Why I Hated The Guy From The FBI Ch. 14

He cried out, "I didn't know you could get pregnant. After all these years, how could it possibly happen? Are you sure it is mine?"

That last line was nearly his last. She took off a shoe and began hitting him over the head with it. "Who else would it have been, you fucking idiot. We live in the middle of a vineyard. We are together every day, and now you accuse me of cheating on you. Stay here while I get Frank's gun. It will be more merciful than what I have in store for you."

As Gloria turned around she saw five other people laughing at both of them. She said, "What are you laughing at."

Philip Castronova was holding Celeste in his arms, said to her, "Gloria, the last time I checked, it took two people to make a baby."

"So you are telling me this is my fault?"

"No, it is both your responsibility."

"I am 48 years old I am not supposed to get pregnant."

"Mom," Frank said, "you are 48 years old, and you are pregnant. The question is: 1. Do you want to kill dad and raise the child as a single parent. 2. Do you want him to live and raise the baby in a two parent home? 3. Do you want Antonia and me to raise the baby, because you feel you are too old to do it yourself? 4. Do you want to abort the baby?

"Are you out of your fucking mind, Frank? I would never abort a baby, not even if my life depended on it."

Her husband grabbed her by her shoulders and said, "On that last one I would disagree with you vehemently. There is no way I would allow you to give up your life for a child."

"Our religion says..."

"When it comes to your life, our religion can take a hike."

Philip Castronova said to Celeste, "Do you see what I mean, babe; religion has its limits. All of us have to find our own comfort zones within them."

"Yes Philip, I believe I am beginning to understand. I cannot wait for you to meet Monsignor Chang. I know you are going to love him."

"What should I do, Philip?"

"I think the first thing 'We' should do is get you to a doctor, and make sure that you are okay, with this pregnancy. Then we have to make sure that the baby is okay. If everything is okay, with both of those, when we get back to Italy, we will have to decide what color to paint a room. One thing is for sure, this baby will have a lot of babies play with, while it is growing up."

Celeste laughed and said, "Maybe I should buy all the land within a few miles of Philip's home. We can build one large compound, and put a wall around the whole area. We can put tracking devices on the babies, and let them outside to play. When we need them, we will know where our children are, and we can go get them."

Antonia said, "Mom, if I thought she was joking, I would laugh. However, if you look at her face, you can see she is absolutely serious."

"Antonia, as long as Celeste puts another fence around the Olympic size pool, the whirlpool, and the spa, I think it is a brilliant idea."

"The only reason you think it is a brilliant idea, mom, is because you are not pregnant." "That is not so, Antonia, because I am going to treat all these babies, like they are my grandchildren."

Gloria applauded, "Antonia, I have never seen you lose so many arguments in one day. When you were your former self, you never lost one."

Antonia said, "Disgusting, isn't it!"

48. April 8th and beyond

Things were so organized for their wedding day; you would have believed that it was set up by a military organization. Charlie's friends had shown up early as requested. They had laid out a plan that was so detailed, that even a mouse could go through a maze and find the piece of cheese on the first try. No cars were allowed to park at the church, if they had less than four people in them. Cars would be left at the church, and buses would transport the guests to Celeste's home, and return them to their cars, on a regular schedule, throughout the day, and night.

They were not allowed to give gifts to Ann or Charlie. If people wished, they could make a donation to the church or their favorite charity, in their name. Children were allowed, and there was a separate, guarded, restricted area, set aside for them to play in.

The entire off-duty police roster, from the surrounding areas, was on the property to protect the partygoers, from 'unwanted guests.' They carried their riot gear, including their vests, and side arms." Nothing was being left to chance.

Charlie ordered a bright clear day for their wedding; then he prayed for it, religiously. Someone must have heard his prayers, because he received more than he asked for.

Monsignor Chang made the wedding ritual entertaining rather than rigid. He knew most of the people in attendance, because they were from the college. So when it came time for him to ask Ann to take Charlie for her wedded husband, he said to her, "Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?"

The audience went into hysterics.

"I am, Monsignor."

"Why him, I have seen you date people twice as handsome as he is?"

"Monsignor, please, not now, this is not the time or the place."

There was so much laughing going on in the church; Monsignor Chang almost started laughing, himself.

"Ann, you are one step away from committing to this person for the rest of your life. Why him?"

Ann desperately wanted to say that Charlie had the biggest dick she had ever encountered in her life. However, she knew she would never live that down amongst her friends. So, she came up with 'Plan B.'

"I want to marry Charlie, because he can cook."

Monsignor Chang could no longer keep a straight face. He and nearly 500 people in the church or laughing so hard, Ann began to cry.

Charlie whispered into her ear, "Darling, can you recognize a set up when you see one."

Ann stopped crying instantly. "Did you do this to me?"

"I had nothing to do with this, at all. However, I know when someone is yanking my chain. Everyone here loves you to death. Apparently, someone here loves you more than anyone can imagine and put the Monsignor up to no good. Let us finish getting married, and go have a party."

Instead of listening to Charlie, Ann turned around to the audience and said, "If I find out which of you put the Monsignor up to this, I will dig your grave personally, and put you into it alive."

Every person in the audience stood up and said, "Who, us?"

Even Ann had to laugh. "I have enough money to buy a cemetery, but it is going to take me a long time to dig all those graves, by myself. Consider yourselves lucky!"

Ann turned to the Monsignor and said, "Can I get married, now?"

"Do you Ann Theresa Michaels take Charles Umberto Gomes for your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, until death, do you part?"

"God, yes I do."

"Charlie, I feel bad for you. Ann, by the powers vested in me, by the Roman Catholic Church, and the State of California, I now pronounce you married. Charlie you may kiss your bride, and get her away from these rabble rousers."

A thunderous applause arouse from the guests at the church, as Charlie kissed Ann. As they turned and walked down the aisle hundreds of cameras went off, taking photos of the newlyweds. You can no longer throw rice at weddings, in California, so the guest threw streamers, glitter, and shredded paper at them. Clean up would take hours, but no one cared, and Charlie had covered the cost.

None of the guests had ever seen Celeste's palatial home, or the grounds that surrounded. The three tents were huge, nearly a football field long and slightly wider. The center tent contained the dais, the orchestra, and the dance floor. Catering trucks surrounded the tents, and hundreds of waiters delivered the meals piping hot to each guest.

Hank was Charlie's 'Best Man' and he delivered a rousing speech about Charlie, being turned from 'Gay to Straight,' because of Ann's prowess in bed.

Celeste was Ann's 'Maid of Honor' and she told the story of Charlie's first day in Ann's life. Ann said into the microphone, "Celeste could not say anything to embarrass her more than she did just then."

Antonia said, "Do you want a bet?"

Ann said, "The usual $100?"

"That is fine by me, unless you want to go higher?"

"You sound very sure of yourself Antonia, so I will stay with the $100."

"Go ahead, Celeste, give it to her."

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, Ann is expecting a baby, in September."

"I am going to kill you, you bitch! We have not told anyone, yet."

Innocently, Celeste said, "What are you talking about, Ann. You have it posted on your website at school."

Very few people at school knew Ann's password to her website. Her secretary was one of them. She took the microphone from Celeste hand, and said, "Angela, if you had anything to do with this, you are fired, then I am going to kill you, and feed you to your flowers."

The big screen televisions in each of the tents carried all these events to each of the revelers. The laughing and the threatening kept the evening alive, with fun, throughout the evening.

At 11 PM, Charlie asked everyone to proceed to the west side of the tents and told them that he was going to have all the lights dimmed for a few moments. Once everyone's eyes had adjusted to the darkness he said, "Ann, I did this only for you." He said into the microphone, "Look at the moon."

Everyone looked up and saw something they never noticed before and had never read about either.

Charlie said, "Ann that is a 'Moon Ring.' It will appear every time our day comes along. It symbolizes my love for you. It will be there each time we have an anniversary, and so will I."

Ann fell into his arms and cried. "Charlie, you could not make me any happier, if you tried."

"I am going to keep trying, Ann. We have a long way to go, and children to bring into this world."

"One child, only one, or you are dead man!"

"I have to repopulate the Gomes family line."

"Bring in a surrogate, Charlie; I am too old for the shit."

"Take a look around you, Ann. You look better and younger than half the people here; and some of them are your students."

"Once this baby comes out, I am going on the pill."

"Isn't that against your religion?"

"Our religion, Charlie; and right now I could not give a damn."

"Monsignor Chang, will you speak to this woman before she commits a sin."

"Charlie, I told you I felt sorry for you, at the wedding."

Celeste laughed and said to Philip, "I think religion had better start rewriting itself. People seem to be thinking, more and more, for themselves."

"I have been trying to explain that to you, for quite a while now, Celeste. Live a good and productive life; be good to the people around you; help those you can, and do not harm those you cannot help. No one can ask anything more from you."

"Philip, why did not you become a priest? You would have been so good at it."

"At the age of 12, I found out that girls with soft, and I liked them very much."

"Pedophile!"

"I was 12, give me a break."

"Which leg would you like me to break, Philip?"

"I do not care which leg it is, as long as it is not the third one."

"I would never harm that one, Philip; that one belongs to me, forever."

"For the rest of my life, Celeste; I will sign that in blood for you, if you would like."

"My portal is closed to everyone, but you Philip. I will sign that in your blood, also."

"Let's go to bed, someone needs a spanking, badly."

"Sir, I am pregnant, with your child. You may not abuse me. Marlon may find out about it, and he may unhand you."

"I think he will make an exception, in this case."

"Indeed Madam, he just may."

"God dammit Marlon; don't sneak up on me like that, again."

"Shall we recall how many times you have said that to me, Madam?"

"If you start with me now, I am going to fire the entire staff."

"As usual Madam, their bags already packed."

"You see Philip, now you know why I don't stay here a lot. The staff always takes advantage of me."

"Oh, you poor dear, I feel so sorry for you."

"Madam, it is time for you to go to bed. What you do there is none of my concern, however, the child inside you is. You have medication to take and sleep is required for a healthy child. You will go peacefully or you will go. It is your choice, as always."

"People in the Amazon have babies, all the time, Marlon. They do not take medication and they go to sleep and wake up, when they want to wake up."

Marlon raised his right hand and a few seconds later, an eight-person golf cart drove up and stopped beside him. A gorilla of a man stepped out; stood beside Marlon and smiled.

"Good evening Ms. Celeste, Marlon tells me you need a ride back to the house."

"Good evening Carl. I guess you are not leaving me any choice, are you."

"You know Marlon, madam. His word, on this estate, carries more power than yours."

Philip whispered into Celeste's ear, "You know you are not going to win this one; why argue?"

"You are very perceptive, Mister Philip. You are giving madam very good advice."

"How the hell did you hear that, Marlon?"

"I read lips."

Celeste said, "I give up, I am going to bed."

Carl took her by the arm and escorted her to the front of the golf cart. Once she sat down, he started to buckle her in. She said, "I do not need a seatbelt in a golf cart."

"Madam!"

"Oh Fuck, I will do it myself. I hate you Marlon, I really, really, really hate you."

"Thank you, Madam. I will see you at 9 AM, for breakfast."

Celeste was able to get Gloria and appointment with a gynecologist, who did the appropriate tests and informed her that she was five weeks pregnant. The tests on the baby would come back later, but all signs indicated that it was progressing normally. She was put on a mild anti-nausea drug along with her prenatal vitamins, and iron, because of her age, but the doctor told her not to worry because she was in fine working order.

She asked him, "Why did I get pregnant now, and not all the years in between?"

He said, "Is that mountain out there your son?"

"Yes, he is. Why do you ask?"

"Maybe, after your body pushed him out, it needed a long rest."

"He was not that big when he came out."

"God, I would certainly hope not."

When Gloria exited the office, she kissed her husband, and smacked Frank.

"What did I do?"

"The doctor said it is entirely your fault I could not get pregnant, until now. It took my insides all this time to heal from giving birth to you."

Frank said, "I am going to go in there and have a discussion with the doctor. I will see if I can change his mind."

Gloria laughed, "If you go back there, you will going to be raped by every nurse and technician. They have been drooling over you, since you walked in."

"Great; rape is not my fault. Antonia cannot blame me for being unfaithful. Whom should I start with?"

"That would be their choice not yours; however I think the 80-year-old bookkeeper would probably go first."

"Thank you for that visual, mom; I think we can go back to the estate now."

Before leaving California, Celeste decided to light a fire under Gulfstream aviation about Philip's new airplane. She called and asked to speak to Burke Tolliver, vice president of sales for the Southeast region. He put it on speakerphone and said, "Hello, Celeste, no the 650 is not ready yet."

She replied, "I know that you asshole. You have $10 million of my money sitting in a bank making interest, while you twiddle your thumbs. I want to know why my husband's 550, is not ready, yet."

"Shit, Celeste, I did not know you were married."

"July 1, you cock sucker. That is not the point; why isn't his airplane ready?"

"Let me check my computer, and I will tell you."

Tolliver said, "Celeste, you only place the order three and one half months ago. We are not miracle workers, we make quality airplanes.

"Fuck you, I'm going to the French, cancel my order. As far as the 650 is concerned, send me my money back. You will never get a dime of my money again."

"Come on Celeste, you don't mean that. All of your aircraft are Gulfstream's, because you know they are the best around."

"You watch me; I am going to sell them all at bargain basement prices. I am going to list them as defective. I am going to have my pilots list every nut and bolt that has gone wrong with them. You watch your sales drop, when my friends here about this."

Tolliver started to sweat, because he knew what losing her to the French, English, or German's would do to their business. Losing her friends, and businesses would mean an 18% drop in their bottom line. He would not allow that to happen, over one airplane.

"Celeste, if I could move up delivery by five weeks, would that be satisfactory."

"It has to include lessons to teach my husband how to fly."

"The asshole does not know how to fly?"

"I'm sorry Burke; I did not hear that last statement."

"We would be happy to teach him how to fly."

"That would be wonderful Burke. Bring the airplane to Milan, along with the instructor, and he can do the training there."

"Why don't you just ask us to move operations there?"

"What a wonderful idea. I think I will buy a controlling interest in the company and do just that."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Ask your chairman, I have told him, more than once, if he was not nice to me, I would do it, and fire him."

"Celeste, you are one-of-a-kind."

"If you tell me you have just figured that out Mister Tolliver, I am going to be very insulted."

Philip took her into his arms, and kissed her. "Baby, how does anyone stand up to you, when you are in that mood?"

"What mood, Philip? I just called him to find out when you're airplane was going to be ready. Then I decided to have some fun with him."

"Fun, I think the guy shit his pants."

"Philip, at this moment, Burke is on the phone calling the Chairman of the Board, to find out if what I said true." If there is a board of directors meeting, where my name is not mentioned, there is a sigh of relief. I am a pain in the ass to every company I do not own; because they know what trouble I could cause. "One time I said something to a vice president at General Motors; I don't even remember what the conversation was about, but I told him I was calling Omaha. The next day there stock dropped 11 points.

Warren called me, laughing, and asked me, "What did I do."

I told him, "Do not thank me Warren, just do what I am going to do. Buy as much General Motors stock as is available, and reap the profits. When the press comes to you and asks you if I called, you can honestly say that I did not. You can even offer to show your telephone logs to prove it."

I made $175 million, over the course of the next few days, and Berkshire Hathaway made even more."

Philip said, "It must be a bitch, being that rich."

Celeste replied, "I have learned to live with that burden."

Philip smacked her ass and said, "Oh you poor dear."

"Marlon, he smacked me."

"Yes Madam, I know. You deserved it, royally."

Philip shook his head in wonderment. "That man must have television cameras all over this place. He watches you like a hawk."

"Marlon, we will leave in the morning."

"The flight crews have already been informed, and the aircraft have already been serviced, Madam."

"I hate you Marlon I really, really hate you."

"Thank you Madam; take your medicine, and go to bed before I call Carl."

Celeste was about to say something, when Philip put his hand over her mouth. He said to her, "Why argue with the man, when you know you are going to lose."

After they closed the bedroom door, Celeste whispered to Philip, "After everyone is asleep, why don't we slip out the patio doors and go for a moonlight drive down to the beach."

"It sounds very romantic, babe. I will set my watch for 2 AM, and we will stay out until sunrise. How does that sound to you?"