Vision Ch. 08

"I don't care what you say Eddie. I think this can all be traced to Dax. He put this damned Irish voodoo anklet on me and it just all blew up from there. I mean think about it? What were the odds of this happening at the same time? You two getting knocked up the night of my wedding? All those hot baths? Heat from a tub that hot should have been enough to knock that sperm count down to just about zero and yet here I sit.

I can't get this damned chain off either. I asked Dax to do it and he laughed took it off long enough to add a charm to it and put it right back on me. I'd ask one of you to do it, but honestly I can't lift my leg that high. I feel and look positively medieval.

My hair is out of control. He won't let me cut it and actually went to the salon and begged them not to either. I had the scissors in my hand to do it myself the other night and he took them from my hand and hid them, scolding me for having them near my belly. I've searched and all the scissors in the house seem to be missing. And since I can no longer reach the steering wheel, I can't drive anywhere for more. There's always the kitchen shears though.

Oh, and I almost slipped and fell in the bathroom the other day.

Admittedly, I'm glad he was there. But now I'm not allowed to even bathe alone. I haven't waxed in months and now I have all that hair down there, which he freakishly loves. He's a leg shaving, toenail painting, cake-feeding, control freak and he's driving me crazy!

He's enjoying this to no end. He just rubs me to sleep every time I'm irritable and being practically narcoleptic these days, I just keel the fuck over. I want to just be angry for one god damned minute! But he won't allow it."

Lenny drops his bottle in the trash carelessly and it clinks against something. We turn as one to look at him. What the hell man. He shrugs and smiles.

"Dax! I hear you in that kitchen, you may as well come on in here!"

We enter the room, me Lenny and Max to face 3 angry very pregnant women. They've whipped themselves into a frenzy. Lenny and Max are unwisely smirking.

"Hey Baby."

"Don't you 'Hey Baby' me? You three have been gone for almost 5 hours, anything could have happened to us here in this house."

I'm hardly fazed. Those three could take over the world if left alone long enough.

Besides, she told me to get out of her hair for a few hours, maybe I should have asked her to specify how long. I go over and rub her shoulders and she immediately relaxes and yawns and then looks at Lili and Eddie.

"See what I mean?"

We've returned prepared. "Ladies, we bought a treat."

Max goes to the kitchen and returns with a familiar box.

"Lemon Butter cake!"

They push what's left of the melon aside and have 3 tall glasses of milk and cake served on frilly pink glass dessert plates. They allow themselves a weekend indulgence of either cake or gelato but this week we've chosen for them and they seem to like it.

May 5th

"Put that cup down!"

"Yell at me again Dax and I swear to god!"

"You know better Lou."

"Oh for fucks sake man, I'm not going to drink a keg I just want a few sips of beer, it's a michelada - more lime juice than anything, not a vodka shot! I am past tired of everyone telling me what to do. Now pass the chips and guac and lay off, all of you."

"I thought that was for the party?"

"Get your own damned bowl and leave me alone!" Muttering to herself in Spanish, she looks like she'd like to do away with all of us.

"Man she is getting more evil by the minute." Says Lenny.

She takes the bowl of guacamole and chips and slowly goes into the house.

"Tell me about it, she's sleep deprived and hasn't been able to get comfortable these past few nights. Not much longer now though thank god. She's moving pretty slow today."

"No. No more empanadas. It could be from the huevos rancheros as well but I've got terrible indigestion right now. It's been circling my whole stomach and chest, like these babies are sitting on my heart. It comes in waves, it's not a totally bad thing though, I just had another fit of 'regularity' and feel 5 pounds lighter."

Eddie and Aurelia exchange looks.

"What?"

"You might be in the beginning stages of labor Lou."

"Labor?"

"Yes."

"This is indigestion, I can feel it right here", she rubs the space between the bottom of her breasts, "feels nothing like last week's false labor."

"Have it your way." Eddie lies back in her lounge chair and puts her feet up.

"I am so sick of this I can't stand it. Everyone seems to be a fucking expert on my pregnancy. Not much longer now and I can guaran-goddamn-tee you I will never do this again." She lies back and closes her eyes as I rub her feet and takes a deep breath.

"Oh that's good. Maybe I'll sleep here tonight. You can get a lounger and join me; it'll be like camping out."

"You sound sleepy bébé."

"I sound comfy is what. Comfy for the first time in what seems like forever."

"Have a little nap."

"It's bad form to fall asleep at your own party, but I don't think I can help it." She sighs and closes her eyes and true to form is asleep in seconds.

"Eddie help me out in the house for a moment, please. Somebody find Harry have him meet us inside."

"She's in labor. What's the plan?"

"I called ahead and have staff waiting. If need be you and Harry are to pick her up and put her in the damned truck and take her to the hospital."

Lou appears in the doorway. "Either I've pissed myself or my water just broke. Grab my purse and bag please. Lenny tend to the guests and clean up as best you can. As soon as I change clothes, we go. Eddie, help me get ready." She sounds a little breathless but seems calm.

We barely make it to the hospital before August Junius Wilde 7 pounds 3 oz. 23 inches is born, May 5th at 8:45 in the evening. Quick and seamless. Actually asleep when he came out, had to wake him up. He screams heartily as they quickly clean, weigh, and tag him and put him in Lulu's arms. She smells him and quickly counts the fingers and toes and looks him over.

"Oh my god Dax, look what we did. "

She spares me a quick glance but mainly has eyes only for our son. I have a son.

Her face bends in pain.

"That was another contraction Lou, it's time for round two I think, says Eddie. She's reluctant to let go but we pass the baby off to a nurse. Our baby girl's entrance was a drastically different, 3 hours of hard labor.

"Little girl's got shoulders like a line backer but she's coming on down." Say's Eddie.

Eddie leans back and looks down at her own stomach,

"Man, I am not looking forward to this in a few months." She has that what in the hell was I thinking look on her face. Which I find comical.

"Come on Lulu, she's almost here."

"I'm so fucking tired. I want to sleep. I want my mom. I want a beer. I want a divorce."

Lulu's ranting between breaths and groans. Eddie looks at me and shakes her head and waves her hand dismissively and mouths 'she doesn't mean it.'

Shoulders shaking with sobs and looking beyond miserable, she falls back exhaustedly.

"Everything looks good Lou. One or two more big pushes and she'll be here."

Says Eddie excitedly.

"I can't do anymore Ed. I can't. Is it absolutely too late for a C-section and drugs?"

"It's almost over, just a little bit more."

"Just think how easy it'll be when we have next two."

Struggling to sit up further she says, "Are you high? You must be if you think I'm letting you touch me ever again."

She looks at me in disgust.

I've heard about this but still, I'm hoping it's just the exhaustion talking. I decide to push her a buttons. "I want at least five, enough for a basketball team."

"I don't have time for your bullshit right now!" If she could kick my ass I think she would.

"At least one more, so we can have a proper ripopée."

"I so do not have time or patience for your crazy-assed Cajun speak right now Dax Wilde."

A contraction comes and she takes my hand and bears down hard folding my fingers under and with a grunt our daughter April Annelle Aurelia 6 pounds 4 ounces, 20 inches is finally born 8 minutes after midnight May 6th. Determined to have her own day I guess. Good for her.