Two Thousand and Ten Ch. 01

The raucous group of people gathered around the karaoke machine cheered as the song's harmonica solo kicked in.

Into the saloon bar of The Coopers Arms walked a couple of women. Lindi recognised them straight away and waved at them to beckon them over to their table.

"Hi, I'm Alison," the redheaded woman said as she introduced herself to Peter, "we spoke on the phone earlier. And this is Becky - my partner."

"Hi." Becky said.

"Partners eh?" Peter said as handshakes were exchanged, "Business or pleasure?"

Lindi cringed at her friend's words but was relieved to see that the couple appeared to be more amused than offended.

"Definitely pleasure!" Becky replied with a wide grin, "We've been together for over ten years."

"Oooh, lesbians!" Peter smiled, "How exotic - I didn't know sleepy little Westborough had a gay community, I thought all the gay folk in Sussex lived in Brighton."

The city of Brighton & Hove is well renowned for being the epicentre of the gay community on the south coast. It has its own gay pride events and boasts the largest gay community in southern England outside of London.

"Well, we used to live in Brighton but we prefer it here. It's quieter and there's less light pollution." Alison said.

"Light pollution?" Lindi said.

"Alison's a keen amateur astronomer." Becky explained, "There's too much light pollution from the streetlights in Brighton in order to be able to see the stars properly."

"Sounds like a fascinating pastime." Lindi said.

"Anyway," Peter said, "where are my manners? Can I get the two of you a drink?"

"I'll have a lager, thanks." Alison said.

"Gin and tonic for me please." Becky added.

Peter went up to the bar to order the drinks.

"So - what do you think of him?" Lindi asked when Peter was out of earshot.

"He seems nice enough." Becky observed.

"He looks a lot different when he's not dressed up as a tiger!" Alison chuckled.

In the corner of the bar, the talentless karaoke singer had finished destroying 'Karma Chameleon' and had handed the microphone to one of his accomplices who then launched into a tortured rendition of Queen's 'I want to break free'.

"Listen, it's too noisy in here." Peter said as he returned to the table with the drinks, "We'll go into the restaurant next door where it'll be quieter."

The three women agreed and took their drinks with them to the room next door.

The Coopers Arms had, as was fairly common in English pubs, several different rooms. Since the advent of pub cuisine in the 1980's it was not unusual for pubs to have a restaurant area adjacent to the main bar. The group took a place at a table in the corner. The restaurant area was deserted, save for a couple at a table in the opposite corner of the room. Finally, they could hear themselves think.

"So, I understand that you require me for my services." Peter said, getting straight down to business.

"Yes, um... Becky and I would like you to um... do us a really, really big, um... favour for us." Alison began.

"And when we say big, we mean absolutely massive." Becky added.

"Well I'm certainly intrigued." Peter said, "But what is it? I've been wracking my brain all day trying to think what you need me for."

"Well..." Alison said nervously, "to cut a long story short, Becky and I saw you at the party and we both agreed that you looked like a really nice guy."

"Especially in that tiger costume!" Becky added.

"And we kind of agreed that you would be perfect." Alison said.

"Perfect for what?" Peter said.

"Perfect to... um..." Alison stuttered nervously, "To kind of... y'know... help us to..."

"We want you to father a child for us." Becky blurted.

"You... you want me to what?!?!?" Peter exclaimed in disbelief.

"We'd love it if you'd be willing to donate your umm... sperm... to help us to conceive." Becky said formally, "Your friend here gave us a glowing character reference and we pretty much decided then and there that you would be the perfect choice."

"A glowing character reference?" Peter said aghast, "Wait a minute, were you in on this Lindi?"

"Yes," Lindi admitted, "but I told them that it would be best if they asked you themselves, in person."

"Why me??" Peter said.

"Well, call it women's intuition but we both have a good feeling about you." Alison said, "I mean, you're good looking - for a man - and Lindi tells us that you are the nicest and most considerate man she knows and that you look after yourself."

"I hope the two of you realise the gravity of what it is you're asking me to do.' Peter said gravely.

"Of course," Alison said, "and we wouldn't dream of taking advantage of you. One of the reasons we'd like someone local to be the father of our child is so that he can be as involved or uninvolved as he wants and both of us agree that it's healthy for a child to have a good male role model in their life."

"Yes, but what about the bloody Child Support Agency?" Peter cautioned, "I don't want to be paying thousands of pounds every year for a child that the two of you will be raising without me."

"We had thought about that." Becky said, "We've decided to draw up a contract that states that you would be merely donating your sperm to us and that we don't wish to hold you financially responsible for our child in any way."

"We're both in well-paid jobs so we wouldn't need any extra support anyway." Alison added.

"Yeah, but try telling that to the CSA," Peter said, "those bastards would hunt me down no matter what, contract or no contract!"

"Well, if that happens," Alison said, "we'll just reimburse you for whatever the CSA makes you pay us. Believe me, we don't want any of this to cost you a penny - all we want is your y'know... sperm."

"We'll be happy to pay you for your erm... services." Becky said, "We could pay you £5,000 upon successful fertilisation. Alison has agreed to carry the baby since she works from home."

"So," Alison said, "will you at least think about it?"

Peter weighed up the pros and cons in his mind. He sighed heavily.

"Alright, I'll think about it." Peter said, "but I need to know more about you before I make a decision. You asked Lindi for a character reference for me, so I want at least a couple of character references for you two."

"Of course, anything you want." Alison said.

"Just um... have them emailed to me." Peter said as he stood up and drained his glass, "Lindi will give you my address. Now if you'll forgive me... I... I need to try and get my head around this."

And with that he walked away leaving the three women behind.

Saturday, January 16th 2010 - 8:48pm

Peter walked slowly through the quiet streets of the town. He made his way to the seafront - he had a lot of thinking to do and he always did his best thinking while he strolled along the promenade.

Why on earth had Lindi just casually agreed to allow these two women to ask such a huge thing of him? How could she do this to him?

Peter gazed out to sea to the twinkling lights of ships in the distance as they plied their way up the English Channel. Maybe he was being a little hard on Lindi - she hadn't actually agreed to anything on his behalf. All she had done was to merely put him in contact with the lesbian couple. It was he who had made the call and arranged to meet them. It was just that not mentioning the nature of the favour they were asking of him when she knew all along what it was, felt like a little betrayal.

And what did he actually think of the idea of donating his sperm to them? His answer surprised even himself. He didn't mind the idea at all, not in principle anyway. He was even flattered a little that out of all the men in Westborough-on-sea, out of all the men in the world for that matter, they had chosen him to be the father of their baby.

And, if he agreed to it all, would he want to be a part of the child's life? Absolutely, he decided - he could not argue against the logic that a child, even one raised by two women, needed its father in its life even if only as an occasional visitor.

He felt the vibration in his pocket before the familiar ringtone of his phone began to chirp. He took his phone out of his pocket, the caller ID displayed 'Lindi mobile'.

"Hey Lin." He answered simply.

"Peter, are you alright?" Lindi asked, "It's just that you left rather abruptly - Becky and Alison were afraid they'd offended you."

"Well, it's not every day I get asked to donate my sperm to a couple of lesbians." Peter said as he walked along the seafront.

An elderly couple walking in the opposite direction gasped audibly, obviously startled at hearing Peter's almost casual remark about his semen.

"I just needed a bit of space to gather my thoughts." He continued with a sigh.

"Where are you now?"

"Just ambling along the seafront really."

"If you need to talk about it you know where you can find me, okay babe. I'm heading back home now."

"You could've at least warned me that they would be asking something that big of me! I thought they wanted me to... I dunno... help them move some furniture around or something." Peter said with a hint of anger in his voice.

"I'm sorry!" Lindi said as apologetically as she could, "I just thought that since what they were asking of you is such a big and very personal thing, it would be better coming from them rather than from me. I mean what else was I supposed to do? Just casually mention to you in passing that a couple of lesbians we've barely met before want you to wank yourself off into a little plastic pot so that they can use you to father a child for them?"

"Of course not." Peter sighed, "I'm sorry, I'm just not thinking straight at the moment."

"At least you are thinking," Lindi said, "that's got to be a start."

"You want to know my gut feeling about all this?" Peter said.

"Yes?"

"I think I would like to help them." Peter said, "As long as they check out of course."

"Well that's... wonderful!" Lindi said, "I'm sure the character references will be fine. Oh, and I made sure to tell them in no uncertain terms that if either of them hurt you in any way they'll have me to deal with. Hell hath no fury than a Lindi scorned!"

"I can believe that." Peter said, "I remember when you kicked that kid Shaun that was bullying me at school. Right in his bollocks - he couldn't walk right for a week."

"Yeah, well you were looking out for me that time I caught my ex-boyfriend fucking that slapper Tamara. I was glad to see the back of him. That's why we're friends right? We look out for each other, after all, we're all we've got."

That much was true. Among the many things that Peter and Lindi had in common was that they had very little in the way of family. Both were only children so there were no brothers or sisters in their lives.

Lindi's father Geoff had run out on her mother when Lindi was only two years old. Her mother had never been the same since then. Lindi's mother Sarah eventually succumbed to liver failure brought on by alcoholism when Lindi was 19.

Peter's early years were equally tragic. His parents, Charles and Miranda were well known in the town for being adventurous types. They were keen mountaineers and would often travel around Europe climbing mountains in the Alps and the Pyrenees. However, one tragic day whilst climbing Sgurr Alasdair, a mountain in the Cuillin range on the Isle of Skye in Scotland, the weather had deteriorated to such an extent that they lost their way amid the jagged rocks. The storm on the bleak mountain raged for several days, which thwarted any rescue attempts. Their bodies were found five days later. They were found huddled together, attempting to share bodily warmth in a desperate and ultimately futile bid to stay alive long enough to be found. Peter was only six years old at time. He had been sent to his Aunt Paula and Uncle Trevor to live and for the rest of his childhood he was reasonably happy considering his terrible loss. Eventually however, Trevor died in 1996, with Paula passing away in 2005.

Sure, both Lindi and Peter had cousins and other aunts and uncles but they were all pretty much spread out over the four corners of the world and they rarely, if ever, saw any of them. It was their collective experiences of misfortune that united Peter and Lindi. They were the closest thing to brother and sister it was possible to be. They loved each other, but they weren't in love with each other.

"Yeah, we gotta look after us - you and me against the world right?" Peter said, "Anyway, I'm starving - I'm going to swing by the chippy and grab myself some fish and chips on the way home. I'll see you later. Bye."

"Bye." Lindi said.

Thursday, January 21st 2010 - 6:13pm

Peter checked his email. His eye was drawn to an email from Alison. The subject line read simply 'character references'. He opened it with a single click.

Hi Peter,

I hope we didn't scare you off the other night! Anyway, please find attached the character references for Becky and myself that you asked for. I hope that you will find them satisfactory. Once you have had a chance to go over them and had a good think about it all, please could you let us know what your final decision is. Becky and I are so excited about having a baby and we both know that you'd be a great dad - if that's what you'd like of course.

We'll be eagerly waiting for your decision. Even if you decide not to help us, we'd both like to say thank you for at least giving it some thought.

Much love,

Alison

At the top of the message there were a number of Word documents attached. Peter clicked on the first one and read it.

Monday, January 24th 2010 - 7:10pm

The bar of The Coopers Arms was much quieter this evening. Instead of the jarring, off-key warbling of karaoke night, the bar was populated by drinkers just quietly enjoying the cosy confines of the pub with its roaring log fire and friendly atmosphere, which was made even cosier and more inviting by the awful weather outside.

Alison and Becky stood up as Peter and Lindi approached their table, shaking off their rain-spattered coats. They exchanged brief hugs of greeting and they sat down together. Having reached a decision, Peter had arranged to meet the lesbian couple that evening to impart his news.

"I suppose I should just come out and say it." Peter said, "I've read your character references and I've thought about it all weekend and I've decided..."

He paused for effect.

"That I would like to help you."

There was a second brief pause of silence as Peter let the news sink in.

"Really??!!" Alison said excitedly.

"Really." Peter confirmed.

"O. M. G! Thank you so, so much!!" Becky exclaimed gleefully. Both women stood up and hugged Peter tightly.

"We promise you we'll be the best mums a child could possibly have." Alison said as she wiped a tear from her eye.

"And I'll promise you that I will be the best dad I can be - well, as much of a dad that you'll let me be." Peter said as he disengaged from the women's embrace.

"Are you kidding? Of course we want you to be more than just the biological father - we want our child to have a proper dad. You'll just be a dad that doesn't live with us, that's all." Becky said.

"So that's settled then." Lindi said brightly.

"And I think this calls for a bottle of champagne!" Alison said as she stood up and went over to the bar.

She returned a couple of minutes later carrying a tray upon which was a bottle of Moët et Chandon and four champagne flutes. She removed the foil, popped the cork with a brief and muted cheer and then poured out the fizz into the flutes. Their glasses charged, the four of them raised a toast to their arrangement.

After draining her glass, Lindi raised a valid point.

"So... what happens now?"

"Well, I think the first thing to do is for Peter to go and have a sperm count." Alison said, "By my reckoning we should try and 'do the deed' by late February. I've been tracking my periods for some time and have made a few calculations. With a bit of luck I reckon I'll be ovulating around the end of February. So that should give you at least a couple of weeks for you to organise a sperm count and a physical just to make sure you're as fit and healthy as Lindi says you are."

Arrangements were made and dates were set. The practicalities of the agreement were discussed at length. By the time the group disbanded it was almost closing time.

Saturday, February 6th 2010 - 9:27am

Today is going to be a busy and potentially stressful day, Peter thought to himself. Following their meeting at the pub, Peter had agreed to undergo a sexual health check, a medical checkup and a full sperm count. Unable to spare the time off work, he had to schedule all three appointments on a single Saturday.

He sat nervously awaiting the first of his three appointments. The waiting room of the sexual health clinic at the Brighton Royal Infirmary was only sparsely populated that morning, there being only three other people present apart from the young woman at the reception desk. One of the three other people was Lindi who had agreed, at Peter's request, to come along and provide moral support and also to drive him to his various appointments.

"Thanks for coming along." Peter said, "I know asking you to be here while I... Y'know... have all these tests done is a bit weird, but I really appreciate your support."

"Hey, what are friends for eh?" Lindi said as she clasped Peter's hand in hers, "Just as long as I don't have to go in there with you. You know how squeamish I get about medical stuff."

The walls of the waiting room were covered in posters warning of the various sexual ailments that the clinic dealt with. 'Chlamydia Aware', one of them read, 'Herpes - know the facts' read another. On a table opposite where Lindi and Peter sat was a rack of leaflets bearing information about Syphilis, Hepatitis, Gonorrhea and HIV.

A white-coated man entered the waiting room and called Peter's name. Peter stood up and walked towards him.

"Good morning Peter, I'm Dr Grayling - I'll be conducting yerr examination this morning."

Dr Grayling spoke in a kindly manner with a distinctive Scottish accent. His thinning hair was greying at the temples and his face bore the over-friendly expression of a doctor trying his best to put his patient at ease. He beckoned Peter to follow him. They walked along a short corridor with several doors on either side. Dr Grayling stopped and opened the door marked 'Examination Room 5' and went inside. The room was very spartan in appearance; there was a desk with a computer in one corner but the room was dominated by an examination bed, with sturdy-looking stirrups in the centre of the room. In one corner there was a door and various pictures and diagrams of male and female reproductive anatomy decorated the walls.

"Now, this is a full examination and, as I'm sure you'll be aware, I will need full access to your private parts. But it should only take a few minutes," the good doctor explained, "first I need tae take a wee blood sample tae test for HIV, Hepatitis and one or two other wee nasties, then I need tae examine yerr penis and yerr testicles for any abnormalities or lesions. Then I need you tae provide a urine sample so that I can run a few lab tests and then I need tae take a swab from yerr urethra. Any questions?"

"Does it hurt? The urethra swab thingy." Peter asked.

"Well, you may feel a wee bit o' discomfort, but it only takes a few seconds tae do." Dr Grayling said. His approach to doctor/patient relations was always to be as open and honest as he could.