Ultragirl Ch. 01

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"I know he's a hard ass, Ultra, but he does mean well," commented Thrasher as she slipped down into another one of the metallic chairs.

"I know, I know," Ultragirl shook her head while waving her hands," I just wish he could trust me more. All I've wanted to be while I was growing up was to become a hero like him. But he wouldn't let me do it unless I learned how to fight and use my powers properly. So, I worked hard all those years in Skylaria, like he asked me to. I didn't get to go to a normal school. I grew up there, learning how to use my powers, until Warmaiden became satisfied that I was ready. But he still won't let me try without supervision. To the Legion, I'm still just a young inexperienced sidekick. So, I'm stuck, having to wait until he's able to let me patrol with him or Warmaiden."

"Well, you are still new to it all, right?" asked Recharge," Just give it time."

"I don't want to 'just give it time'," Ultragirl's face flared heatedly." Months, years of my life just go by. But nothing changes."

Heck, he won't even let me do normal things. Like try out some of these fashions," she breathed, pointing at discarded magazine," Or let me try drinking a can of beer. I want to go out on date!"

Recharge scratched his cheek, scanning Ultragirl as she ranted. His eyes darted away from her face, down to her crossed thighs and then slowly up to the hem of her gold skirt. The front of it was just high enough to reveal a bit of blue tights covering the section above her thighs. He followed the hem of the gold skirt as it slink along her skin until meeting the chair, then traced the outline of her upper thigh that pushed down on the leather chair. He realized then what he was doing and quickly darted his eyes.

"Is that so, huh?," his voice lowly coughed out.

"What? You've never dated?!," Thrasher gripped the armrests, pulling back in surprise, "But you're twenty seven. That makes no sense!"

"That's what I mean. I'm treated like a kid!," Ultragirl fumed.

"Well even so," Thrasher trailed.

"I'm a twenty-seven year old college girl, enrolled in her first year, with superhuman strength, unbreakable skin and bones, the ability to fly and I can shoot lasers from my eyes," Ultragirl vehemently listed, pointing toward her own eyeballs for emphasis.

"But you can't date," Thrasher mused.

"Nope," Ultragirl shook her head, her long blonde hair swaying against her shoulder.

"So you've never," Thrasher asked curiously.

"Never what?" Ultragirl questioned back.

Recharge perked up his hearing and scanned both Thrasher and Ultragirl. This conversation was starting to take a turn that was making him uncomfortable.

"Been with a guy," she finished her question.

Ultragirl noticeably flushed at her cheeks and shook her head no.

"Not even kissed?" Thrasher continued her interrogation.

Recharge shifted his stance.

Ultragirl also shifted a little, uncrossing her legs to place her palms down on her gold pleated skirt. She turned her head away from Thrasher, instead giving Recharge a glance. She realized that he wore his uniform very tightly and that his physique spoke from underneath the green tights. She eyed his waist for a brief second before answering.

"I spent fifteen years in Skylaria. They don't have men there," Ultragirl flatly informed as she tightened her palms.

"Wow" Thrasher silently worded.

Memories of Skylaria flooded into vision. The only man she had ever seen in the years she spent in the sky city had been her Dad. It was a law in Skylaria that no men could enter there, unless they gained the favor of the Warrior Queen which was a very rare occurrence. The golden armored warriors of the clouds spoke nothing about genders, sexuality or romance. They were only interested in the art of practicing for battle.

So it had been a shock for Ultragirl to finally come home to the city and see so many men again. At first, she had thought it strange at how much she had grown interested in the shape of their physique. Her curious mind had begun to wonder what a man looked like - naked. But as she had more of a desire to start her career as a hero, she had put those thoughts to the back of her mind.

The memory of her breast being fingered again crept into her brain. She had spent many years training to throw and receive blows in that distant land. The experience of being punched, kicked and slammed while training was nothing new- she had grown used to that feeling. There were many friends too that she had gained through the years and she remembered all the soft hugs she would receive time after time. There were moments when she was even bathed by the Duchess's maids. She had never once become aroused having those women touch her with soap and sponges. But remembering how those rough fingernails touched her, sinking into her skin, nudging against her tip.

"It is just as well," another woman's voice broke through her trance.

Everyone turned their attention toward the doorway to see a very tall honey blonde woman walking into the room. A large pair of white fluffy wings spread out from her naked back, filling the whole of the entrance. She wore a golden metal breastplate with silver trim, that strategically rounded around each of the tops of her large melon sized breasts, dipping into her cleavage. The armor ran down her sides to her waist, whereupon it branched out at her sides. White cloth adorned the tips of the metal, wafting lightly. A silver subligar covered her midsection, completely naked thighs running all the way down to her golden sandals. Large sleek silver bracers protected her forearms and on her head she wore a silver tiara. Hooked about her waist was a golden belt that housed a round blue shield and a sword with a golden ruby crusted hilt. It lay sheathed inside a golden scabbard that was almost long enough to reach the floor. The perfectly round shield had the logo of golden wings in the dark blue center.

"When it comes to men, Tara, you will find yourself to be much better off avoiding being involved with them," the newcomer interjected.

"Jaina!" Ultragirl jumped to attention as she rigidly sat up in her chair.

"I don't know," Thrasher grinned, putting a fist to her chin as she crossed her legs and sat back," Maybe you girls would have a different point of view if you both just got out more."

Jaina looked down at Thrasher, giving her a serious look.

"And maybe you should all be paying attention to the monitors instead of talking about ridiculous subjects," Jaina spoke nonchalantly.

Both girls instantly whirled their chairs around to glance at the screens, while Recharge craned his neck away from Warmaiden's cleavage. A bulletin was flashing on the Metrotown news. The gray haired mustached reporter was talking to Chief Barkley, who was angrily yelling about robots trashing the Park Central Mall.

"Awesome! Robots!" Ultragirl jolted up from out of her chair, clenching her fists excitedly," I can easily smash them!"

"Are you sure you're not an overly eager teenager?" Thrasher asked.

"You are staying here," Jaina calmly informed Ultragirl.

"What?! Why?!" Ultragirl furiously spun her waist to crane her neck back towards Jaina.

"Because you are still on monitor duty. Thrasher and Recharge will go to the scene. You will be accessing the situation in case they need backup," ordered Jaina.

Ultragirl grumbled something unintelligible under her breath. She looked at both Thrasher and Recharge for support but their faces told her that they would give no argument. A feeling of deep desire to join in seeped into her as she watched her friends quickly hurry past Warmaiden, toward an adventure she desperately wanted to go on.

"Fire Beetle is already heading toward the scene," Jaina called after them, not once allowing her gaze to fall off Ultragirl," make sure you meet up with him."

They both shouted a 'yes ma'am' as they rounded around into the hallway. Ultragirl watched the entrance eagerly, wishing for nothing more but to be going with them. But as she became aware of the taller woman that was still presiding over her, she shifted her gaze to chance a look at her face.

Very stern looking eyes came down to meet her. Ultragirl knew she was about to be lectured. Again. She was so tired of it. So very tired of it all. As she sank her gaze to the shiny aluminum floor, a hand came to rest upon her shoulder. Eyes one again traveled upwards and she found that Jaina's expression had grown softer.

"It does not matter how many years you have spent living on this planet, Tara," the older woman gently worded," The fact is that you are still very much a young woman that your father and I very much wish to protect."

"I. I know," Tara responded softly.

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AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
A Little Bit Over the Top But Not Too Bad, Overall...

It seems that most of the time I am asking the authors to flesh out their stories more so that we can get a better feel for the characters and the situations in which they find themselves in. In the case of this particular story I think you might have gone just a little bit overboard. I don't mind descriptions of the characters--usually there is not enough information. In this case it was almost analysis overload as you tended to describe everything down to the littlest details (how many times do we have to be told about Ultragirl's baseball-sized breasts and the fit and colors of her uniform?). And then there were the run-on sentences, but at least they were mostly grammatically correct.

The story, itself, was bogged down by too much exposition (I can't believe I'm actually saying that) and it seemed to take forever to get through the action sequences and conversations. You might try your hand at pacing: slow it down as necessary and then speed it up when you want to further the excitement of the story-line. But, all in all, I thought it was a pretty good effort and I will look forward to future chapters. Good luck.

Roger

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Awesome!

This is a brilliant lead in..solid world-building and character development with teasing interactions that don't feel rushed.

Fingers crossed for frequent chapters!!

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