What Was I Thinking? The Beginning

A wave of panic quickly swept over me as I realized what he meant by those words. We kissed furiously for a while and just relaxed and settled down. Before I knew it my legs were wrapped around his waist and I could feel his big thick rod sliding over my own.

Soon he was lubing us both up and he was between my legs pointing fat cock at my hole. He held my legs wide while positioned his monster at my hole. I convinced myself that if he could take it, so could I.

After a few gentle nudges, which felt like gentle kiss on my hole, there was more pressure. Then more pressure. Jorge takes his time, which I certainly appreciate.

His eyes are locked onto mine as he rocks back and forth. Then he pulls me toward him by my thighs which jams his cock into my unsuspecting hole before I'd had a chance to tense up. With a blinding flash of pain bolting up my spine all I do was grip the bed with both hands. No one could have convinced me that I wasn't being ripped apart.

I just gritted my teeth and waited for the pain calm down. It took a while, but soon I was okay again. There was certainly still pain, but not nearly as bad as before. Jorge started to inch himself into me slowly. As he did, I managed to get my legs wrapped around his hips. He hauled himself over me and started to fuck that big dick inside me.

None of it was as painful as that initial breach, however it seemed like my hole was being stretched wider and wider with every forward thrust. And there seemed to be no end to the length of it. It felt like he was rearranging my internal organs with that giant rod of his.

The burning in my ass was soon forgotten when I felt wild sort of pressure that made me think I was on the verge of shooting my second load. The sensation was just too much. I asked him to stop, then almost immediately I was begging him to go again. Clearly he'd found my prostate and it was making me crazy. Soon I had my ankles locked behind his back and was reaching for his ass to urge him on.

It was amazing how good it felt now. To be stuffed so full of him. And he was still adding inches as he pumped my ass. Deeper and deeper he drove until finally he was resting fully on top of me. I could only assume that meant that he was all the way in. Because there was a sort of numbness at my asshole. All I could really feel was that huge dick throbbing inside me.

Then came the real fucking. He wrapped his arms around me and began kissing me as he pummeled my ass. Each withdrawal of that monster cock was like loosing something really good, then he'd squeeze it back into me. This was most extraordinary. He was now in charge of the sensations that were driving me wild. Back and forth he pounded constantly and I found myself holding on tightly to him, hoping desperately that he wouldn't stop.

Having a fat cock up inside you certainly turns the whole sexual experience around for you. I couldn't believe how incredible this felt. My rock hard cock was jerking wildly on my belly and I longed to reach down and stroke it, but Jorge kept my hands at bay. All I could do was grind my hips into his with each stroke.

Then it happened, suddenly I couldn't catch my breath. Bang! My cock fired all on its own. This was more than I could take. I wrapped my arms and legs around him tightly and humped him furiously. I could still feel his cock sliding in and out of me and I could see it in my mind's eye. Then I felt him tense up as well. He started ramming me full speed and I could feel that huge flesh column pulsing and jerking inside me. By now my orgasm was subsiding, but he was still going strong. Nailing my ass to the bed and gripping me as tightly as I'd been gripping him.

Finally we both calmed down and suddenly I couldn't bear to have him inside me any longer. Jorge's cock wasn't shrinking and it was causing me a great deal of pain now. I pushed him back from me and he took the hint. With one final flex of his cock muscle he withdrew it quickly. Yet it still felt like I had a gapping hole down there.

I had to get up to see if I could still walk. Just barely. My legs were weak and my ass burned like crazy. I got some warm towels to clean us up. Soon we were all cuddled up together again and before I knew it Jorge was snoring in my arms. I drift off shortly after that.

The next morning when I awoke, I felt a sudden sense of doom. I opened my eyes but just lay there motionless for a long while thinking. It rarely ever turns out well when you get drunk with a friend and then have sex.

Had I let my lust ruin a good friendship? Would things be different between me and Jorge now? Well, its certainly too late to worry about that now. What's done is done. I went to move and suddenly realized that I actually couldn't. Jorge had me pinned down under his arm and shoulder. Thankfully, he was still asleep.

I eased myself out from under, trying not to wake him. As I got up and put on some shorts, I heard him stir. I ignoring it and headed off to the bathroom. As I stood there taking a whiz, I knew I should be happy about last night. It had been great, but now I was filled with anxiety. And my ass still burned.

When I came back into the room, Jorge had propped himself up on his elbows and was looking directly at me.

"Good morning." He smiled.

"Morning." I said, not looking back at him. I reached for a tee shirt to put on.

"Hey?" He probed.

"Yeah?"

"Something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong." I answered, shaking my head and still not looking at him.

"Then come over here."

I went over to the bed where he pulled me down on top of him. He gave me a quick peck on the lips and drew me into his arms. Clearly things were alright between us, so I just relaxed and lay my head down on his chest. He gently stroked the side of my head and back.

"You alright this morning?" He asked.

"Yeah, just a little hung over." I told him. "I was going to make some coffee. You want to take a shower while I go do that?"

"Maybe in a little while. I just want to lay here with you for a bit." He said, hugging me closer. "Is that alright?"

I nodded my head and stroked his chest. Now this was definitely a good sign. Everything was still cool between us despite last night's activities. I could actually feel the tension in my body evaporate. He breathed deeply and I soon settled into his breathing rhythm.

We didn't wake up again until about noon. He stayed all day and helped me clean up after yesterday's party. Everything seemed back to normal between us, except for one small detail. We couldn't seem to keep our hands off each other.

That evening as we reclined on the sofa, me between his legs and laying back onto his chest, I started to wonder what had brought about this sudden change in him.

As it turns out, his ex-wife had been one of monogamy's biggest enemies. He told me jokingly that her middle name was "infidelity". And I told him about my controlling and difficult to get along with ex- girlfriend. I told him that her middle name was "bitch".

"So, you're saying your wife's infidelity made you start having sex with men?" I asked.

"Are you being deliberately obtuse?" He laughed. "Of course not. I had sex with both men and women long before I ever met my wife. However you are the first person since the divorce."

"So, why me?"

"I suppose the simplest answer is that I am attracted to you. And not just physically. You became my friend and then I became attracted to you. But there was no way of knowing what your opinions were on the matter, until I saw you with Jake."

"Oh, yeah. Forgot about that."

"Yes, and then there was your very moving confession in the bathroom. It really touched me that you felt compelled to share your most intimate secret with me. That must have been very difficult for you."

"So you had no idea that I was attracted to you before then?"

"Men are attracted to each other all the time. Each of them sees within the other something that they like or admire. That's why they become friends, but it doesn't necessarily mean they're interested in having sex with each other." Jorge told me. "And you never made your attraction plain to me. It would have been remiss of me to make any presumptions on the matter.

"Wow! You are such a grown up." I said. "But I get your point."

Over the following weeks Jorge and I behaved pretty much as we had before. Except that now we slept together most nights. We even discussed living together, but decided that perhaps it wasn't a good idea. Not just yet anyway. So we had a lot of sleepovers.

The curious thing is that, even though neither of us spoke the words, we were definitely faithful to each other. However, we never referred to ourselves as a couple or anything of that nature. Not even in private.

There's a weird phenomenon that has always amazed me. It seems that whenever you are really happy with someone, suddenly everyone around you seems to find you irresistible.

All of sudden, everywhere I turned opportunities for sex were presenting themselves. I was even propositioned by two students. Jorge dealt with this sort of thing all the time so he was able to advise me on the most tactful way to handle situations like that.

"How could you not have seen this coming?" He chuckled. "Lots students will sleep with you for a grade. However, in the case of a man as good looking as you, well, its very likely that some of them have genuine crushes. It's inevitable."

"I don't know, I guess I just never really paid much attention." I told him. "I'm just so busy with all of this outside work."

"It's the faculty members that you should be worried about." He teased. "As I understand it, several of them are very interested in you."

"What?" I exclaimed. "Who? And how do you know?"

"Many of them have asked me personally." He chuckled. "You know, with us being such good friends and all."

"And just what do you tell them?" I inquired.

"Well, Carol Briar seems to be leading the pack right now, but Bruce Jamison in the math department has been asking a lot of questions lately as well."

"Stop kidding." I told him.

"I'm dead serious." Jorge said. "You seem to have developed quite a little cult following."

"And this amuses you why?"

"Oh, don't worry so much. Jamison's under the impression that you're some sort of religious zealot, although that may not stop him trying. And the ladies all believe you're a shy, introverted workaholic. Unfortunately, most of them find that adorable."

"Jesus, enough already. I can't believe you told them all that." I grumbled. "Stop helping, please."

Apparently, this was hilariously funny to him.

"Ah, the tragic curse of sex appeal." He chided me. "My God, you should be flattered."

"What department did you say Bruce was in?" I teased him now.

"Alright, now that's really not funny! I'm certain that Bruce would not like to find out what I do to poachers."

"Ah, vague threats. Perplexing, but sweet. Now I am flattered." I laughed. "Poachers? What's that about? What am I, a Siberian tiger?"

"Oh, I think you take my meaning well enough." He smiled.

Even Jake's been calling me up lately. He's even stopped by unannounced a few times. It wasn't too difficult to keep things on a strictly friendly basis with him. More than anything though, Jake just liked to talk.

He finally confessed what had happened to him all those months ago. It seems that late evening he'd spent with me had caused him no end of trouble with his girlfriend. Apparently, she's not very stable. Neither emotionally nor mentally. According to Jake, she freaked out when he got home that night. Eventually she went into full meltdown mode.

Jake had finally had to admit her to a hospital and then some other things happened that I really didn't pay much attention to, but the important thing is that I gave the appearance of listening. I felt sort of sorry for him.

"Dude, why don't you just leave her?" I asked him.

"I don't know, I just feel so sorry for her sometimes. Besides she only came out here to be with me. If I just leave her, no one else is going to take care of her." He said. "I just don't have it in me to be that heartless."

"Well, send her back home?"

"Home? Hell, her parents were glad to finally be rid of her."

"Is she violent?"

"Sometimes. But there's mood leveling medication to keep that in check."

"I gotta tell you man, this sounds bad."

"You're telling me?" He retorted. "Can we change the subject?"

We talked for a while longer and drank a few beers before he decided that he'd better get back and check on her.

Evidently, as he was leaving he passed Jorge in the drive.

"I passed Jake on the way in." He said evenly. "How's he doing?"

"Hmmm, not so good I'm afraid."

I told him what Jake had relayed me about his girlfriend. His reaction was apathetic at best. And although I had yet to see him pissed off or even in a bad mood thus far, I could tell something was not quite right with him. I was pretty sure what it was.

"Something on your mind?" I asked.

He just shrugged his shoulders and went out onto the deck. I poured up both a scotch, then followed him out there.

Offering him the drink, I said, "Listen Jorge, Jake and I are just friends now. I've made it clear to him how things are between you and I. He seems to just need someone to talk to now and then."

"Uh huh." He said, not even bothering to look in my direction.

His uncharacteristically petulant response ticked me off.

I had no intention of apologizing or making any excuses for some alleged, yet unspoken transgression. Nor for anything that I might actually have done. Those days are over. I am done with trying to live up to other people's expectations and dealing with their insecurities and delusions. Life's too fucking short.

"Well, I'll tell you what, you can believe what I tell you or don't. That's your prerogative." I said, suppressing my hostility. "I've been honest with you thus far and that's all I can offer. If that's not sufficient, well then do what you have to do."

With that, I turned and went back inside. I sat down at my desk and focused my attention on the computer screen. Jorge came in a seconds later. He sat on the bar stool nearest my desk.

"I trust you." Was all he said.

A few seconds later I looked over at him and gave him a quick wink and a smile. That was the last time we ever had to speak about issues of trust.

That evening's fuck session was exceptionally good. Jorge had mastered the art of deep-throating, however I wasn't sure that I'd ever be able to reciprocate. He was simply too large. Our cocks are about the same length, but his has more girth.

We fucked and sucked for hours in almost every position imaginable. I think some of the stuff we did is still illegal in most states.

For some people, getting fucked by a really big dick can become rather addictive. Especially if that dick is owned by a cocksman who is as good as Jorge. Anything less tends to be, well, a bit disappointing.

Personally, I could do without it altogether. I really don't care to get fucked by any sized dick. However, Jorge seems to dig it and I can never get enough of fucking his ass. And well, fair is fair, so we trade ass fucks. I really doubt that I will ever give it up to anyone else but Jorge.

A few days later Jorge informed me that he had to attend some sort seminar or conference in New York. He tried to convince me to come along, but there was no way I could do it with the fast approaching deadline on my current project. Besides, there wasn't enough time to find anyone to cover my class. Him, being a full professor, he had access to quite a few associate and assistant professors who were more than willing to cover his classes. Brown nosing bastards, the lot of them.

"How long you gone for?"

"Two weeks."

"I could maybe fly out for a weekend." I told him.

So I did. We had a really good time together. We decided that over the next break we'd have to go somewhere more tropical, like one of the Caribbean Islands, or maybe Hawaii.

Anyway, when I got home on Sunday afternoon, I didn't even bother to unpack. I just crashed on the sofa. I awoke to the sound of the phone ringing.

"Hello?"

"Hey, its Jake."

"What's up Jake?"

"Uh, I'm in kind of jam. Can you come down to the police station and bail me out?"

On the way back Jake told me the whole sordid story. Seems he'd finally had enough of his girlfriend's erratic behavior and was packing to leave when she attacked him. While he was trying to fend her off she got a few bumps and bruises, then called the police and had him charged with domestic violence.

"Well, obviously you can't go back there."

"No."

"Alright, you'll stay at my place until you can get this all straighten out. Sound good?"

"Yeah." He said quietly. "And Craig, thanks."

We got Jake all set up in the loft that overlooks the living room. There wasn't much up there besides a futon, so I went out the next day to buy a privacy screen and some other stuff to make it into a more comfortable living space. I'd been planning to do that anyway, I just hadn't gotten around to it. Now it was done and Jake was most appreciative.

Eventually Jake was going to have to go over to his old place to pick up his things. For that he needed a police escort. I went along with him to lend a hand and provide moral support. Besides, I was curious to see this psychotic girlfriend.

Unfortunately she wasn't there when we arrived. Or maybe that was a good thing. She had done a great deal of damage to most of his clothes and many of his personal items.

Jake was crestfallen. He looked utterly humiliated and defeated. We gathered up what was salvageable and got the hell out of there.

I consoled Jake as best I could, while wondering how I would explain this all to Jorge. Well, he wasn't due back for another few days. I'd cross that bridge when I got to it.

Meanwhile, Jake was very depressed. He moped around the house like a sad old dog. I did my best to pick up his spirits, which meant getting him out of the house. We went out to lunch together and walked on the beach. I even got him out to a few clubs. Anything to help him shake off the malaise that was plaguing him.

Late one evening, just as I was drifting off to sleep, I glance over and saw Jake standing in my bedroom doorway.

"What's wrong dude?"

He didn't say anything. I turned on the bedside light and went over to him. He had his head down, but I could tell that he'd been crying.

"Mind if I sleep with you tonight?" He asked softly.

"Oh boy, that's really not a good idea." I thought to myself. But he was obviously in pain and I am such an easy mark when it comes to tears. They get to me every time.

"Sure."

The next day was Saturday and Jake didn't seem in any better shape than the night before. We ate breakfast out on the deck looking at the ocean. We didn't say much, just ate and watched the waves lap at the shore.

Jorge was due back any day now and I was thinking about what was going to happen when he returned.

Just then the front gate buzzer rang. I got up to go see who it was.

"You expecting company?" Jake asked.

"Its probably Jorge." I said, then I remember that he had a key.

Why would he be ringing the buzzer. Unless he'd forgotten them. But clearly the bigger issue here was that I was going to have to deal with the whole 'Jake staying here' situation right this minute.

Whatever.

I opened the door and looked down the stairs. It was a woman that I'd never seen before.

"Can I help you?" I called down the steps.

"Is Jake here? I see his truck in the drive."

Then it occurred to me who this must be. It must be Jake's girlfriend.

"How the hell did she know where I lived?" I wondered.

"Just a second." I called down to her.

I wasn't about to just let some psychopath into my house.