All Comments on 'Topless Jen Ch. 01'

I am certain that you could have said everything you did in your five pages in just one well written page. The repetition seems nearly endless. How many times did you tell us that Jen didn't want to be bottomless, or that Crystal wasn't comfortable going topless. In addition, you had many typos, and there are some words you just don't know. For example, "ill" means sick; it has the same root as illness. The word you want is "I'll."

There's a similar problem with punctuation and grammar. In a way, it's not your fault; a lot of young people these days have not had adequate educational experiences when it comes to writing. One way to fix that is to visit your library. I think almost any librarian would be glad to help you with writing. After all, anyone who writes well wishes that everyone else did so as well. You might be a little embarrassed to show her an erotic story, but maybe she'll decide to go to a topless beach with you after she helps you.

One last thing. Go to this page: www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/errors.html#errors. It has hundreds of examples of frequently confused words and which ones to use when. It is also incredibly easy to read, and I guarantee it will be helpful.

If you plan to continue writing, this is extremely important.

Thanks for reading.

really liked your story

can't wait to read the next parts

I loved this story and I'd like to see more of it. Don't let the haters get on you for spelling and grammer, it'll come easier next time. But it was definently a good story. Can't wait to read more of Jen's adventures.

I love Jen and her topless adventures. I can't wait to read the next part.

I'm pretty sure that you have some things for afterwards, but is there anything for before to show how she came to like being topless? That would be cool as well. Hope you have something else coming out soon.

I really like this story and I'm looking forward to tomorrow's story.

Great story! Are you ever going to continue it?

Just a few scattered-brain American girls flashing their bits. And the themes just kept repeating and repeating and ZZzzzzzzz