All Comments on 'Unexpected Love Ch. 1'

Nice story. Had to giggle when Dan won prom queen. Not enough typos to sop the score. 5*

Tc

a bit too predictable

nice story, awfully written. Change of tense agreement, you name it. Too bad.

Step 1 - Step 2 - Step 3 - Step 4

I did not rate this highly (a 2) because it came across as a "by the numbers" story. No drama, no questioning, no hesitancy. No literary merit. Sorry...I would suggest rewriting and taking your time.

Story leaves out crucial characterization details. Sex scene is extremely short. Should be "erotic couplings." Grammar, however, shows proficiency. 25%