Trying To Do The Decent Thing

This time I let her go more easily mainly because I had provided myself with ammunition for the night. Some weeks previously mistaking the address of a property I was to handle, I wandered into a back-street shop with pornographic videos lining the walls. I had now been back and paid fifteen pounds for a film that I hoped might be stronger than the TV offering. While choosing my video, I was intrigued when someone paid £50 for a wrapped cartridge produced from under the counter after saying the code word ' Amsterdam'. I resolved that on my next visit, this was something to investigate.

I had paid my cash for very little because my video turned little better than the TV but this convinced me that the under the counter stuff had to be what I was after. Some three weeks later Adele said, "I wish that I hadn't been greedy and had stuck to three months because I would be going to stay with Carla this Friday. There is a famous rap singer on at the club and now I am going to miss him."

It was partly thoughts of a really good video that prompted me to tell her that she could go anyway. The porn video cost me £60 but I felt that it was worth every penny. I could not believe the cock sizes, I could not believe the women and I couldn't believe the things that they did. I watched it through three times and could not leave my nob alone for a second. Without real shame I admit that the knowledge that Adele was engaging in similar activity enhanced my depraved pleasure.

Over the following months my moral disintegration continued. To understand this I must talk about marital sex. I had never been pre-occupied with sex, feeling it to be just something that you did at the appropriate time. Even in bed I preferred the foreplay, the sucking and squeezing to the actual act of vaginal penetration and I got more pleasure before my vasectomy when we had indulged in a preponderance of oral and anal activity. To me, the act of sticking my dick inside her twat was an anti climax. It was the traditional finale but I always felt it left something to be desired. Now I thought of sex constantly and Adele gave me more physical sensation than at any time in our marriage. She brought me off a lot with her hand but if you are thinking in terms of just a wrist job you are mistaken. What Adele did with her talented fingers had less comparison to a wank than a gourmet meal has to a pot noodle. I felt more alive than at any time in my life.

My wife's nights away came back to the old fortnightly regularity but I did attempt to make one more stand and that came when Adele said that she wanted to take Paul to London for a weekend to see his father.

"That was not the agreement," I insisted. "Errol can see Paul as much as he likes but it has got to be in this house."

"I know that is what he agreed but it's not really fair," she argued. "Errol is happy for Paul to be brought up in a white family and call you Dad but he would like him to at least be exposed to his West Indian heritage and culture. Besides which, he can only get to this country for a short time and it is a long way for him to travel up here for just a few hours. It would be nice if he could play with Paul in a relaxed situation and he can't really do that here even though you do tactfully make yourself scarce for a while."

Against such inescapable logic I had no other option. Neither of us mentioned how she would spend the two nights but she returned looking exceedingly well fucked and contented - much more so in fact than after nights at Carla's when I suspected she again had at least a pair rampant males satisfying her needs. There were two further London weekends and towards the end of the year I even allowed Adele to take Paul to Jamaica for two weeks. For that same fortnight, I treated my kids to Disneyland in Florida, the fact that her lover was paying my wife's expenses for her holiday making this possible.

You may wonder why I do not commit my own revenge infidelities or maybe you believe that it is inadequacy or fear of rejection that prevents me. The truth is that Adele is all that I want and it is just my misfortune that she discovered she requires others beside myself to satisfy her needs.

At one point, the video I that had purchased at my back street shop featured nothing except black men with white women with just the odd reverse combination. It was a revelation, allowing me to exactly picture Adele in her separate existence from me. None of the previous porno films had excited me half as much and from then on I bought only videos with the same theme. These were in theory were more expensive but by then, as a regular customer I was getting discount and given cash back on those I returned - so it actually worked out cheaper.

It is human nature to adapt, compromise, assimilate new ideas and even derive a vicarious pleasure from what started as pain. When Adele returned from her holiday she stated that she no longer needed her nights in her friends flat as long as I continued to allow her to go with Errol whenever he was in the country. "If it still bothers you I will give the others a miss from now on," she said.

Her words filled me with panic because by then I think that I looked forward to those Friday nights more avidly than she. Thankfully I think she put my encouragement for her to continue as another sign of my easygoing nature rather than suspecting that I was, mentally at least, deeply involved in her activities.

There was a thought that had been bobbing about in my head for quite a while and the opportunity arose to bring it out into the open. As she was about to leave one Friday evening I said, "As the kids are away at your parents this weekend, what about you coming home a bit earlier tomorrow morning and slipping into bed with me for an hour or two?"

Adele shook her head. "Sorry love. I get home as soon as I can anyway - I need to take a nice long shower to clean myself up before I come back to you."

I took a deep breath. "There's no need," I said.