All Comments on 'Vengeance is Sweet'

Slow build up to a sexy love scene. Well done and a five star score.

Only quibble is avoid using names starting with the same letter - Amy, Angie and was it April? It's difficult for the reader to identify.

This relatively good story was absolutely destroyed by poor grammar, spelling, sentence structure and, yes, punctuation. Get thyself an editor, NOW. Hell, Literotica can PROVIDE editors to you, who would gladly do it for free, if you'd only just ASK. So, next time you make the effort to pound out 7,000+ words on a story, don't be a prideful idiot: ask for someone to clean it up for you or, at the very least, invest just as much time into editing it by yourself as you did in writing it.

As for the story itself... I'm a bit unclear about something: what did the step-mother do to earn so much hatred? She was beautiful- got it- but that doesn't seem like a good enough reason to want revenge. I mean, why hate water for being wet or despise a rock for being solid? The woman can't help her genetics; she was born that way. There was no mention of being mean or tyrannical or cruel, she was simply beautiful. When Amy grew up to have equally stunning looks of her own, she should have realized that. Now, if Angie was some sort of beautiful monster, a true she-bitch from Hell, that'd be a horse of a different color, but the way this story was written, it makes Amy seem like the real monster here. And a horribly selfish one, at that.

I'm giving this one only two stars, which is a rarity for me. I'm usually pretty forgiving when it comes to stories posted here at Lit-E, but this is one time where I simply can't ignore the obvious: you slacked on the technical writing and definitely missed a great opportunity to make the story infinitely better.

Do better next time.

I liked it. Good first effort. Sure as noted by others I noticed mistakes here and there but it didn't diminish the story for me. Interested to read what happens next for Amy and her dad.

Hey you know I sent in about half dozen requests to the editing section of this site and did not get a response to any of my requests. Finally I got tired and gave up and just went ahead and posted the damn thing much to your dismay I see. I understood may have been some issues with grammar and such that is why I requested help. I usually only write stories for my wife and I guess she is a bit more forgiving.

As for what the step mother did to incur the wrath of the daughter I was worried about story length being too long so I glossed it over without really covering it too much or at all. I will try doing a better job editing next time of myself since I still have not had one return email to any of my requests for editing help.

Grammar issues aside, it was a great story. I can't wait to read what happens next. You got a 5 stars from me also. Grammar issues are forgivable if you keep the reader CAPTIVATED. Which you certainly did. Great job!

I've been writing for many years and have learnt there's two ways to improve: keep writing because practise is what we all need and read, read, read. Your wife loves what you write, so you've given pleasure to the most important of your readers. Keep trying.

Although my comments seem harsh, please understand that I don't think you should quit. Ever. As previously stated, keep writing because it will give you practice. Make liberal use of spell check whenever possible- it doesn't catch everything, but it'll usually catch the most glaring issues. As for me, after every paragraph I write, I go back and edit it. I look at every line, sentence, punctuation mark and word, just to make absolutely certain that I put it down exactly as I wanted to get it across to the reader. And, then, when I'm done with the whole story, I go back over it again with a fine-toothed comb, as it were. Just like with spell check, you may not catch everything, but you'll get the lion's share of it that way. Having an editor/proofer is a boon, but at the end of the day, if you want something done right.......

And, yes, read. Lots. Read with a critical eye and make a habit of spotting every little error you can, even if you don't say something about it, take note of it for your OWN edification.

And, lastly, NEVER cheat the story. The story lasts as long as it lasts and ends when it ends. I've posted novel-length stories on here before with absolutely no concern for length; if people are daunted by a story's length, then my way of thinking is that they probably don't deserve to enjoy the story in the first place, so fuck 'em. Don't ever let a story's potential length or word count daunt you or cause you to think that leaving something out is a good idea. If it's germane to the story and it provides insight into the characters, then keep it. In construction there's an old saying, "Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it." When it comes to laying the foundation for a story, that should be your guiding principle.

I have to say that I dislike stories that feature small or slight female leads. This story, unequivocally, qualifies. It's like imagining a forty year old man with his fifteen year old daughter. Not something that turns me on. If, however, it is you thing.....

Are you aware that 5'1" and 98lb is underweight?

It exactly hits underweight, and that's not something that looks good on anyone. At all.

This is a very good start. Your character and plot development were right on. Your sex scene was very erotic rather than some that are over done. Keep writing.

This lame story wouldn't give a stiffy to a lifer in prison. Do us all a favor and LEARN TO WRITE.

.

Actually, do us a better favor and NEVER WRITE AGAIN.

I gave it 5 stars for its methodical plot and crescendo climax. loved the long slow tease to get daddy to cross the uncrossable line. well done.

No, 98 pounds at 5-1 is not underweight. My lover is 5-2, 100 pounds and very curvy, and a gym rat. Very strong. The daughter's revenge is believable and the father's reluctance even as he wrestles with lonliness and her attractiveness is well done. What is hard to believe is that a vixon like that would be a virgin at this stage of life, and act so experienced when her time has finally come. Ultimately, good story.

Thanks for the feedback will take it to heart. Already determined I have to do a better job proof reading the thing. The next one shall be better I would hope.

Everyone seems hung up on ur punctuation and less with the actual content, which is probably annoying to u. Unless this story had been re-edited over time i see no real problem with ur grammar, at least not enuff to hinder my enjoyment. Although slightly longwinded with the setup of her seduction routine, i really liked the first 3/4 of the story. It was pleasantly devoid of any major swears and premature nasty talk, which is pretty common in a lot of stories unfortunatley; when it comes to my particular taste (especially with 1st time together stories) it RUINS it for me when those 2 elemants are present. It was a good mix of realistic manipulation and father-daughter conversation topics, revolving mostly on the "Love" factor which is GREAT. It fell apart at the end though 1/2 way through the sex scene when they move from the cowgirl postion to standing position bent over a table.That along with the UN-realistic pace of supposed "virgin sex" between a father and daughter really dissapointed me. Cowgirl position as a starting pos for a "virgin" is believeable but not standing under any circumstances; it would naturally go from there to missionary or on their sides with her leg pulled up supported in the crook of his elbow. You also started using "Fuck" at the very end which feels soooo wrong for first time together stories, whereas a variation on "making love" is a MUCH more realistic expression in that situation. I TRULY mean this all as CONSTRUCTIVE criticism cuz uve certainly got potential/promise in this area/topic so keep honing ur craft and try to keep in mind this idea when writing and planning these stories: write the story as if it was happening to YOU, asking urself constantly mid story "does this seem realistic for these circumstances?" I know I personally would NEVER be capable of treating my daughter like a slut with speech or action towards her if it was our first time together, especially if shes a virgin.

I was so wet after this

Sorry, once I "seen" that, I wasn't prepare to read any further.

No problem that Amy is 5'1" and 98 pounds. It is a problem if she's 5'1" and 98 pounds with D cup breasts. At this size Amy's breasts would be grossly disproportionate to her frame.

I have read several of your enjoyable stories now; they are well paced and nicely erotic. But, as others have said, grammar is your Achilles heel. A fresh set of eyes to check your story is the best. I know I can not proof read my own stuff, my mind skips the errors as it knows what I intended to write, not what actually was written. Seen instead of saw, a biggie.

Enjoyed it all.

Cringed at both grammar & typos, but enough people have given constructive criticism about that.

Thanks for an enjoyable read. 😊🙏😊

P.S. Ignore the comment above titled "Worthless POS".....

That commenter must be talking about himself.

Really sad that some people can be so fucking offensive, without any mentioned reason, justification, criticism or constructiveness.

Maybe just a frustrated Keyboard Warrior, saddened by the size of his dick.🤣