Why I Hated The Guy From The FBI Ch. 14

Rose pointed at a Porsche Boxster but Celeste immediately said "No. It has a terrible gearbox, and it is not practical, because you cannot take it to the mall. The next one Rose pointed at was a Rolls-Royce Phantom Drophead. Celeste agreed with her. "That is a practical car, and you can take it anywhere. It is yours. I will send it to you, when you have made a decision on where you want to live permanently." "Thank you, Celeste. It is a wonderful looking car and I will take very good care of it."

"I have to hire you first, so I can keep the insurance and the expenses on a corporate account. I will have my lawyers write up the papers, and have you paid the going rate for a language teacher. You will be required to teach my baby Italian. Can you do that for me, once or twice a year?"

"I believe I can fit that into my very busy schedule, but only if you let me babysit, so you and Philip can go out, or go away for a while."

Celeste smiled. "You drive a very hard bargain Rose, but I am sure I can convince my husband that you are trustworthy enough to leave his little "GIRL" with you."

Rose turned around, because she knew Philip must have entered the garage. There he was standing by the entryway, holding his hand to his heart, hoping it was still beating. She started laughing and said to Celeste, "Woman, if you want him to live, until your wedding day, you had better cut that out."

"But Rose, it is so much fun watching the blood drain from his face, when he hears that word."

Philip had recovered enough to say, "I am going to get you for that, Celeste. I am going to get you for that big time."

"Would you prefer that I mention how much I make per hour, Philip?"

"No; do not do that either. You may kill everyone here."

Phil Gennaro asked "How much do you make per hour?"

"No, you do not want to know Phil; really, you do not want to hear that number."

"Do you know how much she makes?"

"Yes, I do, and I nearly tossed my cookies, when I found out."

"How did you find out?"

"I asked her, and she would not tell me. So I bet her one hundred dollars that I could take the shock of hearing the number. All I had to do to win was stand still. I lost."

"You did not have the balls to stand still, because she said a number."

"I will bet you $100 that you cannot stand still either."

"You are on, Philip."

"Go ahead, Celeste tell him how much you make an hour."

"It will cost you $1000 for me to tell him."

"$1000, are you out of your mind?"

"I do not want to do it. If you force me to do it, I want it to be worth my while."

"You are caught between a rock and a hard place, Mister Castronova. It is going to be interesting to watch how you get out of this," Rose said.

"It is very simple Rose; I am going to buy her a smaller diamond ring."

"She needs another diamond ring, like Russia needs another nuclear bomb. Think of something more original, Philip."

"Thank you Rose that was the big one in my arsenal. What am I supposed to do now?"

Rose said, "Try to think outside the box, Philip."

Philip stood there for a moment and you could see the light bulb go on. He looked at Celeste and said, "I hope we have a baby "GIRL!"

Rose smiled, and Celeste had a shocked look on her face. She looked at Philip, and he still had color in his face. He had not grasped his heart, nor had he fallen down. He was looking at her, with pure love in his eyes. He was going to love and protect their baby, with all his heart and soul, forever, regardless, if it was a GIRL, or a BOY.

She decided to tease him, one more time. "What happens if it is twins?"

He surprised her when he replied, "The more the merrier!"

The five people in the garage laughed, because this time, Celeste turned white, with fear.

Phil Gennaro said, "I still want to know how much you make per hour, Celeste?"

"Okay Philip, all you have to do to win your bet is stand still. Ladies, gentlemen, if you will take your positions around him, just in case he decides to fall; I would prefer his head not hit the concrete surface, and bleed all over it. It takes too long to get the stain out."

Phil said, "Very funny, Celeste, just say it so I can collect my money, however if I find out you lied to me, I want $100 from you, also."

"Last year, my hourly wage was a little more than $237,000.00 per hour."

Phil Gennaro tried his best to stand still; but his knees buckled, his right ankle turned out, and he keeled over. Luckily, one of Celeste men caught him, prior to his head making contact with the floor, and lay him down gently.

What no one noticed, at least for the moment was Gloria had fallen, also? She was caught by another of Celeste's men.

Although Rose was taken aback by the huge number, she had assumed it would be an astronomical figure. She was ready, but it was a number even higher than she had imagined.

One of Celeste's men asked, "What should we do with them, Miss Celeste."

"Just place them side by side, and we will leave them here. When they wake up, I am sure they will find their way back to the house."

"Yes Miss."

Gloria woke up a few minutes later, and laughed when she saw her husband was sleeping next to her. She knew it was the combination of the shock and the jet lag that was keeping him asleep, but the concrete floor was both cold and damp. She would not let him continue to sleep on it. She nudged him once, then twice and he refused to wake up. The third time she was not as gentle.

He opened his eyes and said, "What happened?"

"You lost your bet."

"You mean I lost $100?"

"Yes, it looks like you will have to go back to work."

"No, I will just take it out of your allowance."

"You have never given me an allowance. I had to take my spending money out of the food money."

"Is that why food was so expensive in New York?"

"No, you just like good food. Good food is expensive."

"I think I will get up now, how about you? "

"Yes, I think they will be looking for us."

Philip took her hand and helped her to rise. As Gloria took her first steps, her stomach cramped, she leaned over and started to wretch. The vomiting started moments later.

Philip did not know what to do for her. He helped her slowly out of the garage and towards the main house. He saw one of the maintenance men and he cried out for help. The man used his radio and several people came running towards them. Soon afterwards, Frank came running out of the house followed by Antonia and Celeste.

Frank said, "Mom, what is wrong?"

"I don't know, Frank. I just started feeling bad and I started throwing up in the garage. I don't know if I'm just tired from the trip, or if I ate something on the airplane. I have not been myself lately. Maybe I have the flu; or if I am just run down from all the activity, with your father."

Celeste said, "Oh my God, not you too?"

Philip said, "What do you mean, 'Not You Too?'"

Celeste smiled. "$5 will get you $100 she's pregnant."

Frank looked at Celeste and said, "You are out of your mind. She is 48 years old; she cannot be pregnant."

Antonia and Celeste looked at each other and nodded their heads. "Okay Frank, we will bet you $1000 straight up, that she is pregnant."

It was unfortunate they were not looking at Philip, because the next thing they heard was a thud, as he fell onto the grass. Frank yelled, "Dad!"

Antonia said to Celeste, "I think he agrees with us."

Gloria looked at her husband, as he lay down on the floor, and said, "Frank give me your gun, I am going to kill that rotten son of a bitch, if I am pregnant. He could have done this to me 26 years ago and I would have been fine. Now you are going to have a sibling you could be the father of. That man has got to die, and I am going to do the honors."

"Mom, if you are not up to it, Antonia and I will raise the baby."

"That is very kind of you Frank. However, before I kill your father, I want to make sure I am pregnant. Can you get me one of those pregnancy tests from a drugstore, please?"

"You will have it this afternoon, mom."

"I need you to teach me how to fire your gun. I do not need to learn how to aim it, because I am going to stick it up his ass and fire it."

"Do you realize how much that is going to hurt him?"

"Do you realize how much it hurt to deliver you?"

"I will get you the pregnancy test, and keep my mouth shut."

"Good thinking, Frank, I knew I raised you correctly."

"No mom, it is not that you raised me correctly; it is I know when Antonia has made up her mind, I could give her 1000 logical reasons to change it, and I would be wasting air. I am getting that same vibe from you, so I am just going to stop arguing with you."

Gloria looked at Antonia, "I love you Antonia; I really do."

Antonia smiled and replied, "Mom, he was very easy to train, because you did all the groundwork."

As they were walking towards the main house, Celeste looked at Antonia and said, "That is four out of five women, who were in Italy for your wedding that are pregnant. The only one that remains is your mother. We have to ask her if she is pregnant."

Antonia remarked, "Oh goodie, if she is, that means someone gets to kill my father, and I get to watch."

Frank said, "Antonia, confession."

"God dammit Frank, leave me alone."

"That is two, Antonia."

"Alright, I'll make arrangements for a car."

Celeste took her by the shoulders and said, "I love the new you."

"Yes, Celeste, I am as interesting as watching grass grow."

"Yes, but you have the cutest little baby bump I have ever seen. How many pounds have you gained?"

"Nine."

Frank interjected. "She has only gained 9 pounds, but she eats like a horse."

Celeste laughed, "Maybe a tiny horse, or a pony."

"Are you starting that shit all over again?"

"Three!"

"Fuck you, Frank."

"Four!"

"I hate you, you prick."

"Five. What is the bishop's phone number?"

"I hate you, Frank. I really, really hate you."

"Six. Never mind, I found it. 011-39-02-666-9999 ext. 666. That is the number, right dear.

"Fuck you, Frank, and the dragon you rode in on."

"Seven. I am pushing the buttons on my cell phone."

"Don't you do that to me? He will send me back to a convent, just to piss me off."

"Eight!"

"If I go to hell and you meet me there, I am going to make eternity, seem like forever."

Smiling, Frank said, "I thought that is what eternity was, Antonia?"

"There you go thinking again, Frank."

Celeste took her by the shoulders, kissed her head, and said, "Antonia, there is still no one in the world like you."

They entered the house and Antonia yelled for her mother. Rose called out that she was in a large room with books, a pool table, and a fireplace.

Celeste said, "She is in my father's study; follow me."

"Hi mom; how are you feeling?"

"I am feeling just fine, why do you ask?"

"You are not nauseous, or dizzy, or feel like you are coming down with the flu?"

"No, as I said, I am feeling just fine."

"God dammit."

"That is nine, Antonia!"

"Stop it, Frank!"

"Do you want to try for 10? I am sure the bishop will be very interested to find out, how far you have fallen."

"Let me finish talking to my mother and I will go to confession with you, Frank."

"If you hit number 10, the bishop gets a phone call. I do not care if the baby is born in a convent."

Rose and Celeste could see the fire in Antonia's eyes and watched as her mouth began to open. They clamped their hands over her mouth; and restrained her with their arms, so she could not move. It took a few moments for her to calm down, but she did.

Her mother whispered into her ear, "You may not care where my grandchild is born, but I do. It will be born in a proper hospital, or at home. It will not be born surrounded by nuns, who have hurt you, because of your father, and me. Control yourself, or I will control you."

"Yes mom."

"Now, you wanted to ask me something?"

"Mom, are you pregnant?"

"I am too old to be pregnant."

"That is what Gloria thought, also."

"Gloria is pregnant?"

"We believe so. When we go into town, we are picking up a pregnancy test to verify it. However, we are positive that she is."

"How did that happen?"

Celeste laughed, "The usual way."

"How did she take the news? How did Philip take the news?"

"Gloria was stunned when we suggested it, but all the signs point to her being pregnant. When she realized we might be right, she looked at Philip and said that he was a dead man. Of course, he was already on the floor, unconscious. He took it like a man."

Rose laughed at the last part; and understood why Gloria wanted to kill her husband. She had Frank 27 years ago and now she was going to have another baby. She would have killed him, also.

Celeste explained to Rose that four had a five women who went to Antonia's wedding from the United States were now pregnant. She was the only one who had come away unscathed.

Rose repeated her first inference. "As I told you, I am too old to have a baby. I have not had a period in more than 4 years. My baby factory has shut down, and I am free to do as I wish."

"I guess you are correct, mom. No one gets to kill dad."

Frank yelled, "That was an almost Antonia."

Antonia turned and was about to say something to her husband. Hands again trapped her mouth, before the words could come out.

"Confession, my daughter, is good for the soul. I will come with you to make sure you do not reach the number 10."

"After I go to confession, mom, can I kill my husband?"

"Do you want to give me the bishop's number and I will ask him?"

"Mom, not you too?"

"Baby, I like the new you. I like how far you have come in such a short time. You have grown from a little girl into a beautiful young woman. I will not allow you to regress back into the bitch you were."

"That is one mom."

"You should only know how high the real number is, Antonia. According to your father, my mouth should be washed out with soap, because I have become a slut."

"That is wonderful, mom. I hope he is not complaining."

"He is definitely not complaining. He is enjoying every moment of it."

"Can I listen in on your confession?"

"I do not think so, Antonia. You have to be over 21 to hear what I have to say."

"Why does everyone raise the age limit on the things that I can do, say, and hear? I am not allowed to have any fun."

"It is for your own good, baby. I do not want to corrupt your young mind."

"Bulls..."

Rose and Celeste clamped their hands over her mouth before she could finish saying the word.

Frank yelled, "That was close baby; that was very close."

Celeste yelled, "Fuck you, Frank. Why don't you go out back with Charlie and check on the tents. I hope one falls on you."

"You should thank God you are not Catholic Celeste, because that would count as your first one.'"

"You are not even close, Frank; not by a mile."

"Why does everyone think I am the bad guy? I am just following the bishop's directive."

"If you were not smiling, while you were doing it, people might think you were doing it for Antonia's good. With that shit eating grin on your face, everyone knows that you are doing it for your own enjoyment."

"Okay, from now on I will try to do it with a frown on my face."

Celeste said "I will bet you $1 million you cannot do it, five times in a row, without smiling."

Rose added, "I will add another million dollars to that and say he will not make it three times without smiling."

"You two women know me too well. However, how will you know if I smiled or not."

"Ask Philip; he will tell you that nothing goes on around me, that Marlon does not know about. He used a phrase one time, in a private conversation with me, and Marlon knew it. I do not know how he found out about it, but he knew it. He told Philip if ever hit me, he would be minus both hands and both feet, and would crawl around for the rest of his life begging for my forgiveness. Marlon knows everything. If you smile, he will know it."

"There goes another good idea shot to hell."

"Madam, you wished to go into town."

"Marlon, I did not call you yet."

"Madam, how many times have you had to call me in the past?"

"Forget it Marlon, I am tired of arguing with you."

"Thank you, madam; I will consider it another reprieve. The car is waiting; and I know how you hate to waste fuel."

"Why don't you turn the car off, until we are ready to leave?"

"I have already done that, madam."

"Then explain to me, how we are wasting fuel."

"Would you like the complete answer, or will the short answer do?"

"The short answer will be fine, Marlon."

"Thank you, madam. When the engine has heated, it runs more efficiently and uses less gasoline. When you let the engine cool, it becomes less efficient. The engine is now cooling, because you are forcing me to give you this primary lesson. Therefore, you madam, are wasting fuel. Before you say it madam, I will say it for you, 'Marlon, you are fired.' Good day, madam; I will meet you at the car."

Antonia laughed, then looked at Celeste, and said, "What was that?"

"That was the most priceless man in this world. I wish he were my father. He says he is not, and I believe him. Nothing bad had better happened to him, because I will destroy anyone that harms him. I will be inconsolable, when he dies. He has raised me from the time I was a baby, and I do not know what I will do without him."

"Why doesn't he call you Celeste then?"

"He said he will call me by my given name when I am 60. I must have asked him a thousand times to call me Celeste, and I get the same answer. I have fired him, at least 15 times and the results are the same. 'Thank you, madam, I will meet you at the car or wherever.' He is a millionaire many times over; however, he will not leave my side, because he promised my mother he would protect me from harm. I love that man more than my own life. I would do anything for him; anything at all.

Frank said, "In that case, why don't we get going. He is standing by the limousine, holding the door open, waiting for you to get your ass into the car."

"I am going to kill that old man myself. I told him repeatedly to sit in the car, out of the sun. If he gets skin cancer, I will rip it off his body with my nails."

Antonia laughed at her friend. "It is so nice to see that you love Marlon so much, Celeste. I would hate to be your enemy."

"Shut up you diminutive turd."

Rose laughed, and said to Antonia, "I can see where your previous attitude went. I hope it does not transfer to her baby."

Celeste replied, "I hope it does, so my baby will kick the shit out of her baby."

Antonia reminded Celeste of one problem. "My husband is Frank, tall, very, very strong, and handsome. Your husband is Philip tall, not strong, but extremely handsome. If your baby hurts my baby; my Frank will kill your Philip and place his remains in a tomato soup can. Your husband will never be able to say the word divorce to you, and you will be able carry him around in your pocketbook, all the time."

"I hate you Antonia, I really, really hate you."

"Marlon is waiting, shall we go?"

"I am going to tell Frank that you committed number 10."

"Go ahead, Make My Day."

The tab on the first pregnancy test turned blue. The second pregnancy test showed the plus sign. Gloria screamed in agony. She washed her hands, left the restroom, and looked for her husband, who waited for her, with the others, on the rear patio.

When she saw him, she threw both sticks at him and yelled, "Take your last breath, because I am going to kill you."

Everyone started laughing, except Philip Gennaro. He started running for his life, but he was no match for a woman who went to the gym three times a week. She caught him on the lawn, tackled him like a linebacker, and started pummeling him on his back and head.