All Comments on 'Under a Thin White Sheet Ch. 05'

Brilliant story but I suggest that you wrote something about what will happen if he cumming in an unprotected pussy :) use protection or take the consequence. If you will do the story will be more live :)

Twice in 3 days I encounter a story with mom playing the moral police while screwing, marrying and having kids with her first cousin. The addition of moms view while a nice touch was a predictable one, still I encourage it.

April sniffing and tasting her moms juices from the floor made me shiver like Siberian winter, no wonder her face went white. But then came april argumentation to their loving and then I was flown away, and as if that wasn’t enough the “talk” went down spectacularly. The final proclamation of love and desire just made my day!

Shifting the POW is causing you some problems most obviously noticeable when re-enacting the scenes (example is Joes POW and you still write “Panic was filled my face. April cupped his face with her left hand”).

Still it's a very solid 5* with high hopes & expectations for the future!

Did not enjoy the twist in the story involving the mother :(

Ignore Those other comments. That's probably why their anonymous. I thought the whole story was great. A young brother and sister growing up together. Not getting involved with others. Becoming young adults. Falling in love with each other, but not understanding these feelings. experimenting slowly with each other. Getting bolder each time their together. Realizing finally how much the really loved each other. Bringing mom into it had to happen, or they would have had to keep sneaking around. Mother having had the same hidden love for her (cousin) husband, handled it like a loving mother would. That's why I enjoyed the story. I hope the rest of your stories are just as good. oldnhorny

I was sure I wasn't going to like the introduction of the mother into this story. I was wrong! A sexy and powerful proof of a brother's love for his sister. More! I need more!

Thank you very much for your support. I know the story is a constant back and forth tease. The full story is about 50 word pages long at this point and only 1/3rd the story is told so looks to be headed to the 150 word pages length. Chapter 6 is in work and I will push it out as soon as I am happy with the length and situations.

As many have said....MORE!!!

Is more still coming?

Like the story, but the constant perspective changes are super annoying. Do you only know how to write in the first person? Anyway, 5-stars for plot/story -2 for clumsy execution.

I can't begin to tell you how much I LOVE this story. I like the different perspectives, makes this story seem more real, like I'm really there. Love it!!!❤❤❤

I expected at least one comment about the changes in "first person", "second person","third person" but I think it worked perfectly. I didn't have any trouble following it and gave it a "5"!

Lets get it in gear a few more chapters please.

At lease add before paragraph who is talking, had to play guess who every time still 5* for a good story.

Do you leave the end like this always??? You implied but I wish you would continue this story.

5+++ !!! First story I've read on this site. Fantastic ! Read 1 chapter each day and came during each one. Can't wait for more. Losing their virginity to each other... first experiments with oral... perhaps a threesome with the mom as a cuckold play toy ? Mmmm...the possibilities. more...More...MORE !!!

I really didn’t like the mom being involved. Like wtf he just randomly fucked her and not April?

I saw the author posted a while back they were gonna do more but guess they didn’t know how to add to it

Great story, I would love to read more after chapter 5 of how he ends up inside April

Loved it!!.....plenty of foreplay....teasing........Like some of the others, I would be keen to read the brother and sister finally having sex......probably not in a vanilla way on the bed but somehwere else.

Please do more!!

Loved it

Please more

Please MORE!!!

Wow... Need more. Does mom watch when they finely.

This is exceptional writing. You are good at this and this is a great story. You should keep it going.

Please foursome with Rachel, Mum, Sister and Brother

Thank you to everyone for the feedback over the years. I've since moved on to visual and kinetic novels but I have the next chapter partially written. I think I'll take a bit of time to refresh it and finish. It was never intended to end here so hopefully it won't take too long. Thank you.

Chapter 6 Submitted and pending review.

You had an interesting story going, there. Then, you had to ruin it by involving the mother. I wish I could give it a negative star rating.

joe and april are still in love and including mom was rlly confusing, i think your next chapter is important if you want to keep your readers lol

Just found this. I love it. Maybe the best erotic fiction I've ever read, and I've read quite a bit. Ignore the complainers; this is fantastic. I've probably cum to this 15 times, and I'm only in the middle of part 5. It's lovely. Thank you.

William R.

That was weird. I understand it, but...it did nothing for me