than two months. We would like to know how many others are also pregnant by less than two months among us. If you don't wish to say, please don't. If the dummy next to you doesn't know, and you wish to shock him now, please do so. This is a nonscientific study. This is just a sampling of how many women, who work together, tend to get pregnant at the same time. If you wish to acknowledge you are pregnant, please stand up."

As soon as Jennifer stood up William called Even a pervert. That brought the house down again.

Jennifer pulled Delicious up, and Jemma asked if the entire Luck extended family was going to be pregnant before Christmas.

Adam stood up and said, "NO. Laura will not be pregnant until December 26th. She will remain a virgin until that day."

He knew he was standing up when he made that announcement, but as his eyes cleared, and they refocused on the woman he loved, he asked, "What did I say wrong baby?"

The snarl left her face as she looked down at him. "You were so close Adam, so close to being perfect, then you had to tell the entire world I was a twenty-four year old virgin."

"It is something you should be extremely proud of Laura. You didn't jump into bed with the first Tom, Dick, or Joey who made nice. You waited for love. You waited for me. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Can I stand up now?"

"I don't know, can you?"

"I may be a little less than graceful, but I would like to try."

Adam stood up, and Laura attached her body to his for stability, and other more pressing reasons.

She whispered into his ear, "I need a shower, Desperately."

"I think your mother might notice you were missing."

"I know. You may die later because of it."

"Don't tease me, Christmas is five weeks away."

People started looking around the room. A woman stood up, but apparently, her husband knew, because he didn't say anything.

Another woman stood up, and her husband yelled, "Sylvia, not again."

His friends laughed at him.

That appeared to be it, until Sandra stood up. Joseph took her hand and kissed it.

He asked, "Do you need an escort dear?"

"No I'm just answering a question."

"What question is that dear?"

"You said to me one day, 'If anyone could fuck up a free lunch, it would be us.'

Now Anna asked if anyone was pregnant by under two months, she should stand up. I'm answering her question, and the dummy next to me doesn't know."

Joe's chair skidded out underneath him, and he fell flat on his back. His guests were so tired of laughing; all they were only capable of applauding and crying.

"One fucking defective condom and I get you pregnant."

He screamed, "Get over here Deborah."

She ran to her father's table, and looked down at him. "Yes dad."

"Did you know those condoms were defective?"

"How would I know if the condom was defective dad? The advertisement said, 'Premium Reusable Seconds."

"You purchased 1000 condoms for me. How much did they cost you?"

"EBay had a huge sale on personal items. These were listed at $149.00 for the 1000 units. I bid fifteen dollars, and I won. I thought I got a great deal."

"I'll let you know after your brother or sister is born."

"How did mom get pregnant if you used a condom?"

"It was easy; they are all defective. They all leaked. One of my little guys snuck out, and made a date with one of your mothers eggs. In eight months, or so, somewhere deep in space, I will be delivering your sister or brother."

"How will Rebecca and I know what it is?"

"I'll send you a postcard."

*****************

When 6 PM arrived, it was almost merciful. Women had their shoes off as they walked slowly to the elevators. Children were unconscious on their parents shoulders. Everyone was so full, no one wanted to see, or think about food ever again.

As Sam was settling the hideously expensive bill, Sandi walked over to him and asked, "Sam would you have them send a copy of the video, and stills of the children and us to my father. Have them mark it "Sensitive Documents: Eyes Only."

Sam kissed his daughter-in-law. "It is the right thing to do Sandi. You may not forget what he did, but you can forgive him for it."

From the hors d'oeuvres to the wedding cake, everything was fantastic. No one ever attended a wedding, where you could order from, and receive the meal of his or her choice before. Sandi and Joseph's wedding would be talked about for a long time, and among these people, it would never be topped.

There were large articles about this occasion in every newspaper from Dallas to Chicago, and San Francisco to Boston, with pictures of William Zabo and Chef Maximilian prominently displayed. Over the next month, Chef Maximilian was interviewed for articles in the world's foremost culinary magazines as he was promised by Colonel Lucius Canyon. His star was shining brightly, and Chef Metzler was planning a move for him to the newest Hyatt Regency Hotel in Bonn, Germany.

As Maximilian thought about his good fortune, he realized it started with one phone call, and a positively impossible task to be completed. However, when the name William Zabo was put in the same sentence as the impossible, it immediately became possible. No one, in his right mind, said no to this man. He certainly didn't.

Note: Things here are progressing very nicely. I am on course for a full recovery in about One Year. Three more weeks for this set of treatments, with a lot of time off in-between. One more full set after this, and then they will set me up for a recurring schedule. My doctors, and I are very pleased. P_D10/Bob