When You Know Ch. 05

For the next few weeks, the only people who were aware she was pregnant were Emma and Rebecca. Both encouraged her to tell Joe before he left. She tried to think of every possible scenario; she even contemplating moving to London to be with him. But she knew that wouldn't work; he would be so busy with his new job, traveling and meeting new people that he wouldn't be able to make the time for her or the baby, no matter how hard he tried. It wouldn't be fair to him, and Vicky would just end up alone in a foreign city without any support system.

So she made the decision not to tell him, at least not yet. She wanted him to go to London, to enjoy his new life and job. He didn't deserve to be saddled with this added responsibility right now. When he was settled there, she would tell him; after the baby was born.

He would probably hate her; but she felt it was best this way. She wanted Joe to be a part of the baby's life; she wanted his family to be a part of it. Not only did they deserve it; her baby deserved to have those wonderful people in its life. But there were too many complications to telling them now; she would have to do this on her own, at least for the time being.

Vicky had no intention of telling her parents; at least until she absolutely had to. This was the other thing Vicky was sure of: she was never letting her parents ruin her own child's happiness. She would do everything she could to prevent that, even if that meant cutting herself off from them permanently, like Emma had with her parents.

She also did not tell the other partners yet either; she would wait for the case to be over, then let them know. She also would tell them at that time her other decision; she would be leaving the firm. She no longer wanted this life; for her or her baby. Vicky would stay until she was ready to go on maternity leave, and would simply never come back after. With her nest egg money and the repayment of her junior equity, she would have more than enough to take care of both of them while she figured out her next career step.

She found herself in a fateful meeting with the other partners a few days later. Vicky was meeting with the two senior partners in the firm.

"Great news Vicky," one of them started. "We got a settlement offer from the plaintiffs. Thanks to your hard work, they backed off the amount by another 25%. It's now about half of what our client would have been willing to pay. They're thrilled to be getting off that easy, and it's all thanks to you."

"Wonderful," was Vicky's emotionless reply. She subconsciously rubbed her stomach under the table as the partners spoke to her. She felt terrible now, because of her those families would not be getting anywhere near the compensation they should have. Vicky wondered what Joe would think; what her baby would think. They would both be ashamed of her, she knew with certainty, because she was ashamed of herself.

"Vicky, you still with us?" one of the partners asked, seeing her faraway look.

"Sure," she replied, snapping back into reality.

"Well, we have some other great news too, Vicky," the other partner said excitedly.

"We're ready to make a formal recommendation to the other partners that you be granted the title of Senior Partner. We're ready to make this firm Jenkins, Riley and Mullen."

Vicky sat there, silently at first. For almost 15 years, this was the only thing she ever wanted; finally she had it. There was just one problem; the thought of it now, of being associated with this for the next 30 years of her life, sickened her. No matter how much money she earned, she couldn't live with being someone whose career consisted of helping terrible people pay slightly smaller amounts to settle cases brought about by their misdeeds.

"Vicky, what do you say?" the partners asked, figuring her answer was a mere formality.

Vicky rubbed her belly one more time, smiled, and answered, as if a weight was being lifted from her.

"It's a generous offer," Vicky started. "Truly it is, and I'll always be grateful for the opportunity you gave me here. But I'm going to have to pass on it."

"You're...what?" both said, not believing they heard her right. No one turns down a name partnership.

"I'm passing," Vicky said with certainty. "I'm resigning from the firm. I don't want to do this anymore."

"Is it the additional equity, because we can work with you on that," one asked. Surely she didn't just want to quit; she must have an angle...she was Henry Mullen's daughter after all.

"No, I could meet that amount," Vicky answered. "I just don't want to."

"So, you're just giving this all up, for what?" the other asked incredulously. "No one gives this up willingly."

"Well, I do," Vicky said. "I'm giving it up. I can't imagine this as my life anymore. I don't want to, so you should find someone who does."

After a few more minutes of futile attempts to convince her, the partners gave up for the moment, figuring she would change her mind. After a few more days of waiting, they had no choice but to move on, and begin negotiating a repayment of her equity contribution. In the meantime, Vicky agreed to leave the firm; she was ready to concentrate on the baby anyway.

On her last day, Rebecca came into her office.

"The associates got you this stupid gift, because they're not so secretly happy you're leaving," Rebecca stated, handing her a simple coffee mug with "World's Best Boss" inscribed on it. "I got you this, because I know why you're really leaving, and I'll miss you." Rebecca handed her a beautifully wrapped present.

Vicky opened it, and held back tears as she saw what was in there. It was a cute little onesie, with "Future Lawyer" written on the front. "Given their parents, that little one's future seems set in stone," she added with a smile.

"I'm gonna miss you Becks," Vicky said with a hug for Rebecca. "Sorry to be leaving you like this, I hear you're getting Chris Lawton now." Chris was known as the hardest associate on his assistants, almost as bad as Vicky once was.

"If I broke you in, he'll be a piece of cake," Rebecca laughed. "Anyway, I'll still be around for you, but as a friend now. I want to hear everything there is to know about that little one inside you."

"Thanks, Becks," Vicky said. "You're the best."

Vicky packed up her things and left her office for the final time. She had no regrets or second thoughts; she knew this was the right thing to do. As she made her way home, she realized she wasn't any closer to happiness though. There was only one person she wanted to talk about this with, to share her excitement about figuring out the next phase of her life; to talk about the baby.

She stared at the phone in her kitchen, ready to dial the number she had nearly dialed so many times in the last 6 weeks. But, sadly, she never could bring herself to do it.

"Soon, my love," she spoke toward the phone, as if he could hear her. "You'll be a part of this baby's life. Just not yet."

With that, Vicky sat on her couch and sobbed, for what she had lost. Starting tomorrow, she would try to focus on what she had, namely the life growing inside her.

But tonight, she wanted one more night to be sad. Then, life had to go on, for everyone: her, the baby, and for Joe.