All Comments on 'Thoughts on Cuckolding'

Should always be in fetish or trash like the garbage it is

A

I read this treatise, but I was left wondering what it added to the discussion that goes on (especially in the Loving Wives story comments).

Maybe there will be some agreement and disagreement with the analysis and opinions Youami has expressed and that might bring out some interesting points, but I doubt it.

All the opinions among the commentariat on this topic are somewhat fixed.

Lue

The only common thread is a slut wife. For example, some husbands are reluctant but addicted to pain.

If cuckolding was the best fetish since sliced bread, why is there not a SINGLE relationship that starts that way?

It's always lies, deception, pretenses. Some couples START out as swingers. Swinging clearly has benefits to all involved in some cases. Cuckolding is a toxic and destructive fetish. It's the only one that is built on lies. In the online world, with anonymity, you'd expect there to be more upfront cuckold relationships. But there isn't.

The cuck is usually a voyeur, on the rare chance they enjoy it. Sometimes secretly gay (eating male ejaculate from the wife) But these examples are more easily gained in OTHER HEALTHIER fetishes. Even BDSM works much better for humiliation.

It's just low tier fetish because it REQUIRES betrayal. And while that sadism might be hot to some, when relationships/other people are involved it comes unglued.

For some, cuckolding floats their boat. For others, it’s not their cup of tea. Of all places, Literotica should be a place of tolerance. Don’t like it so don’t read it.

Nailed it. You've coverd all the bases, its fun because its preposterous that I would tolerate any of these actions, but do enjoy some others living hell.

Goodhusband has some well written stories here, like Awakenings, Michael is a man forced to deal with his wife announcing her up comming plans.

Jackie and Artie, The Coustisen, are more in the submissive male role. A scene that has stuck in my mind is Artie serving his wife and her lover drinks, upon entering the room with his tray she is reversed cowgirl skirt up around her waist enjoying his fingering of her cunt, "put the drinks on the table and then sit down", shocking, not so much in the context of this story.

These are long stories if anyone is interested

Reading this, I couldn't help but think that you (the author) has no actual experience with any type of "cuckolding" lifestyle, you don't know anyone who does, and you didn't bother to interview anyone with such an interest. You simply wrote an essay based on the stories you've read on this site. If I were to write an essay about the Amish way of life (which I know absolutely nothing about aside from what I've read), it would probably feel very similar to this essay!

You covered some of the bases of so-called "cuckolding" (which is a term I find ridiculous, as it had been retired for centuries before apparently resurfacing on this site), but not all them.

Yes, there is a (small?) subset of "cucks" who get off on being humiliated by the wife and/or "bull." They are the "sub" in a "Dom/sub" husband/wife relationship. These are your "Model 1" cucks.

There are also a (small?) subset of cucks who are "curious" closet bi-sexuals, who use cuckolding as an excuse to have sexual contact with other men while not "being gay." These also fit into your "Model 1", although not every "sub" would be into male-on-male contact.

And, of course, there are plenty of cucks who fit into your Models 2 and 3, who are either aware and unhappy about their wives' affairs, or are unaware.

But you missed a "Model 4", which -- in my experience and observations -- represents the majority of "cucks": men who enjoy sharing their wives for numerous reasons, who aren't into humiliation, and have no bi-sexual curiosity whatsoever.

As far as where stories belong, I believe a story should be categorized based on its central premise. The central premise of the Model 1 story isn't the husband/wife relationship, but their Dom/sub dynamic. Therefore, those stories belong in BDSM.

Model 1 stories that focus on bi-sexual contact are best categorized in Gay Male.

Models 2, 3, and 4 belong in Loving Wives.

But then, we all know that ALL FOUR types of stories will be placed in LW, because that category gets the most hits, the most votes, and the most comments. It's simply more fun to post in that category.

In my comment I feel urged to remind the author, Youami, that Literotica contains stories, written words, and that presumably the vast majority of it is purely fictional

or is it?

In today's society, in which divorces and split-up usually benefit females financially with devastating financial and other consequences for men, a society where women now earn more than men do (truth) and where 62% of new University attendees are women, versus 38% men (USA), we find cuckold stories on the rise.

Aside from emotions, just factually what would prevent a married woman and mother of her husband's children in her late 30's or early 40's from seeking and engaging with a better sex partner outside of the relationship?

Seeking a partner for life (and sex) in one's early 20's it is much easier for a woman to get sex. Just expose some cleavage and choose from the male pursuers. A male has to work harder, he has to pursue woman and face a percentage of rejection. But while a young woman can easily get sex, it is much harder to find a man who will be a good provider, father and protector and with each new sex partner she temporarily engages with her chances to attract a quality man for life diminishes. But once she has hooked a good man (who is trapped) and has bared children with him, the 'provider-ship' is taken care of. She can now choose sex partners solely based on their sexual performance.

Is there a correlation between women having the upper hand in society and cuckolding being on the rise?

You tell me!

... and people wonder why men avoid marriage in ever increasing numbers.

he had his balls cut off to enjoy the knowledge that he'll raise a baster kid from his mistress/owner after drinking the bull's cum out off her.

Swingerjoe

I appreciated your comments and criticism concerning my thoughts on cuckolding as I feel it is displayed in the various categories at Literotica. But I have to say, I took umbridge at your statement that I didn't interview anyone in the cuckold lifestyle. For some reason known only to yourself you failed to read the entirety of my submission where I described my real-life encounter with a submissive cuckold. By all means criticise where you feel it's due but do me the courtesy of reading my material to the end before you place foot in mouth.

I admit I skimmed past that paragraph. So, you based your opinion on one person’s experience? How is that better? Again, you failed to include the “Model 4” cucks who comprise the overwhelming majority.

I greatly enjoyed your other essays. With this one, you missed the mark. Maybe you could write another called “Thoughts on Cuckolding From a Majority Perspective.”

One more comment.

WritingRod’s statistics are way off (women earn less than men on whole, and somewhere around 54% of college graduates are women), but his basic premise is accurate. Women are far more powerful today than they were a generation or two ago. The percentage of women polled who admit to having an affair has skyrocketed at the same time (while the men’s rate has remained the same.) I believe there is a correlation there.

Is there also a correlation between the more powerful status of women and the rate of “cuckolding” (meaning men who enjoy sharing their wives?) I don’t know. First, you’d have to prove to me that the cuckolding rate is on the rise!

Thanks for posting this. I believe that it was well thought out and well presented. Even though it appears you are not a fan of these stories you also haven't made the effort to totally degrade anyone who likes them, you just posted your opinion. It is agreed that the majority of these do not belong in the Loving Wives but in the Fetish category. Maybe it is time for Literotica to create a new category for Cuckolding be it male or female led. That way the haters wouldn't have to read anything that offends them and if they did it is their own doing. Again, well said and thank you.

Swingerjoe

Thank you for responding. I appreciate your admission of not reading all of my submission. No probs. Firstly, I have never purported to have conducted a nation-wide survey on the cuckolding lifestyle, nor do I have access to external peer reviewed sample surveys. The married guy I mentioned is the only person that I have met who was willing to discuss the pros and cons of his cuckold-based married life. I never implied that the inclusion of his details was meant as a representative sample of all types of cuckold relationships; that would be a ridiculous assertion. However, the fact that I included details of the one person who openly discussed his marital situation does not invalidate the information he provided uncoerced. I would be fascinated to find any valid research focusing on the cuckold lifestyle that used statistical sampling methodologies. Any references, thoughts?

Secondly, I again draw your attention to the words of my submission, where I state that "There seems to be at least three (3) models of the cuckold relationship it pertains to the levels of knowledge, degree of approval and level of participation and of the cuckold male partner."

I agree that there may well be other dimensions in addition to the three I discussed. I certainly do not dismiss your additional model 4. I sincerely thank you for using my ramblings as a stimulus for your consideration and comment. That was its intended objective.

Your essay is a review of the cuckolding fetish as a result of reading porn. Reading porn is a terrible way to understand anything. In the kink world, there is a saying along the lines of "your kink is not my kink, but it's ok anyway". I like the rule of "two consenting adult humans" doing whatever the hell they want, minus actual injury. I never understand people that get so damn indignant about a porn story on a porn web site. If you want to understand something, may I recommend actually studying the subject, and interviewing people involved instead of reading porn stories about it.

I agree with those who suggest that formulating opinions based on stories here is somewhat (meaning, "grossly") incomplete. At the very least, you're missing another category: a couple who finds sexual fulfillment - for BOTH PARTNERS - in a cuckolding relationship.

My wife has cuckolded me for almost exactly 20 years, most with the same man. I'm not her "meal ticket," and the three of us have tremendous respect for each other... except in the bedroom. I could go into the whole Alpha-male/beta male thing, but why can't you consider that this might just WORK for everyone?

Your wrote, > On paper cuckolding may well look to be a great fix for a female partner who is looking for an alternate external partner who may better sexual satisfy her. < Yet those who start for this reason usually don't end up well. It's when a couple decides to try it TOGETHER, communicates openly, discusses the inevitable problems that arise (as they do in every relationship) and always keeps their marriage as their #1 priority that this works well.

If the cuckold has masochistic tendencies, so what? If a loving couple realizes that one of them likes to be whipped (or peed on, or stripped naked in public, or any one of a thousand other things that turn some people on), and the partner can enjoy doing it, then where is the harm?

Here's a thought for you to consider: I am SO GRATEFUL to my wife for learning to enjoy sex with another man, and letting herself go with him because SHE likes it, and HE likes it, and I LIKE IT, TOO, that our love has deepened more than we ever thought possible over these 20 years (married over 35).

Humans are weird. Isn't it great when two members of the species find that each of their "weird" fits with the other's?

Anonymous

I do not know if you are one individual or several using the same moniker. I wish to address the comment made about using porn to explore aspects of human sexuality. You indicated that reading porn was a poor way of obtaining valid insights into human sexual relations, in this case cuckoldry. I appreciate your point of view, I must beg to differ with you. The use of sexual fantasies in the analysis of sexual behavior is not new under the sun. It has been used for several decades by many researchers, including Kinsey, Shere Hite and Nancy Friday. Their individual work in this field made extensive use of eliciting sexual fantasies from their respective survey sample participants. Their use of this methodology has held up well to considerable scrutiny.

Now I intended my contribution as nothing more than a way of helping myself understand aspects of the cuckoldry phenomenon better and hopefully to stimulate some thoughts and discussion. Despite your assertion, I believe that while the tales contributed to LW are in many cases whimsical fantasies conjured up by individuals for titilation they also provide very personal windows into human sexual beliefs and behaviors in the context of current space-time. When I read, I examine three things: what information the actual tale provides, the motives and skill level of the tale contributor, and lastly what effect the tale has upon me i.e. to what degree does the tale make me think about human sexuality. Sure a well crafted story that contains electrifying erotic content may be satisfactory "jerk-off" material, but for me I look for tales which also make me curious and cause me to think about my own beliefs and attitudes towards human sexual relationships.

Anonymous

I take your point about individuals to be free to experiment with any sexual fetish/kink. But you also stressed that the limit for you was injury to one or more parties. My question to you is this. What happens in the case of a "submissive" masochistic partner who craves emotional and physical pain inflicted by dominant sadists. Should an individual be permitted to consent to be flogged, maimed, tortured etc to the point of visual injury? Or death? Why do you draw the line as stated? It seems you want both bites of the cherry; on one hand you champion the freedom to any individual to experiment with fetishes, but on the other you argue for limitations as to how far such experimentation should go. Would you actively intervene to prevent someone who was intent on submitting themselves to be harmed by others?

I wasn’t going to weigh in again, but it’s such an interesting conversation, I feel compelled to do so. I feel like you are missing a very important element in the dynamic between Dom and sub, and “cuck” and “hotwife.” Namely, it is love.

To an outsider, it may seem cruel for a wife to humiliate, demean, belittle, and/or physically assault her husband. You have to understand, though, that this aspect of their relationship is confined to the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom, their relationship is as “normal” as any other. It’s the end result of a tremendous amount of conversation and communication. And it’s done as an expression of love between both partners.

As to the question of limits, any Dom/sub partnership will have a “safe word” to end any type of activity whenever one of the partners is uncomfortable or if any line is crossed. Again, this is all pre-arranged well ahead of time, and is all part of the open communication that is necessary for such a relationship to exist.

The same holds true of any type of marriage where extramarital fun is allowed. The communication between husband and wife has to be completely open and honest or their arrangement would never work.

I'm a Model 2 Cuckold. I was deeply in love with my wife but she was never in love with me. She needed me to give her a married woman status. She cuckold me after our first year of marriage. It was hell for me having another man fucking my wife but I loved her so much and I did not want to loose her. I was forced to share her. She had many lovers over the years. It took about twenty years of marriage before I came to accept my shame as a cuckold.

Looking back over the many years of marriage I now realize that I should have divorced her when she first cuckold me but I was so afraid of living alone with out her.

I didn't choose the cuckold life style. It was thrust upon me.

Your comments moved me, CuckoldGuy. You revealed a far greater capacity to keep loving than I could have done in similar circumstances. It is hard not to feel some resentment and even bitterness when contemplating the emotional investment over such a long period of time. Someone once gave me an analogy of hugging an individual who has no arms. No matter how much you hug, you will never be hugged back. But take some strength in the fact that you are not alone in your struggles with life's shit storms.

There are (at least) as many forms of cuckolding as there are couples. The dynamics you describe above are stereotypes that derive from the porn industry, not from reality (but in the modern world, 'reality' attempts to copy 'art'). Cuckolding, I'm sure, is as old as the human race, and the erotic energies that are built into it are archetypal; but the first description of it from an erotic viewpoint that I've read is in Chaucer (1300s).

You are right, of course, that a cuckold my not be aware of his wife's 'infidelity,' but the element that is common through most cuckold relationships is the husband's humiliation, and for this to be so, he has to know—if not during the act, then after. (The word itself derives from the female cuckoo, who lays her eggs in other birds' [of a different species] nest, and leaves it for that other bird couple to raise. So the comparison is symbolic, not literal—the idea of 'laying your egg in a stranger's nest.')

The humiliation, at its core, harks back to an ancient (perhaps prehistoric) time when male dominance was not the basis of the social structure, and women were free to choose their partners at will. As such, the comparatively modern woman is reenacting an ancient goddess role. The more publicly she does this, the greater her husband's emasculation. So the cuckold's humiliation derives from the fact that he is not properly living up the more recent role of the dominant male. Hence, archetypally, his humiliation is based less on the wife or her playmates, and what they might say, but instead on what the people around him might think of him for not living up to his proper 'dominant husband' role.There are medieval references to the cuckold being publicly humiliated, or even paraded through town wearing 'the cuckold's horns.'

Historically, cuckoldry appears to have always been the subject of a great deal of ribald humor for the witnesses, and to be imbued with sexual energy for them, not to mention for the wife and her consort(s). But the ways in which it has become fetishized for the cuckold himself are more obscure, and seem to be more a study of psychology than of history.

I know I'm not answering any of your concerns directly (maybe, indirectly?) but I will tackle this one:

> If cuckolding is the preferred lifestyle option, why on earth would partners need to commit to a monogamous relationship in the first place?

—Because cuckolding specifically, not random promiscuity, is the fetish. Some women crave this particular form of power, and/or they crave sexual freedom within the security of a marriage or a well-established relationship. And some men crave a particular form of humiliation that can only be gratified through the energy of this archetype. Note that there's a great deal of confused blurring between the terms 'cuckold' and 'hot wife.' To my mind, cuckoldry almost by definition implies the humiliation for the husband, even though he is also aroused by it. 'Hot wife,' on the other hand, generally describes a situation where the husband is in no way humiliated. In fact, he may find it a real ego trip ("See how sexy my wife is?"), or he may even be the dominant partner, in effect pimping out his wife to others. Very different from cuckolding.

I hope this helps in some way.

If one were to go by this site he or she would believe that half of all couples are in cuckold or wife sharing situations. I think that the nature of this site really leads to this misperception. While infidelity and affairs are pretty wide spread, I believe that only a tiny minority involve these kinks.

I don't condemn anyone's sexual interests, up to a point. I even enjoy some of the stories, but this whole "cucking is great/cucking is evil" debate is really tedious.

Youre writing as if these are permanent arrangements that never develop beyond the superficial. This kink often has aspects of triad arrangements, or swinging -- eit

everyone can be mutually supportive outside of "scenes," or the bull understands that his involvement is limited to casual sex.

You're assuming the fantasy overrides the entire dynamic of a relationship instead of acknowledging a healthy relationship that enables expression of fantasy. How many D/s couples do you know of that maintain roles 24/7 and arent just abuse? Sometimes its just a way to include a man's bisexuality without forcing him to admit things he feels are super gay. Or a couple discovers they are both submissive and occasionally outsource the dominant dick.

For the vast majority of people it's just a fun variation on threesome that lets people -- especially the cuck -- get relief from the impossible standards of masculinity, whether that involves suspending autonomy or adopting a corrupt feminine role through sissification.

You cant supplement with an anecdote where someone feels genuinely abused in cuckolding and then completely dismiss the guys who are enthusiastic about sucking some bull dick or source honest erotic climax in running some errands wifey is being fucked to incoherence. If you like it and plan it yourself, writing stories for Literotica or chatting with other cuck fetishists, you're not a victim.

If you want real questions: why is raceplay so prevalent in cuckolding? And isnt sissy transvestism as erotic humiliation an indirect, but complete dismissal of men who genuinely enjoy transvestism in and of itself?

Love and sex are tow different things. I can still love my wife and watch her enjoy herself sexually with another man or men. Why should she be relegated to only have me. She should experience other men of all races. My wife had no sexual experience prior to our marriage. I always wanted her to have all she never had. Is that not true love? I never felt humiliated. I was proud of her. I loved watching her blow some guys mind. And watching her orgasm with a strangers cock.

I so wAnt my wife to cuckold me. She just isn’t into it though.

You missed one aspect of cuckolding, the one were the submissive male and his Goddess like bi-male sex. My wife and i are completely monauganus right now but we both love the idea of cuckolding but with both of us participating fully. Our 3 rd or 4th partners would have to be okay with some bi-sexual play or we do not play at all, for us it's about the sexual pleasure, there's no humiliation in any way.

Let's begin with your definition, which is uninformed and lacking. In modern usage, a "cuckold" is a married man who's wife has sex with other men and humiliates him in the process. A husband who is not humiliated is referred to as a 'stag' (as in 'stag/vixen couple,' or a 'hot-husband.' The latter definition, where the husband is not humiliate, makes up the vast majority of hotwife couples.

You then go on to list why a woman would choose a partner other than her husband. Every reason you give belittles the husband. You do not allow for the possibility that the woman simply enjoys the company of the other man, he makes her feel good.

In your Model 1, you don't allow for an MFM threesome, where both the husband and the other man pleasure the wife simultaneously or serially, with (usually) no bi interaction between the two men.

I'm not sure where you get your ideas, but it appears to me you've not had a positive relationship with a hotwife. Rather than research your thesis, you rely on a phrase such as, "My thoughts and opinions on the cuckolding phenomenon in modern relationships have developed from just intellectual considerations."

Come to the real world, and write about that . . .

As someone who had many threesums, with my wife and was then asked to let her cuckold me. I said no way in hell, the threesums were fun because we did it together as a couple. We both decided what we would do and with whom.

When she tried to flip the script and make me be nothing but a witness to her fun. Where she could go on dates and have sex with whoever she pleased. While I got to sit home and wonder when she would catch feelings or if she would even come home. I was not willing to be the third wheel in my own marriage.

The sad part was she didn't take no for an answer and about a year later I caught her cheating. As I'm sure you can guess, we are divorced.

The problem with these stories and many of the podcasts that have sprung up is they never tell the whole story. They tell women they can have there cake and eat it to but they never explain what the man gets.

From my perspective all he gets, is pain and humiliation and chances are a divorce. These podcasts never tell the part where the wife has lost all respect for her husband. They don't explain that chances are she will develop feelings for one of her so called bulls. They never quite tell you the truth and the truth is the man will get fucked but he won't get kissed. If you do this you will regret it.

As someone who had many threesums, with my wife and was then asked to let her cuckold me. I said no way in hell, the threesums were fun because we did it together as a couple. We both decided what we would do and with whom.

When she tried to flip the script and make me be nothing but a witness to her fun. Where she could go on dates and have sex with whoever she pleased. While I got to sit home and wonder when she would catch feelings or if she would even come home. I was not willing to be the third wheel in my own marriage.

The sad part was she didn't take no for an answer and about a year later I caught her cheating. As I'm sure you can guess, we are divorced.

The problem with these stories and many of the podcasts that have sprung up is they never tell the whole story. They tell women they can have there cake and eat it to but they never explain what the man gets.

From my perspective all he gets, is pain and humiliation and chances are a divorce. These podcasts never tell the part where the wife has lost all respect for her husband. They don't explain that chances are she will develop feelings for one of her so called bulls. They never quite tell you the truth and the truth is the man will get fucked but he won't get kissed. If you do this you will regret it.