All Comments on 'Waking Up Daddy Pt. 01'

Proofread and edit!

Proof read your work, fix the grammar and the punctuation. There is such a thing as spell check if you can't do it yourself. I gave it one star until you fix those amateur mistakes.

I think besides the grammar and spelling this is a wonderful start to a grate storie. And I look forward to more

You didn't just write sex, it was love and devotion. Very beautiful.

I truly love your way of writing the devotion and love of a sweet, adoring girl for her Daddy. The sensual oral sex is really well paced and the ending on this little story was SO hot.

But I agree with others who have pointed out the technical issues with your writing.

I will only add that every paragraph is roughly identical in size. Try breaking them up. Short - long - dialogue etc.

Also, try a story in third person. Though you are rocking the first person POV so far.

AND if you want to really turn up the heat, throw in some conflict. E.g. Daddy is unsure, resists...but daughter wants him no matter how wrong it is. Finally, gets her way, and Daddy gives up fighting their love and lust for each other.

You could easily dominate your sub niche of Daddy/Daughter erotic love. Adding you to my favorites because I want to see what you write next. Good luck and thanks for sharing!

So erotic and well written. Amazing oral sex got my heart beating faster and a catch in my breath! I want more! Can't wait for part 2!

Very good! Write more!