Why I Hated The Guy From The FBI Ch. 06

Antonia did not move, nor did she display any emotion. She looked at him and said, "I do not believe you."

"What do you not believe, Antonia?"

"I do not believe you are aMexican hairless."

"That is easy enough to prove. Would you hold this ring for me, please?" He reached for the buckle of his slacks, unzipped his pants and he dropped to the floor. He reached for his shorts and pulled them down to the floor. He lifted his shirt so he and she had an unobstructed view of his groin, and all of the sudden he heard aloud cheer coming from the den of the villa. He looked at Antonia, who was laughing at him and rolling all over the bed. Frank never looked at the camera that was sitting on the night table, with its red light blinking right at him.

Antonia said, "Do you want me to say the next words for you Frank or do you want to say them?"

Frank yelled, "Antonia, I am going to kill you."

She laughed and said, "I am faster than you are with your pants around your ankles." She ran out of the room and into the den, where all of the people from the Friday night party were assembled. When Frank finally got there, applause exploded again. The six women who he had supposedly had sex with immediately accosted him and took him to the couch. A seventh woman was put on his lap and she said, "Frank, did you know Philip started teaching me how to shoot a gun."

Frank yelled, "Philip, please tell me she is lying."

"No Frank, she's a natural. She took to a .32 like a duck to water. She may not be able to kill you, but I would watch out for your groin and legs, if I were you."

"I thought we will going to be friends Philip. I may never get to sleep now."

"The gun that will not let you sleep is not the thirty-two dear, it's the eight by six between your legs that will keep you awake."

The six women by Antonia's side all laughed in collusion with her.

Frank said, "What a way to die."

"Antonia, you never answered my question. Will you marry me?"

"Someday, Frank, maybe. However, right now you are not ready to settle down."

Frank stood up, tossed Antonia over his shoulder and said, "Excuse us folks, I have to go spank some sense into the little woman. I will be back when she says yes. "

As they were walking towards the bedroom everyone heard Antonia singing, "Frank's going to spank me, Frank's going to spank me, Frank's going to spank me."

Philip yelled, "Don't turn off the camera."

Frank waved his left hand, signifying he heard the comment, as he turned into the bedroom. After he locked the door, he threw Antonia on the bed waved to the camera and turned it to a picture on the wall. He said, "I will leave the sound on."

A loud chorus of boos could be heard from the den.

Frank looked at Antonia and said, "Okay Princess, are we getting married?

"Someday, maybe. When I think you are really, truly worthy of me."

A roar of 'YES' went up in the den.

Frank yelled, "Quiet in there or I will turn off the sound."

"Boo, Boo, Boo," was his answer.

"You do not think you are out of the woods my dear, after what you put me through these past few days, do you my little devil?"

"Who me? What did I do? If you remember my only conversation with you contained 11 words, 'Don't you dare touch me. Don't you ever touch me again.' I was the injured party, while you were partying."

"My little evil princess, which one of us is lying now?"

"I quoted the exact words I said to you. If you, in your beleaguered state of mind, blew it all out of proportion, it is not my fault."

"If the gloves fit, you must convict and your handprints are all over the trap I fell into, Antonia. Philip and his remarks about shaving real close. I did not realize it, until you had me drop my pants. I will get you Philip."

Boo, Boo, Boo, came the roar from the den.

"I should have known an evil wind was coming my way once you let Philip off the hook for lying about his clothing stores."

"I have not let him off the hook. He is the one teaching me how to target shoot. Do you know how many accidents happen at target practice every year? Millions, I checked. Philip will be just one more. Oh heck he is listening isn't he?"

"No, he just fainted," came a yell from the den.

"Okay you little tease, are we getting married or not? Measure your words carefully, because I will have to take that ring off your finger if you do not say yes."

"Why, it looks so pretty there. Couldn't you just give it to me as a gift?

I like you a lot Antonia. However, for a gift that expensive, your entire body has to come with it, permanently; as in, 'I DO!' Because if you 'DO NOT; it goes back."

"That is a terrible way to think about what I mean to you Frank. Putting a price on my future happiness is so crass. Now if this was just a gift, I would love you so much more."

"If I have to take an axe to that arm to take the ring back to the store, I will Antonia. The setting is platinum and the stone is a diamond. The blood will wash off."

From the den, the men were cheering and the women were booing. After the back and forth of this argument seemed to be going nowhere they started cheering, "We want sex, we want sex, we want sex."

Frank picked her up, put her in his lap and said, "How about a Christmas wedding."

Antonia said, "This year or next?"

"This year you ninny, before any of our children are born."

"Okay!"

"Now we can have sex."

"Okay."

Frank walked over to the camera and pointed it at Antonia and himself. He said, "We interrupt this painting for this brief announcement. Miss Antonia Caruso and Mr. Frank Gennaro have determined that it is in their best interest to cease hostilities and marry in December of this year. All those listening to this announcement are hereby invited. The sound portion of this broadcast will now be terminated. You may listen by the door if you want to hear two sex addicts going at it for the next few days, non-stop. Have a good day and bona fortuna.

The End

Chapter 6