All Comments on 'Twinning'

This made no sense. The dialouge was ridiculous. The descriptions were awful. And the sex scene had no details. It was not the least bit sexy. Sorry

Congratulations, if your goal was to make people nauseous.

Please do NOT write chapter 2

Please do not write chapter 2. The theme was good but it belongs in the Gay section. Just tell us the story, use regular words. You should read some of the stories in Literotica and use them as an example as to how you should write a story. If you can't do that, please don't quit your day job. Sorry! some people are not meant to write stories maybe your one of them?

Once in a while I like to read a story that has a low rating. Mostly to see why it was rated that way. I started reading and couldn't make it through the short one page story. I don't normally pay much attention to a occasional misspelled work or run on sentence. How ever here, it was much more than minor grammatical errors. There was nothing here that captivated me as it seems others noticed as well. The essence of a good story sucks you in and leaves you wanting more. While I do like reading here because I can read from many different people who can bring different creativity and ideas to a story, I understand that they are probably not all new york times best seller authors. That being said your story seemed to be more like scattered thoughts. You lack description as well as the flow of one thing to another. That transition from scene to scene and the like makes a story smooth. This was as smooth as sandpaper condoms. I would really like to see you succeed if your going to post story's here, therefore I would say pick your topics of interest then go and read some of the hall of fame submissions in those categories. This will demonstrate where people expect you to be writing at. It will also show you how to organize your ideas to put them on the screen so they make sense. I would also say use traditional language. To many people do not understand leet speak or Internet acronyms like LOL, OMG. They have no place in a story because they are no official words recognized around the world. If you need to look a work up on urban dictionary then don't use it.

So, if they were sisters I presume you would have wanted this to be in Lesbian, right?

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They're brothers. That's incest. Deal with it.

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As for another chapter. "I will write chapter two on request."

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If you have that so little faith in your own story, don't bother.

*shrugs* made me cum (I'm 15 y/o female)

This didn't do anything but turn me off. Please don't write another chapter.

Really bad. And I get soooo tired of 9 inch cocks with BASEBALL SIZED balls?

And this isn't just incest, these guys are so gay.

Hottest story I've read in a long time. Kept me wanting more I want a chapter two.

Wow. I'm not sure what gave you the indication that I was trying to write something even close to sexy. It is unfathomable to me. The goal was to spoof Literotica stories as an inside joke for some friends. Anyone who came, I mean, it's flattering for sure, but I feel like I need to clarify that this was not my intention. These comments made my night, guys.

I mean keep it going it has potenial for a joke story

So you and your friends sat around together came up with the idea and wrote it? Sounds pretty gay to me. You know, the absurd meaning of the word. Lay off the meth.

No, I've just read enough of these stories and know the format. As gay as my friends are, it was just me who wrote it. It just follows two of my friends. We have an odd sense of humor.

This was horrible. I mean, a shit and corn covered cock? Ew. Yeah, it may happen in real life, but no. Just. Don't. And Matt masturbates when he's upset? While he cries? Okay, that's at least semi-believable, maybe he's timid. But, then he rapes him?! With no lube, a virgin hole cannot take such a huge penis at once. Maybe if they slowly entered, but otherwise, no. And before the non-hot sex, in the computer lab, Goo shouldn't have been able to see Matt's asshole like that unless his pants were down and his cheeks spread. Fucking hell. This was a bloody disaster. If you want to write erotica, do it on that fucking website Wattpad. In fact, write it down on looseleaf, and send it to someone's mum. If this was funny to you, surely that will be too.

😂

Move to gay

I'm certain you would feel that if this was about sisters it should be in lesbian and not incest, right?

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Right?

Poorly written, at times difficult to follow - for example, why did he go to his room, why did he then come to his brother's? - and lacking in credibility.

Sorry that was just bad

This story was so confusing like what the fuck did any of it mean

Do yourself a favour. Don't read it!!

The author must be like a crack head or something

Not a san,,,,

Gross and unreadable