Vision Ch. 08

Wriggling into me and sliding tender little arms around my neck, I feel her hot breasts against me, there are some changes going on there already. It slowly dawns on me we've not really talked yet and I am still mad as hell. I stop and she looks at me.

"What?"

"You tell me what? I want you to talk to me."

"Ok."

"Talk."

"What do you want to hear?"

I'm not having it from her right now.

"Let's get up."

Wrapping up in a throw blanket she follows me into the living room and sits down.

"Talk to me woman. What's going on with you?"

"I'm pregnant. Or didn't you catch that part?"

I stand. "You can drop the attitude. I am not taking your shit right now."

She looks at me like I've slapped her. I'd like to spank and then fuck the hell out of her, but it's not an option.

"Look, if you're scared I can understand that, but you are really going to have to work on those verbal skills and express yourself. I don't want the tantrums and the crying and the running away. Run on me again and I will bring you back in shackles. It's not just you now you know."

She hangs her head. I squat down to look in her eyes.

"You're wearing me out woman. I've got more gray hairs in my beard than ever."

Looking closely and tilting her head she says, "They look blond." Her eyes light up a little.

"You have a beard." She leans forward to kiss me. I let her, but back away.

"No, it's not going to be that easy this time. I want some answers from you."

"I don't know what you want. I'm here. I'm pregnant. Like you wanted. What?"

"Like I wanted? Do you not want the baby? Are you that unhappy about it?"

She touches her stomach. "I want to try."

"Do you love me Lou? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. "

"Well that's a start. But you have issues. We all do, there's nothing wrong with that. But the running away, the anger, those nightmares of yours which are getting worse and worse. . . I'm surprised no one made you when your parents died but your butt is going for therapy or counseling somewhere, you need help. Someone should have done this for you a long time ago."

"WHAT?"

"You heard me. There will be no more sex until we do."

She stands. "You're not serious?"?

"As serious as death and taxes. Dead Serious. No more fucking until we find out how you're feeling."

She scowls at me and I scowl right back.

"You've got some nerve mister, all things considered. You go on a Viagra fueled testosterone revenge sex bender and practically rape me and then have the nerve to preach at me about fucking and feeling! Are you kidding me?"

Rape? I ravished her and fucked her harder than I should have, a few times maybe. But rape? I do not like the sound of that.

Dax looked stricken for a moment, possibly even guilty.

"Dax, black people don't go to shrinks. It's frivolous nonsense."

"You're right. Black people go to church or they pray about it, but you don't do those things."

"Religion! Because it's solved all the world's problems."

"Or at the very least a concept that can penetrate your thick ego driven mind, it would be a lot easier on you if you could see yourself as part of something larger for a change, something higher than your high and mighty self."

"You're the one that's high. Clearly you've smacked your head." She grunts.

"Church or counseling. What's it gonna be?" She's gaping at me like I've lost my mind but it seems to be sinking in how serious I am.

"If I'm so mentally challenged why in the hell do you want to be with me? I definitely shouldn't be passing on such damaged genes."

"Don't go there. I did not call you mentally challenged or damaged; I said, you need help. Be reasonable."

"Well I guess you'd better find someone to see us tomorrow then."

Oh? That was easy.

"Why so eager?"

She swallows hard and looks at me. "Because . . . "

Her chin is quivering. Highly emotional these days, the next 8 months or so should be interesting. I kiss her nose.

"A day or two more won't kill us. Besides, we've got to get some help here and get a handle on things before Lulu, Jr. gets here, and we need to see how far along you are too don't you think?"

She nods reluctantly. "So you still love me?"

I sigh. "It defies all known logic but, yes."

"Even though I've been bad?"

"When aren't you bad Lulu?"

She scoffs indignantly.

I laugh at her. "I love you because you are bad. You're a complete nut job, but I like you anyway."

"Gee thanks for not judging." She pouts. "Well if you won't fuck me, the least you can do is feed me. I want cake Dax and I want it now."

I laugh at her. "Is this going to be my life for the next 8 months, demands for cake and sex? "

She slides her arms around my neck and nods. "Yes, and if you're really lucky, cake and sex at the same time." She goes up on her toes and kisses me.

--

I make chicken stir-fry and a little quick cake and under Lili's instruction, a particularly strong ginger-lemon tea. Lou keeps the food down but is still dog-tired so we turn in early. Of course halfway through the night I wake up and she's laying half on top of me as per usual. But she seems to be having a bad dream because she's saying something and crying.

Alarmed, I turn on the light and wake her up. After a few seconds she remembers where she is and who I am and relaxes.

"Bébé what's wrong?"

She shakes her head and shivers. She never tells me about these nightmares so I'm shocked when she starts talking.

"Always the same. The crush of bricks and debris, the eight days it took to find their bodies. I still wonder how long they laid there and whether or not they were conscious. I can hear them calling, but I can't dig fast enough. I can never reach them. Lili and Lenny, Lenny was so little. His little face.

And it was me, it was my fault they were with me Dax, in New York City looking at colleges up there because I wanted bigger and better. Can you imagine your parents dying exactly a month to the day after your 17th birthday? My parents gone because I just couldn't stay in bum fuck Richmond."

She weeps bitterly for many minutes.

Whoa! I never knew all that. The nightmares have been coming with increasing frequency. I hug her, trying to quell her trembling. I'd absorb it all if I could. This cannot be good for the baby.

Once she's cried out, I massage her neck and shoulders. After a while she sighs a shuddery sigh and lies back pulling me down for a slow kiss and slowly runs her hands down my back and under the waistband of my pjs. I grab her hand.

"We should wait Lulu. I don't want to hurt you two." She's pregnant and delicate.

"I know, but . . . " She touches my face and my eyes slowly focus on her again. "Please?"

God she's adorable. She kisses my dimple, my eyes and my nose and starts moving those hot little hands all over me again. She takes off her slip. I groan, letting her push down my pjs and guide me into her.

Oh sweet heaven. I'm trying to be gentle but she's got her hands on the back of my thighs urging me on, putting my hands on her body, her breasts just the tiniest bit larger already, the skin taut, the nipples sensitive, it floats through my mind to wonder how far along she really is but then she starts to buck a little harder under me and all thoughts vanish.

Holding back and refusing to really thrust into her, I'm letting her work herself off on me and when I feel she's close I give up and come with her, she's still pulsating when I pull out of her and gently roll away.

Hmmmm the next few months should be interesting. I can't help but shake my head at her as she grins, and starts to giggle shamelessly.

Oh that's it! I give her bottom a good pinch, and she squeals, slapping at my hand.

She sighs contentedly. "That was amazing. Mmmmm I don't know Dax," she says stroking my chest, "I think I want more, let's do it again."

I laugh at her. "You've gotten away with enough tonight. I'm starting to think you're a bit of a brat."

"Well if I am spoiled it's your fault." She snuggles against me impenitently.

"I'll have to be much stricter with you."

"I certainly hope so." She kisses me until she gets her way again.

In the morning I commandeer her phone and call Eddie, who bumps someone and schedules us at 10:30 am.

She puts on a cashmere sweater dress; socks and boots and leather jacket and we head out with me driving and her looking anxious. They take us in quickly at the women's pavilion and since Lulu doesn't let go of my hand, we enter the exam room together.

She strips down and puts on the cotton gown and sits on the side of the table swinging her legs in her socks. An assistant comes in to weigh her and take blood.

The assistant turns to me and asks me to roll up my sleeve. "The doctor asked me to get a blood sample from you as well sir, if you don't mind."

"Ok?" I roll up my sleeve and watch as the rubber is strapped around me and the assistant taps up a vein and quickly extracts two long tubes of blood.

I look at Lulu but she shrugs and shakes her head as clueless as me as they rush the samples off to the lab. We wait quietly looking around the room as we wait for the Eddie who finally comes in with a hearty Hello. Without preamble she asks,

"So Lou, what happened to your 'hell no' policy? As per our agreement I want that ribeye steak cooked medium rare and I want you to cook it. I want creamy mashed potatoes, the Paris butter the works, and I want dessert."

She taps her lip thoughtfully. "Pecan pie I think, with Chantilly cream flavored with the good liquor mind you."

Lou rolls her eyes. "Fucking witch doctor."

"Look at you, all knocked up and scared."

Despite Eddie's crusty manner, she's very gentle. Examining Lou's breasts again she's looking carefully at the nipples, weighing the breasts with her hands. Live girl on girl action covered by insurance. God Bless America!

"Lou? How far along do you think you are?"

"Not far, three or four weeks?" I know what she's thinking. Damn. She gives her last period date.

"It was a light period, a few days of spotting and that was it. I thought it was normal after . . . or maybe something was wrong or off somehow. You know my period's never been what you'd call trustworthy."

"God damn it woman! Again withholding information. You thought something was wrong and you didn't say anything?" I want to scream in frustration.

"Don't yell at me right now Dax. It's not like I got myself pregnant!"

Eddie looks at Lou's folder, mildly perplexed.

"What's wrong?" asks Lou.

"Well you just seem a little more pregnant than what your dates would appear to confirm."

"Something's wrong?" She asks in a small voice. She's starts to shake. "Again. I knew it." Tears are standing in her eyes.

"I don't think anything's really wrong but your pregnancy hormone levels are high, but I think there's a reasonable answer for that. Lie back and put your feet up. Relax yourself."

Ed adjusts a screening sheet over Lou's thighs. She picks up a rather long pointy wand and Lulu groans.

"Relax, just relax." Eddie soothes. She slides a condom and some jelly on the wand and asks me hold Lulu's hand.

"Dax she says you must be a happy happy man. Lou here has some of the strongest pelvic floor muscles I've ever come across."

Lulu frowns at her. Eddie is a pistol. She inserts the wand and gently probes around as she looks at the screen.

Lulu grips my hand tightly. "Is everything ok? This feels different than last time, I've been a little tired but there's no pain and except for the nausea, I feel fine."

Concentrating on the screen and very gently and carefully moving the wand Eddie says quietly as she focuses carefully on the screen,

"Different is good. Just keep calm and still. Everything looks just fine. I just wanna see . . . Yep, I thought so, there it is. You see those two blotches? Look?"

Eddie points at the screen and grins widely.

"Those are babies, twins. You're 7 weeks along, give or take a day or two." She prints out a screen shot and hands it to us. "Congratulations little girl." She smiles at Lou.

"Twins?"

"Yep. Get dressed, I'll be right back to talk to you two."

Lulu sits up looking dazed and confused. She seems to be having problems moving. I help her clean up and put her clothes on. I am looking at her and trying to imagine her in a few months and I'm starting to be a little panicked myself.

Twins. I feel a little guilty I should have told Lulu about my brother and me sooner.

She's silently looking at me accusingly through narrowed eyes and her nostrils are almost flaring by the time Eddie walks back in.

"Ah yes, right on schedule with the accusations, I see." Her gimlet eye misses nothing.

"Lou love, don't give him the stink eye. This is all you. Remember that episode you thought was mittleschmerz only it wasn't? I think you've been hyper-ovulating for the last few years now and releasing extra eggs. Which made for very painful ovulation sometimes. Most women trying to get knocked up pay big money for HcG shots to artificially induce this state in the hopes of getting just one baby but I suspect you have the gene that naturally causes it. He's not necessarily the culprit here. Hell you even ovulate aggressively, I'm not even surprised."

"My brother and I are twins, they tend to run in my family.

"Having a twin brother has nothing to do with it, Dax. But you more than did your part. Your blood type is O-, which not only makes you a universal donor but highly compatible with Lou's AB- blood. It's rare but you're both rh negative. I suspected as much, which is why I decided to test you. I don't even have to give you the rhogram shot, it's perfect, like someone handpicked him!"

Clapping her hands Ed goes on excitedly. "Two very rare blood types. Rare and compatible." Great, now we are some sort of successful science experiment.

With an ironic twist to her lips, Ed continues. "The penicillin could be a factor too. I think it created a perfect storm of fertility, knocked down your meager defenses since you weren't on the pill long enough to have built up a resistance. The elevated levels of HcG are what bought on such severe morning sickness, the ginger should help but don't overdo it.

Your iron levels are a little low, I want to keep an eye on that but it should level out once we start you on a prenatal vitamin regimen. I'll recommend a prenatal nutritionist; with the idiopathic hypoglycemia I am going to want to monitor you carefully."

"The penicillin you two insisted I take?" Says Lou looking daggers at her friend.

Standing tall Eddie says, "You were sick. Your green tea and hot shower routine wasn't cutting it. I made the right call and I'd do it again." Crossing her arms she stares her friend down.

Lou sighs, relaxes a beat and then turns to me with murder in her eyes. "I turned 30 exactly seven weeks ago." Eddie looks at the two of us and quickly excuses herself.

"Did you plan this? That night I was passed out. Did you use a condom? You didn't, did you?" Ah hell. She's shaking with anger. "What the hell did you do to me!?"

"You need to calm down."

"Calm down? Don't tell me to calm down! I should kick your ass!" She hops down from the table and steps towards me.

Eddie comes back, talking as if she never left. I'm grateful. Lou is killing me with her eyes.

"You're in excellent health and if you follow instructions and take care of yourself, there's no reason you can't bring these babies to term just fine. We'll talk delivery options later, with twins I prefer C-section. Though it can do the babies a disservice as far as allergies as they don't get all the protective bacteria from the birth canal. I'm seeing a lot of that these days.

I can see you're about to bug out. I'll see you in two weeks for a checkup. Make sure you stop at the front desk as you check out so that you can pick up your prescription.

I'll call you when I'm ready for my steak dinner.

Oh, and as far as what landed you two here . . . you can keep doing it, it's not like she can possibly get anymore pregnant just be careful, and no biking and boxing for a while."

She pats her friend's back gently and leaves.

Risking a glance, I find her face still twisted with rage. "You heard the woman, no boxing."

Struggling to calm herself she says, "You're lucky I'm going to need all the help I can get and happen to believe children need both parents, because I have an almost overwhelming urge to shoot you right now and as hormonal as I am I pretty sure I could get away with it." She looks completely serious.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Don't stand there and tell that lie. You've never been so happy in your life, it's all over you."

"Yes, I'm happy. Happy that I had you that night you were lying there looking like a centerfold - all tits and temptation and passed out. Shit - happy doesn't even begin to cover it. I am overjoyed that the most beautiful and brilliant woman I ever met and can't keep my hands off of for more than two minutes is pregnant by me and I now get to be a permanent part of her life one way or another. Thrilled that you're standing there looking at me like I've lost my mind, when you're the one that made me lose it, because you drive me crazy. So shoot me, or kick my ass. You're goddamned right I'm happy. Happy enough to put you in those stirrups and do things to you in this very room, if you don't pipe down."

Reaching out I draw her to me and kiss her forehead and cheek and finally her stiff lips. Slowly and reluctantly she relaxes and sort of gives in. Grinding her head against my chest until her shoulders fall.

Looking up slowly she finally smiles. "Babies."

--

Thanksgiving, our favorite holiday, is two weeks away. Lou is having everyone over. The invitations are mailed complete with menu's printed on parchment. Turkey Cordon Bleu, Smoked ham, Smoked Salmon, Crowned rack of lamb, mustard greens, French green beans, fried buttered Brussels sprouts, creamed collard greens, cheese and macaroni, candied yams and sweet potato pie, pecan pie, apple pie, antipasto, chocolate cake, cookies just on and on.

In typical hardheaded fashion she's overdoing it and ignoring my advice. She can't ignore her body though and about 8:15 every night now she starts to slow down and I usually find her in her office chair nodding off and have to lead her away. She needs to start napping during the day.

We've been going to counseling on Wednesday nights and though she was angry as hell the first time, I can tell it's good for her to be able to get some things out. The nightmares have just about stopped. The pregnancy hormones initially threw her emotions into overdrive, which makes sense, as the nightmares would always come before her period. Though the therapist believes it stemmed from her growing attachment to and her fear of losing me.

I'm trying to work up the nerve to ask her to marry me. For now it's enough that she's agreed that children need two parents so we will be living here together.

We've discussed turning the attic into her new office so that we have more room for the twins and are able to maintain a spare bedroom. I am dying to spread out and expand, but she is full of reasons not to. The dust, the mess, the noise, the time, valid reasons. But we are going to eventually need more space.

"There are people in China who live with less space and more children, we'll manage. "

I remind her that this is not China. Her bathroom and closet take up too much space.

"You like my bathroom as much as I do. Where would you be if you couldn't watch the game from the tub sometimes? Admit it? You love it!"

I do love it.

"Besides this monster closet is about to come in handy."

Weeding out old clothes and shoes she makes space for me, very generously giving me exactly half the closet. Looking through her side of the closet I see a clear bag containing a long dress of dark white satin, it still has the tags on.