Wait for Me

"Oh Dear, Paul I am so sorry. Take as long as you need. I don't care how long it is just come back when you are ready. Oh my, I am so sorry."

My next call was to my dad. He loved Cass as his own daughter and he was heart broken when I told him. He offered to fly down with me and I quickly accepted. When he came over we hugged for a long time. He never was an affectionate guy, but when we lost mom a few years ago he softened a lot. I called my brother and sister. They all came with me to Dallas. I was going to need all the help I could get. My best friend Chris said he would keep an eye on the house for me. His wife Joni gave me an emotional hug goodbye. Cass and her had gotten to be close friends over the last three years.

The trip to Dallas was a blur. Dad and Kyle my brother, did most of the work. My sister did all she could to keep me upright. Being the youngest of the family has it's advantages. So many older people to depend on and help me when I was practically useless with grief. Carry did her best with emotional mess I had become.

Dad and Kyle claimed her from the police and made arrangements to have her moved back home. I barely remember the trip home or even the funeral. My family crowded around me and kept me busy with things I needed to do.

After all the family and friends started to get back to their normal lives mine just kept spiraling out of control. After a few weeks I was still numb and dazed. What do you do when the biggest part of your life is suddenly ripped from you. No one knows the answer to that. That is when the nightmares started. The same one each night and each night I woke up screaming her name. Dad came to visit me one day about three weeks after the funeral. I must have looked like hell. He used his fatherly influence to get me to clean up and start living a new life without her.

"Son, when I lost your mom my world ended too. I know what you are going through. I was so angry with her for leaving me, and the pain of her absence was almost to much to bare. A couple times I got so low I almost ended it." He chuckled. "Life goes on. It's sad and unfair, but life goes on. Don't try to forget her. Don't try to replace her. Just live for her. Live for the both of you. She will always be with you, like your mom is with me." He smiled and patted me on the shoulder.

"The day before she left she asked a strange question." I said almost in tears again.

"What was the question?"

"What would I do if she died."

"What did you tell her?"

"I didn't have a good answer, but she did."

"What did she say?"

"She said if I died she would wait. Wait for me to come back or until I joined her. I promised her I would wait to the end of time for her."

"Then you should keep your promise. Keep the house and yourself ready for her return."

"But, it's so hard dad. I'm not sure I can." Tears began to fall again.

"Give her a few years to find her way son. If she isn't back by them, give her a few more."

He hugged me and just like that he was gone. I was alone again, but I had a new purpose now. I was going to wait. I was going to wait till the end of time. The nightmares stopped that night.

My dad was right, life does go on. I returned to work and started talking to my friends again. I never got even close to being back to normal. Cass' absence in my life left a huge hole in me. A hole that couldn't be filled. My life was empty for the most part. I went to work, ate, slepped, then repeated. Only the promise I made to Cass kept me going. It kept me sane and together.

On the one year anniversary of her death things started to collapse all over again. It started with a text from a number I didn't recognize . The message only said three crptic words. "Wait for me." I tried to call the number, but the line was disconnected. I tried to call the phone company to find out who it was, or if they could trace the call. I even tried to use my computer skills to find out who would send me this. I went so far as to call my dad and asked him if he had done it. He swore he would never do something so cruel to his own son. Only Cass, Dad, and I knew about what she told me. With all my leads dried up, I just left it alone.

The day after I received the text I was sitting in the cafe where we had lunch that first time. I was lost deep in thought looking out the window, when a blonde walked past. She had the wrong hair color but I knew it was Cass. I jumped up and ran to the door of the cafe and threw it open. I looked all around, but she was gone. The waitress asked me what was wrong. I guess she was scared i would leave without paying. I dropped a $20 on the table and left. That night the nightmares returned.

Then later that week I was sitting in my office looking out my window when I saw the same woman looking up at me. I was only on the second floor so I could see her fairly well. She smiled and then turned and walked away. My face was pressed up against the glass. I must be losing my damn mind. First a mysterious text, now I see her walking around town. That night again I had the nightmare.

I didn't sleep all that night and I found myself sitting at a table in our cafe sipping on a cup of strong coffee. I looked up to notice a woman looking at me. It wasn't Cass this time, but one of her coworkers. Staci was her name, and I had met her at one of the company parties Cass took me to. She was holding at cup of coffee and walked over to me.

"Paul, how are you. It's me Staci, Cassandra's friend from work." She smiled

"Hi Staci. It's good to see you. I'm doing as good as can be expected." There was an awkward silence between us.

"So I never got the chance to tell you how sorry I am that you lost Cass. She was a good friend to me. I miss her."

"Yea, she is always on my mind. I really miss her too."

Staci took a seat and looked at me longingly. She was a beautiful woman and if I wasn't so devoted to waiting on Cass, I would have asked her out. She was shorter than Cass and thicker. She wasn't fat or anything, just curvy in the right places. I had to shake my head to keep my thoughts from wondering. She must have noticed.

"Look Paul, it's been over a year. Don't you think it is time you moved on."

A jolt of anger shot through me. I wasn't trying to move on and I wasn't in the mood for another person to tell me to move on. She recoiled from the intense look I had on my face.

"Sorry Paul, it must still be painful for you. I didn't mean to upset you." She stood up and turned to leave. She paused for a moment and turned back.

"Look have diner with me tonight. We'll talk about Cass and everything she meant to us. I won't take no for an answer." I really didn't know what to do, but I figured diner wouldn't hurt.

"Ok, Staci. Where and when?"

"Chino's at 7. We can have diner and talk."

"I'll be there. See you later."

"Looking forward to it. And again Paul, I'm sorry."

She turned and was out the door before I could accept her apology. What the hell was I doing? It must be because I am so damn confused right now. I went back to work and tried to finish up a few projects that afternoon. My mind for the first time in a year thought about another woman other than my wife. I quickly ushered those thoughts to the exit of my mind. My heart, my mind, and my very soul only had enough room for Cass. I would go to diner with Staci but only to talk about Cass. As I made my way home, my mind wondered to Staci again and I instantly felt as though I cheated on Cass. I decided I needed to stop and see her.

My car pulled into the cemetery parking lot. I made the short walk to her grave. On the stone there was a picture of us together. It was rose colored and it had her name on one side. My name was on the other. I stood there and looked at the old photo. I remembered all the fun and wonderful times we had. I needed to tell her what I was going to do.

"Cass, my love, I miss you so much. I'm trying to wait for you, but is so hard. Harder than I would ever have imagined. I love you and you being gone has left a hole in me so big it almost consumes me. I don't know what to do anymore. You should know that I am going to meet a woman from your work at diner tonight. I swear to you nothing will come of it. I won't even touch her. I just need to talk to someone about you." The tears were flowing profusely now. "No one can fill the emptiness in my heart but you my love. I will wait for you, until the end of time. Like I have always promised. Hurry home to me. I love you."

Tears still stinging my eyes, I made my way back to my car. The journey home was short and I still had time to mess around a bit. I decided to take a shower. The warm water was a welcome feeling on my skin. My emotions were raw and my body didn't feel much better. The dream had taken it's tole on me. I showered and dried off, resisting the urge to rub one out before my diner with Staci. If I was honest with myself it was because I didn't want the chance of Staci creeping into my thoughts as I stroked myself.

It was six and I started to get ready. I put on a pair of kakies and a button up blue shirt. Cass always said I looked good in blue. She said it brought out the blue in my eyes. I guess that was my most striking feature. I was six foot and with brown hair. I kept in shape even after her death. It was just another example of how deeply my life was tied to hers. The only major change I guess is I had grown a beard since she died.

I grabbed my keys and got into the car. I sat there for a moment wondering if this was the right thing. Was I cheating on Cass if I had diner with another woman. I know it sounds weird thinking I would be cheating on her, but I just didn't feel right about this. I decided to go ahead and do it and then never again.

Chino's was this high end Mexican restaurant that was very popular. It had a bar on one side and a full five star restaurant on the other. Of course you could order drinks from the bar with your food if you wanted. It was decorated with a tex mex decor and even had a band on the weekends.

I walked in and looked for Staci. I spotted her in a booth and told the hostess I was with her. She lead me to the table and smiled at me as she excused herself. Staci looked beautiful and I could tell she had pulled out all the stops to look her best.

"Hi. I'm glad you came." Her smile put me at ease.

"Me too. I guess it has been a while since I've been out. Almost forgot how to dress." She giggled at my joke.

It seemed to break the tension in the air. We talked for a long time, exchanging stories about Cass and our shared experiences. She told me stories about Cass at work that had me rolling. Eventually as most conversations go, ours turned to a sexual nature.

"So, Paul are you seeing anyone?"

"No, I haven't been out with anyone but family for quite a while. I just don't know if I ever could."

"Well, don't you think it is about time you tried. I mean you have to be frustrated by now. I couldn't imagine going a whole year without some intimacy." She had the look of a woman on the prowl. My guard went up instantly.

"I have no desire to try and replace Cassandra. She was the love of my life and no one could take her place."

"I'm not talking about replacing her. I'm talking about having a little fun."

"Well, I just don't feel like it. It feels weird to even talk about it."

"I understand. It feels like betraying her."

"Exactly. I just can't bring myself to do it."

"Well, I won't push you into anything. We can just be friends. You don't feel bad about being friends do you?"

"Not at all."

"Good, now a good friend would give another friend a ride home after she has had to much to drink." She smiled again.

"I guess it would be something a friend would do. Where do you live?"

"Oh a few miles from here. To far to walk and not far enough to get a cab."

We paid the check and she hopped into my car. The drive home was lively with more stories about Cass and her work life. Staci just wouldn't drop the sex talk though.

"You know Cass used to brag about how great you are in bed."

"She did did she? Well, she was pretty fantastic too."

"To tell you the truth I was kinda wanting to try you out and see for myself. You put an end to that though."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be a jerk about it."

"It's ok. Like I said I understand. It would be like betraying her." We pulled up to her building and I put the car into park.

"You sure you don't want to come up for a night cap?"

"I appreciate the offer but no."

"Well, I tried to be nice Paul, but I guess you are taking the hard road."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"This." She pulled out a tazer and before I could react she tazed me.

I didn't immediately go out, but I could barely move. My movements were sluggish as I tried to defend myself. She gave me another jolt and out I went.

The first thing I remember as I came back to the world of the living is my head felt like it had been ran over. In an attempt to try and comfort my splitting headache I found my hands tied behind my back. It took me a second to remember what had happened. A jolt of fear ran through me as I realized I had been kidnapped. I looked around the small room in an attempt to figure out what to do. The room was bare except the chair I was sitting in and the light coming from the ceiling.

Where the hell was I? Before I could make any attempt to figuring a way out I heard a click and a swish of the air. A door was behind me and it had just opened up. I could hear footsteps walking towards me, they were slow and light. My heart started to race.

"Look who's awake. You probably have one hell of a headache." Staci stepped into view. "I bet you're even more confused. Don't worry I'll unconfuse you." She leaned down and smiled.

She had changed into a pair of skin tight black spandex and a black tank top. She had this evil grin across her lips, and the look she gave me sent a chill down my back.

"First, you must be wondering what this is all about." She straightened up and began to pace side to side in front of me. "It's has to do with your wife and her job."

"What about Cass? What about her job? All she did was inspect old buildings."

"I'm not talking about the inspection job. I'm talking about her job as a spy. The job where she stole secrets from other governments."

"My wife a spy?"

"Yea, I know it sounds crazy, but it is true. She isn't even really your wife."

"Not my wife? But there was a ceremony and a preacher and her family."

"All fake."

"You're lying." I spat at her. My voice holding all the contempt I had for her.

"Believe me, I wish I were. She was exceptional at convincing the fake husband that she was just this engineering expert for some stupid consulting firm."

"I don't believe you. You're just telling me this to get me to tell you something."

"Haha, and what is it exactly that you know that you could tell us?"

"I don't know."

"Haha, I hate to tell you this Paul, but it has nothing to do with what you know. You're a smart guy, but it's not you I'm after. You're just bait for the prey."

"What prey?"

"Well, your wife of course."

"But she's dead. She's not coming to get me." I said angrily.

"Haha, you see you don't know much about this wonderful wife of yours. She is very much alive, and you are going to bring her to me."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because I have no reason to lie to you. What would lying to you do for me?"

"She's alive?"

"Yes she is, and when she comes for you I'm going to kill her."

"Why? What do you want her for? What did she do to you to make you hate her so much?"

"To me personally. Nothing. But the people who hired me want her dead and that is what I excel at."

"What makes you think she will come for me? She hasn't been around for a year."

"Because the marriage may have been fake, but the love wasn't. I wasn't joking when I told you she used to brag about how good you were in bed. She loved you so much that she tried to resign many times just to be with you."

"Why didn't they let her?"

"You don't just quit the CIA. She had to stay until all the cases she was working on got resolved."

"Then why did she fake her death? The police report said there was no doubt it was her."

"Well, one of her little trips over seas kinda went bad and her cover was blown. Then there was the mole that leaked vital information to the wrong people. Those wrong people started to target families of the agents. Cassandra faked her death to keep you from harm. You were the next target and she was protecting you. She had to stay in hiding until everything blew over and then she would come back."

"I'm guessing you were the mole."

"You are a smart guy. Now that you know everything, you are going to do something for me." She stood right in front of me. The door swung open again and some guys carrying some video equipment came in and started setting it all up.

"What's that?"

"You are going to make a little video begging your wife to come and rescue you."

"Not a chance. I just found out she is still alive and I won't ask her to come here and die, even if it cost me my life."

"Oh how noble, but if you won't beg her to come we'll just beat it out of you."

One of the men stepped forward and looked me in the eyes. He was large and he probably hit like a hammer, but I wasn't budging. They turned on the camera and pointed it straight at me.

"I'm only going to ask one more time. We can do this the easy way or the hard way." She said smiling.

"Fuck you!"

"Hmm, such a dirty mouth. OK do it, but keep him alive. We need something left for her to rescue." Staci obviously not wanting to watch, left the room. The very large guy walked up to me and chuckled.

"You've got spirit, I'll give you that. Now it's time I broke it." For a big guy he was quick. I didn't even see the first swing come at me.

There was a sharp pain and then dizziness as my head flew to the side. I'm sure I had a concussion but I didn't have time to think as the second blow sent my head swinging to the other side. I was so disoriented, I don't even remember the third or anything after that. I welcomed the blackness and accepted that it would all be over soon.

I don't know exactly how long I was out, but I woke to a wet sensation covering my body. Cold water cascaded all over me, and while it was a relief. It did little to stop the throbbing pain I felt all over. There was arguing going on that I was barely aware of. My head was still foggy and it hurt to concentrate.

"I said to leave him alive, you almost killed him. We need him alive you idiots."

I couldn't open my right eye from the swelling. My left eye could barely focus on the room and the people in it. Staci was standing facing away from me towards the camera. She was saying something that I couldn't quite make out. Then she turned and waved a hand at me.

"If you don't come and get him, we'll be doing this to him everyday. Until either he dies or you show up. I don't think he can survive another beating like this."

The camera went off and Staci walked behind me. She undid my restraints and I tried to stand up and run. I only succeeded in falling flat on my face. In a haze I felt myself being lifted and then drug out the door and into another room. I was unceremoniously thrown onto a cot and covered with a blanket. Staci came closer and knelt down beside me.

"I'm sorry my friends got out of hand. They get carried away sometimes. The video should be delivered some time tonight. I think the whole noble husband bit will probably work in our favor. I went on and on about how you wouldn't cooperate. Cass should be on her way by dawn. Don't worry I'll make it quick."

I couldn't talk or I would have called her a lying traitorous whore. I just laid there and let the darkness take me. I was in and out for what seemed like hours. Staci was in and out of my little cell talking with the others in her group. How many were there? Why would they want to take on the CIA? It sounded like craziness to me. Doesn't the CIA have army contacts and support? They could be fighting a whole battalion of troops. I just hoped I didn't get killed in the crossfire. I would die for Cass, but that didn't mean I wanted to. I wanted to live and hold her in my arms again. I wanted to make love to her beautiful body, and cuddle with her soul. Sorry, it's the concussions. Didn't mean to get all cutesy wootsy on ya. Let's just say I was desperate to see her again.