All Comments on 'Winter Break Ch. 01'

I enjoyed this cant wait to read more

Keep on writing! I'd love to read more!

Beautifully written - but a little too close to home and brings back so many painful memories.

This story sounds promising, I've been waiting for more of your work and pleased with what I read so far. Thank for sharing it. Please don't stop writing.

Can't wait for more! Pleeeeease keep this going!

For the comments, everyone. Chapter 2 coming soon...like, tomorrow :)

A few tips: "They were all driving in for Thanksgiving. With their families." "With their families" is not a sentence. Try, "They were all driving in with their families for Thanksgiving." Same thing with, "... Danny. Who was still single." ".... "Who was still single" is not a sentence. Should be "... Danny, who was still single." You have many incomplete sentences, commas that should be periods, etc.

".. his mother brought Danny to the house and told he and his sisters.." Poor grammar. Should be "HIM and his sisters.'

You tell a story well and it could be even better and more polished with some editing. Hope this helps!