All Comments on 'Vacation with the Family Ch. 02'

Keep it up. :) ~Chargergirl

Writing involves much more than simply transforming your thoughts into written words. You need help with your writing. Your stories will continue to have a distinct amateurish quality until you seek an editor and respond to his or her appropriate critisicms and suggestions.

I like it more and more . If she were mine I'd definitely be licking her ass along with her pussy . Let's have more .

great story! keep it cumming(i did). and to those who think its amaturish....all the stories by Literotica authors are amatures or they wouldnt be doing it for free.

keep up the good work.

very good so far i hope you continue and don't leave us hanging like most of the writers on this site

needs a good editor and more chapters i never give a high rating to a continued story because 90% of all writers never finish the story if you continue remember to tell us if the parents find out if she gets pregnant and if they continue after the vacation also do not listen to closely to chargergirl she has a bad habit of not finishing her stories or giving them totally lame endings if you want to be a good writer find a good editor finish your stories and keep them realistic and believable also try to bring them to a proper end in other words if you start with a bro/sis story keep it a bro/sis story incest is always better with fewer people involved remember "KISS" keep it simple stupid and you will do fine

Wonderful story. I enjoyed reading it. I had hoped that you wouldn't listen to the naysayers but it appears that you did since you have not writen anything else. You should continue this story & do so soon.

Ooh hot wish I could fuck Lauren hard

Although clearly you left the story early, I can't but feel that the story seems complete. Lacking, but complete. I know you won't reply or even see this comment (what's it been, 8 years?) but just wanted to bump this story so newer readers can read your highly voted story.

Cheers.

Yep I missed my chance...good story

Will there be a chapter three, about the first time Dave cums inside his sister? As lovers it has to happen perhaps they become totally overcome with lust for each other. Lovely story though, I really enjoyed it.