All Comments on 'Who I Am Ch. 01'

No, Karen. No, you haven't.

I find it hard to sympathize with her. Don't get me wrong: Carter was a total asshole for cheating on her. I can see why he did, but that doesn't make it right. Nothing does.

Still (go ahead and call me an asshole for saying it, I guess I am), it's a small wonder why he and every guy before him left her. I mean, really, this line here says it all:

"I know it is crazy to think if I drink one sip of alcohol I will become an alcoholic or if I have sex I will become an addict running to all who offer when my man is spent. But, I am who I am and I am afraid of what I'm afraid of. If I believe the veil of marriage will help protect my loyalties in the area of sexuality, either you accept it or you don't."

She knows that she has a problem, but she doesn't seem to have been willing to try to fix it. And again, don't get me wrong: I have nothing against abstinence, but in her case it seems as though she's taken it up only because she's afraid of cheating on her significant other if it turns out that she really likes sex.

Because married people NEVER cheat, right?

Okay, so she has an addictive personality, so I guess I can see where that fear is coming from. Personally, I think that fear is irrational, and quite frankly, stupid (I mean really, becoming an alcoholic from ONE sip of alcohol?), but I can see where it's coming from. But again, being married isn't gonna change a damn thing if her fear is realized. If she becomes as sex crazed as she thinks she will, she'll just end up fucking around anyway. Being married to someone DOES NOT mean you're loyal and committed to them. Wedding rings are NOT magical devices that make you so, and the vows are NOT binding, unbreakable contracts.

Once more, don't get me wrong: I want to get married one day myself, but ultimately, nothing changes with marriage (relationship wise). It might seem to, but it doesn't make a relationship any stronger than it was prior. You don't need rings or a wedding to love someone with all your heart and stick with them through the thick and thin until death does you part. At the end of the day, marriage is a legal recognition of your relationship to someone, not some magic thing that makes you love somebody more. If that were the case, divorce wouldn't be as common as it is.

But I digress.

Getting back to my original point, Karen has a problem, and instead of working on it, she's taken a "it is what it is" attitude towards it, and expects the men in her life to do the same. But this particular problem and the way she goes about it...it's not healthy and it's not fair to them. This is nothing to be going into a relationship with.

I'm not certain that I have the skill to really articulate the point I'm trying to make here, but I'll try to make it anyway: This is like getting into a relationship with someone who's been fucked over too many times. They're bitter and they're expecting to you be no different from their exes. You try so hard to hold on, but eventually you get sick of walking onto all of those fucking mines.

If you're like Carter and you're aware of the problem, you're bringing that shit on yourself if you stay. But at the same time, the person flinging said shit shares the blame for things falling apart as well. If you aren't willing to trust, you have absolutely no business being in a relationship. All you're doing is wasting time and potentially hurting the other person.

In Karen's case, again, I don't think that she's really abstinent. I think her tendency to overindulge has her scared and she's somehow convinced herself that she won't become a cheating nymphomaniac if she has sex with a man after she's married him. Considering that this fear is what caused her past relationships to fail, she really needs to work on this and get past it before she even considers getting together with somebody else.

But...

"I know it is crazy to think if I drink one sip of alcohol I will become an alcoholic or if I have sex I will become an addict running to all who offer when my man is spent. But, I am who I am and I am afraid of what I'm afraid of. If I believe the veil of marriage will help protect my loyalties in the area of sexuality, either you accept it or you don't."

It doesn't sound like she's willing to do that.

"My problem is I am always running into the don'ts."

That brings an old quote to mind: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

You're always running into the don'ts. Why, Karen? Why do you think that they all turned out to be don'ts?

In my opinion, the abstinence is not the issue here.

Please don't have her take that "all of my past relationships have failed because all men are sex crazy bastards" road.

Dear Anonymous,

Thank very much for your insightful post. I hope its length was a testament to how much you enjoyed the story. I think you will enjoy where the story goes. I look forward to hearing from you soon. The next post will be in a few days!

To be quite honest, I didn't enjoy this. The breakup, the way Karen handled it...

Mainly the bit where she forced herself onto Carter. That made me like her a whole lot less. And that's not even saying anything of how she tried to change his mind and make him choose her. Cheaters are never worth the effort. They might say they're sorry and all that bullshit, but that's exactly what it is: Bullshit.

And I think I've said enough about her lack of intent to change.

Right now, I have a very low opinion of Karen. She SHOULD be disgusted with herself, because what she did WAS disgusting, even more so than Carter's cheating in my opinion. And the way she is now, she should be alone. Go ahead and call me an asshole for saying it, but the narration speaks for itself. She'd rather be a ticking rape bomb than lift a finger to work her way past her fears, to learn to control and trust herself.

Still, I'll be reading on. Fingers crossed that this is the worst of her that we'll see, because seriously, she's skirting dangerously close to the moral event horizon. At least, in my opinion.

I thought it was a great background story that could end up being a awesome erotica. Keep it coming. I can definitely identify with the character and thats unreal in todays world lol

Looking forward to more!

Thanks for all of your comments. Chapter 2 has been submitted, so hopefully it will be up in a couple days. I hope you all like it. My wish is that each chapter keeps you coming back to me!!! Thanks again for your votes and comments!!!

Always,

Ms. Angel Sand

In real life, maybe that depends on where and how you've lived. A woman who wants to save her virginity for her husband is not that rare in my experience. So that basic choice is totally legitimate and reasonable. But given that her reluctance is based on her perceived weakness, rather than a religious or moral restraint, I think she is wise to embrace who she is and cope with her issues as she thinks best. She understands she has issues with compulsion, and she is very prudent to make sure her future mate understands that she has such issues. A suitable mate will not focus on what he is missing, but will instead concern himself with why she has these issues, and what role can he play and helping her overcome her demons. She would be crazy to marry any man who lacks the patience, compassion and the strength to take this woman on on her own terms. The reality is, she can be herself and find a compatible mate, or she can fake it until she gets the ring and the ceremony, and then let her true nature loose, soon ending the relationship and the recent marriage.

You have started an interesting story about a complex woman. I hope it ends well for both of you. I will wait to rate the completed work. Thank you for your time and effort.

I feel like I have a pretty good sense of who the main character is. Would be interested in reading the next chapter; especially if it contained more Literotica.