All Comments on 'Vicki and the Rooftop'

For me, the problem with the story is that both Vicki and Dean are unlikeable. Dean - because he's an attempted rapist, and Vicki - because she didn't take any precautions for being there all alone for who knows how long. Bit surprising Aunt didn't go check on her. As far as what she should do, Vicki should turn the tables on Dean to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else - call the police and have him locked up - though with a "he said, she said", Dean would probably get off lightly even if he was prosecuted.

Too many grammar errors

Got your points! I know I am not that perfect. I'll see to it that my grammar will get better on my next story. And to add, I don't have an editor. But still thank you for reading it! :)

As to the other Anon, I took some of your opinion in improving the 2nd story but I just wanna re-iterate that this is a noncon story and a fiction. I still wanna continue the "dark plans" of Dean to Vicki. Thank you for your time.

Thanks again! :)

The grammar was waaaay too distracting. Couldn't even stay reading it until the end.

Sorry if my grammar distracted you too much that you weren't able to finish the story. By the way, this has a second installment. I hope you could read that too to see if my grammar got better. Thanks.

As some others have stated you need to check your story before posting. Try reading out loud to yourself before you post. Also the characters could use a little more development.

You keep referring to Vicki as a man. It should be hers not his.

You do need to focus on grammar and also get a second person to proof read for you.

Yes, I should have. I promise to do better, especially with the grammar, on my next submissions. With that said, it will take me awhile to post the next installment for this story. I already started writing it but I need someone who will proof read it for me.

Thank you for reading and commenting! I will put all of your pointers into consideration! :)

Though this was a rape,I didn't find any part of the story particularly rough. He licked her tits and pussy and after that Vicki wasn't too reluctant.

Grammar is another thing, but one must remember all the writers don't have English as a mother tongue. I could follow. Some proofread wouldn't hurt,though.

This was very hard to read because of all of the grammatical errors. It almost sounds as if English is a second language. It's not a bad story, just needs to be edited for those errors. There are lots of "his" that should be "her's" for example.

I enjoyed the story and I believe it has a lot of potential. Seeing as it's a big fantasy of mine, I would love to be able to edit it and repost it - with your permission of course. As others have said, the grammatical errors do make it difficult to follow at times, but I do think that with some tweeking, it could be a wonderful story. I will email you as well, as I am very interested in editing it, if you don't mind :) keep writing!