All Comments on 'Unexpected Love Ch. 1'

Story leaves out crucial characterization details. Sex scene is extremely short. Should be "erotic couplings." Grammar, however, shows proficiency. 25%

Step 1 - Step 2 - Step 3 - Step 4

I did not rate this highly (a 2) because it came across as a "by the numbers" story. No drama, no questioning, no hesitancy. No literary merit. Sorry...I would suggest rewriting and taking your time.

nice story, awfully written. Change of tense agreement, you name it. Too bad.

a bit too predictable

Nice story. Had to giggle when Dan won prom queen. Not enough typos to sop the score. 5*

Tc