All Comments on 'Village Woman Escapes from a Rogue'

I swear every story lately about Indians has made them look like absolute fools. UGH!

First thing...

You have two stories here. It might be better to split them up. The BJ rape scene then the voyeur turns to masturbation scene.

I liked the first scene... mostly. You had a few flaws. The attackers dick ALWAYS has to be enormous... Which is bullshit. Also the BJ lacked proper motivation for Sunita to actually do it. The moment his prick enters her mouth, she takes 2 inches in then BITES it off. No way will he be in any shape to defend himself or chase her. A solo rapist wouldn't want a blowjob, he would just fuck her vaginally or anally. Saying that, the scene is expertly written. You get her emotions, and when it's over she isn't horny but distraught. Good job!

The second scene... doesn't make much sense. Sunita was just raped, ANY man that looks at her sexually would cause her revulsion. If this was a year later, and she dealt with the trauma ok... but later that night? Nope. So she wakes to a dude masturbating and her reaction is to jerk him off? I think the proper reaction is to scream. I don't see why she lets him shave her either, seems so random. I just don't get any motivations in the second story. It's well written but the characters need proper motivations.

This is a good story overall. I don't mean to scare you away, but I am just being honest about the stories flaws.

1, You're right. A solo rapist won't want a BJ.

2, In fact there are a couple of paragraphs between the two stories that suggest almost a year has gone by.

Many thanks for the feedback.

Cheers!

The first part of the story was beautifully written. You did a great job with your description, but the second half of the story didn't make any sense to me.