by InoueMegumi
While the story may be great there are too many grammatical and spelling errors in your text. Just in the first five lines I stumbled over 8 mistakes.
And while everyone makes a mistake now and then, these are just too many and they seriously impact the readability of your text. Please, have someone proofread your text. You would do your readers a great favour.
Ahh this got me so hot & then it just ended! Please don't make us wait long to see what Uncle Ralph will do with our sweet innocent little boy!