All Comments on 'Tru Love Ch. 01'

why didn't you tell us what they had the falling out about it is very important to the story. if it was something real bad then they would never get back together if it was a missunderstanding then they might but we need to know. as this is written it is unrealistic and should be in the fantacy area way to many holes and unsaid stuff that we are suposed to either ignore or figure out for ourselves which is not the way to write a story get an editor and do a rewrite and never post a story like this and never post a story without going through an editor first

Too quick getting it on, but once he did why didn't he cum inside her? As someone who's been with my sister, I know it is impossible to pull out once you get close to cumming inside a sibling!

Two anonymous comments. How brave of you both. While I accept the criticism of the first comment, Its a matter of opinion and incidently, thats exactly the way it happened the first time with my sister, the second comment is nonsense.

How dare you tell me to use an editor when youve written a comment entirely devoid of any punctuation. If you dont like the story then fair enough, dont read it but dont tell me how to write or what section my story should be in. Its not your business to tell me my true story should be in the fantasy section. Learn to spell and then give others your ill founded criticism you simpleton.

and shut the fuck up cunt

I enjoyed reading chapter 1 & I hope you will continue to write more of it soon.

time to start banning these egotistical writers that think their shit doesn't stink. this was nothing more than a first draft that no writer with half a brain would ever post. and she has the gall to bash the readers for telling her it stinks. delete this trash and either run it through a GOOD EDITOR after rewriting it or just stop writing. if you can't take criticism gracefully you shouldn't be writing and posting here. as said by others there plot holes big enough to drive a semi through your nothing but a halfassed hack.

this is nothing but a first draft that needs a total rewrite by A GOOD WRITER THAT KNOWS ENOUGH TO USE A GOOD EDITOR BEFORE POSTING. as is this never should have been posted delete at once and do it right or not at all. wheres the background and character development there are plot hole enough to sink a battle ship and you had the nerve to post it then bitch at the readers for complaining. you need serious help both with your writing and mentally as well.