All Comments on 'Vicki'

Good, hot story! It's nice to read a story from another lover of long, red fingernails! They are so sexy! Hope to read more from you.

"Baby, this boy wnats to make babies with you"? Christ, I can't wait til schools back and these awful kids stop trying to write real erotica.

Blech.

The problem is... there are too many... instances of a... certain... thing... along with a misunderstanding of 'how to "use' quotes."

If you pardon my irony.

That was fantastic please write some more chapters

Pat

Atlanta,Ga.

...in the category of "Shittiest writing ever to be vomited onto Literotica!"

Also scores Honorable Mentions in Least Plausible Scenario, Poorest Dialogue, and Most Hapless Lead Character.

Author, normally I'd recommend an editor. For you, I'd recommend playing your fantasies on the insides of your eyelids and never letting them out again.

But that's just my opinion; I coud be wrong.

I really enjoyed your story, a different take on a common fantasy of mine when i was 18.

Learn bra sizes... 55ddd would be as wide as a house.

The proper use of grammar and punctuation do make a difference in telling a story, and it appears that this writer never took an English course, or, if he did, it didn't take. I would suggest that before posting his next effort that he avail himself of the services of one of the many excellent volunteer editors at this site.

You definitely conveyed the lust you had for an older, BBW. I agree, the 55DDD or whatever bra size you said -- as a woman, that sounded weird and grotesque in the extreme. 6', 200+ pounds, she's probably a nice 44DD, or maybe slightly larger - that sounds more realistic to me.

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Another problem I had was you said you worked at the husband's restaurant, and one Saturday night ... blah, blah. Suddenly, it's 8:00 a.m., and you are driving the boss's wife home? Is this some sort of 24-hour restaurant? How did you go from it being a Saturday night, to some time early in the morning? It didn't make sense.<br><br>

But overall, it wasn't as horrible as some of the comments made it sound. You got the emotion of the moment expressed pretty well. Tighten up the writing, watch the flow to be sure it makes sense, and this would be a very nice little tale.

Ok baby,, where,, when,, I'm all yours...Hot damn...

Passion

Sun Shining? Fucked her all day? Did we forget about the husband coming home?