Under the Influence

Dad was already showered and dressed by the time I followed my nose to the kitchen. He was waiting for me at the breakfast table. I stumbled over to the counter, took a cup from the cabinet and poured myself some Columbian brew before joining him.

"Dad, how did you know I was here last night? That was down-right spooky."

"We've been having some trouble with kids in the neighborhood. They've been going around shooting out windows in cars and houses with a pellet gun. I guess I've been sleeping with one ear open and didn't even realize it. I heard you pull in before you even shut off the engine."

I just shook my head. For as long as I could remember there had always been a gang of neighborhood hoodlums causing trouble of one kind or another. Of course there was a time when I guess I was considered one of them.

"Are you ready to tell me why I had my son in my driveway at two in the morning?"

That was my dad—straight to the point. I nodded my head as I took a sip of black gold. "Cora and a couple friends tried pulling something on me last night that I...I just can't believe she'd do something like that."

He didn't say anything, just waited for me to continue.

"She and a married couple that we know tried to get me drunk. The plan was to make me think I had sex with the other woman. I guess they were going to try and leverage that into convincing me to swap wives."

"This was something that Cora was going along with?" he probed.

I sat and told dad the whole story; how I first thought it was a bet, how I faked passing out, the reason why Cora said she did what she did, the whole thing.

"So Cora really thought you were out cold when she called a halt to everything?"

"Yeah, I have no doubt she really thought I was drunk. I put on a good show."

"Well, I can certainly see your disappointment in her," he said with a sigh. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. That's why I came out here—to talk to you. I'm just finding it so hard to believe she would find any pleasure conspiring against me like that. I guess I'm wondering if someone who really loves you could do that."

I could almost see the wheels turning in his head as Dad got up and poured himself another cup of coffee. He was still in thought as returned and sat back down. "Has she ever done anything like this before?"

"No, this was completely out of the blue."

"As far as you know she's never cheated on you, right?"

"Right. You know me, dad. I believe in fidelity. I would never stand for cheating."

He was still thinking. "Any idea how many second chances you've been given in your life, son?"

"So you think I should give her a second chance?"

He took a sip of his newly poured brew. "People are not perfect, Steve. We all have our faults. I remember when you were younger. Your mother and I were so worried about your drinking. We talked to you a couple times but it didn't seem to help. Every once in a while we'd get reports from friends or neighbors who saw you so drunk you couldn't hardly walk.

"Your mother and I felt so helpless but you were old enough to be responsible for your own actions and we couldn't very well lock you in your room. We thought sure you'd either wind up in jail or a funeral home, but you didn't do either.

"One day you just seemed to straighten yourself out. It was a miracle as far as your mom and I were concerned. You can't imagine how relieved we both were.

"I have no idea what happened to turn your life around like that but I have a suspicion it had something to do with a second chance of some sort. Now, of course second chances don't always work. Some people let them go by without taking advantage at all; some, like you, use them to change their lives. It's up to the individual to determine what happens. Unfortunately, there're a lot of people who never got a second chance. What a shame. To me, everyone deserves that opportunity. If they blow it then they have only themselves to blame for the consequences but I wonder how much better off the world would be if everyone got a second chance."

I sat there remembering that night on the tracks. I could still feel the fear I had when I looked up and saw my imminent death bearing down on me like that. I wondered if Cora felt the same fear when she saw the death of our marriage bearing down on her. Would it scare her straight, like it did me?

"How long are you staying, son?"

My dad broke my train of thought. "Ah, well I was going to stay the weekend but now I think I should be going back home pretty soon, dad. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," he replied with a smile.

We sat and talked some more about other things. A little later I gave him a hand with some yard work but I was headed back home that afternoon. I kept thinking about what my dad said about second chances. If she hadn't spoken up when she did and put a stop to everything I wouldn't even consider it, but she did. It'll be a while before completely trusting her again, though. Until that time I will remain vigilant.

When I walked in I was surprised to hear music coming from the den. So much for her sitting home alone crying her eyes out like I envisioned.

I startled her when I appeared in the doorway. She looked up and I saw her catch her breath. I'm not sure what I expected to see. I guess the music threw me. She was standing behind the ironing board ironing one of my shirts and had another four or five hanging up. "What in the world..."

"I...I was going insane here all alone. I didn't know when you were coming home or...or if you were coming home," she said with sadness in her voice. "I had to do something to try and keep my mind off of things. The music helped but I...I don't, I felt closer to you by ironing some of your shirts."

She looked at me expectantly. She was waiting for me to proclaim the fate of our marriage. The worry on her face was hard to miss. I could see her literally holding her breath.

"I can't tell you how disappointed I am in you. That you could find it exciting or find any pleasure at all in plotting against me in anyway just makes me cringe."

"Steve, I'm so..."

"I know, you're sorry, I know," I said, interrupted her. I didn't need anymore, I'm sorrys. "You and I have never really discussed what we expect out of each other concerning fidelity. I didn't think we had to. I always assumed you felt the same way I did. Now I'm wondering if you might be a little more relaxed about the subject than I am.

"I spent the night with my dad. He asked me a question that I immediately answered to the best of my knowledge, but on the way home I started to wonder. See, that's the problem with opening Pandora's Box, Cora. It's like a judge who takes a bribe one time and is caught. Every case he ever ruled on is then called into question. People suspect other decisions he made in the past may have been the result of another bribe. My dad asked if you've ever cheated on me. I said no, but now I'm not so sure."

"NEVER," she emphatically denied. "Steve, I have never done anything with another man that I wouldn't have done in front of you, I swear. I...I'll swear on the Bible in front of our pastor...I'll...I'll take a lie detector test, I'll do anything you suggest."

"Okay, the lie detector is a possibility. I'll have to think about it. In the meantime our marriage is on very shaky ground, Cora. I've not only lost trust but I've lost a good deal of respect for you. It's going to be up to you to regain both if you want this marriage to continue. Do you?"

By now she was crying again. "Do I...you mean want it to continue? Yes, of course I do. Steve, never in my life will I do something like that again. You're not the only one whose lost respect, I've lost it in myself."

"Okay, then consider this a second chance at a happy marriage. There won't be a third so I pray you make the best of it."

"I will, Steve."

And she did. She's worked hard to regain my trust AND my respect. Some of us are lucky enough to have faced the pending consequences of our actions and been given a second chance to redeem ourselves. I'm one of those lucky people, Cora is another.

Brad and Susie weren't so lucky. Seven months after our incident I'd heard they were getting divorced. I don't know why, I don't care. Neither Cora nor I ever talked to them again.

The end.