Winter Warmth

'Oh,' I said. 'I haven't told you my name all this time. I'm Meless.'

'Kanji.' she said softly.

'Strong name. I like it.'

'Well, get to it.' she said, waving a hand at the drawing board.

I shook the image from my mind for now. 'Of course.' I said and started sketching.

*

Kanji filled me with energy and inspiration and I had made nice progress when my stomach reminded me it had gotten used to food again. I put the drawing board away and stood up, legs and hips stiff from sitting for so long. 'I'm getting hungry. Let's eat.'

She nodded and crawled to the drawing while I walked to the back to get the meat. She had taken the board to look at the drawing and touched it carefully. Her ears stood at full attention and a slow wag from her tail told me she liked it. I wanted to say something but thought better of it. She'd just play it down and I wanted to cherish this private moment. I prepared the meat, this time cutting it in small pieces and using different herbs, skewered it on several straight sticks and took it to the fireplace, sticking them into a piece of wood with holes to roast them near the fire.

'You're not going to ask?' she asked.

'Ask?'

'What I think of the drawing. You saw me look at it.'

I smiled. 'I could see what you thought of it.' I said. 'And I was happy.'

She looked away, fiddling with her fingers. 'I've never seen myself.'

'Not even in the reflection of water?'

'I have seen that. But that's not like this..'

'True.' I said. 'It wouldn't really reveal your beauty.'

Her ears went down a little and her tail pulled closer. 'Don't say that.'

'Sorry. I guess I was a bit too forward. But I won't deny what I've said.' I said, taking the drawing board and looking at her portrait.

I worked further on it while turning the skewers on occasion. When the meat was done I put everything away. She liked the idea of what I had made to have some variation with meals. I told her I could have made something more than meat if I hadn't used up all my reserves earlier. Building the cabin took so much time I neglected to stash more vegetables and fruits.

'Why are you living on your own here?' she asked. 'I thought all humans lived in towns and cities.'

I leaned against the side of the fireplace, throwing the last skewer into the fire. 'Most do. I, didn't feel like staying near people.'

'Did they hurt you?' she asked, pulling her tail closer and plucking on it.

'Not in the physical sense.' I said softly. 'They just kept reminding me of the time I spent with my first love.' She stayed silent and my chest tightened. 'We were crazy in love and planned on living together after I had build our own home. One beautiful summer day we went for a walk in the forest to collect her favourite berries. Then we encountered a bear.' I said, swallowing down a lump in my throat.

'If you don't want to tell..'

I shook my head. 'Might as well tell the whole thing.' I said, swallowing once more. 'We backed off, but moved closer to her newborn without noticing it. It charged towards us and I drew my knife. I stabbed it many times, hoping to chase it away without killing it but it threw me aside against a tree. I heard Gowenn scream. It ran away with her cub and I limped to my love, but she was already gone, her beautiful black hair stained with blood.'

I wiped my eyes, my face hurting from the memories of that day. 'The people in town didn't say they blamed me, but I could see it in their eyes. And I kept remembering moments together whenever I spoke to others, so I needed to get away, find a quiet place to live out my life. I packed my tools and went here to build a new home for myself.'

'Sorry..' she whispered, looking down.

'It's okay, I am at peace here.' I said, then chuckled. 'Unless I'm getting into a fight over food with a Kanis.'

She chuckled and smiled. I liked her smile, as strange as it sounded, and it made me feel comfortable.

She looked down again, plucking further on her tail. 'I suppose I can tell you why I'm here.'

'Only if you want to.' I said.

She smiled a little. 'I guess I'm here for a selfish reason.' she said. 'I didn't want to be bound to the male my mother had chosen for me.'

'Oh?'

'He was strong, which is why my mother wanted him to breed me and provide a strong family. But he didn't care about anything but himself. He saw others, and especially us females, as lower rank to serve him. The thought of being with him disgusted me and I got into a big fight with my mother. She just wouldn't give up on him, so I packed my things and ran away. I had just set up my shelter for the night when the storm hit. It was cold and I didn't have much food with me, so when I finally could get out after the storm and shot my next meal I wasn't in the best of moods when I found a human claiming my catch.' she said with half a smile.

'Heh, I'm glad you weren't feeling worse then.' I said and grinned deviously. 'And I still say it was my catch.'

She snickered and pounced me, growling at me. I laughed, trying to defend myself and wrestled her to the ground, but she was too quick, turning and pinning me on my back on the ground. We breathed hard and grinned at one another.

'You humans are just too weak.'

'I just can't fight against women.' I said, sticking out my tongue.

'I'm not like human women.' she said, baring her fangs in a grin.

'But you're still a woman.' I said, smiling gently.

She looked at me and I thought her golden eyes could see straight into my soul.

A gust of wind hit the cabin and broke our gaze. I checked the fire. 'I need to add another log.' I said. 'And maybe we should go to sleep.'

She nodded and stood up to take the blankets. I placed another log on the fire, watching her put the blankets down in two stacks. I turned off the lamp, undressed to my pants and saw her looking at me.

'Something wrong?'

She shook her head. 'I guess for a human male you don't look bad.'

'Thanks.' I said and crawled between the blankets. 'Sleep well.' I whispered.

'You too.' she whispered.

I was just about to fall asleep when I felt her lift up the blanket and move her back against mine. 'That's just to stay warm during the night and the cold morning.' she said. 'We always do that.'

'I see.' I said and smiled. 'Thanks.' The extra comfort made me fall asleep at once.

***

The next day we still had to spend indoors. We talked a little about growing up and I continued on Kanji's portrait. She looked really good and I caught her smiling gently several times, lifting my spirits. I did feel I'd miss her when she'd left and I secretly hoped the storm would last just a little longer.

We started cooking together, I showed her the drawings I had kept for myself, showed her further around the cabin and told her the fairy tale stories I remembered. She had warmed up to me and I could feel that warmth at night when she crawled against my back under the blanket.

The storm had lessened one morning and we took a peek outside. Snow was still coming down, but it was less and the wind had calmed down.

'The worst is over.' I said, clearing most of the snow around the door. 'It might be over at the end of the day already.'

She nodded and looked up at the sky. 'I can get back to my own shelter..'

A sinking feeling in my chest dampened the happiness I felt. '..yeah..' I said.

'Let's go hunting together when it has gone down. I owe you a good catch for letting me stay.' she said, smiling at me and wagging her tail slowly.

'Deal.' I said, looking forward to see her hunt.

*

It was around noon that we left the cabin with our bows. The sky was still filled with clouds, but no snow came down and the wind had died down to a breeze. We expected the wildlife to take advantage of the lull to move around. It took a while but we found a couple of deer. The breeze came from the right direction so we only needed to move closer slowly and quietly.

I gestured for Kanji to shoot the left one while I'd take the right one. She nodded and we aimed our bows. 'Shoot on three.' I whispered, receiving another nod. 'One, two, three.'

Our arrows hit the deer at the same time and they bellowed before falling down, hers twitching its legs for a short while.

'Nice.' I said. 'And this time we won't have to argue about who killed what.'

She gave me a light smack against my shoulder and grinned.

'This should last a while.' I said, examining the bodies.

'Yes.' she said, looking around.

'Something wrong?' I asked, looking at her.

She shook her head. 'I just think I recognise this bit. My shelter isn't far from here. We must have been going in the right direction.'

The inevitable moment had come. 'Shall I help you take this thing back?' I asked.

She looked back at me for a moment. 'You don't have to..'

I shrugged. 'Might as well make sure you get to your shelter safe and sound.'

She grinned. 'It would save me from hauling that heavy thing.'

'See?' I said and tied a rope around the deer's hind legs.

We dragged the deer across a low hill toward a collection of big rocks.

'I set up my shelter against that, away from the wind.'

When we arrived there she grumbled. The shelter had still been hit by the wind and lay broken against the stone. The hides she used for cover had torn apart and lay scattered around.

'That's not going to keep you warm.' I said, collecting the pieces while she dug through the snow blown into the part that still stood upright.

'I'll have to start all over again.' she sighed, taking her small collection of tools from the snow. 'I might as well go home and become a mate for that, that..'

'No!' I said.

She looked surprised at me.

'I can't let that happen.' I said, taking her hands in mine. 'Stay with me.'

'With you?'

'Yes. You don't need to go back and live an unhappy life there. You can stay with me, I have room enough for two. If we can spend several days together, we can surely survive until spring comes.'

There was something in her eyes that lit up and she smiled. 'You won't mind a Kanis staying for so long?'

'If you don't mind having to share it with a human.'

She hugged me tightly. 'Thank you. You really are a good human.'

I hugged her back, the sensation of her in my arms warming me up inside. She let go of me and gathered her things. I collected all useful skins and draped them over the deer to take back to my cabin. We dragged the deer back to where we shot it, collected the other and dragged them with some effort to the cabin where we hung them and drained their blood.

Inside I stamped my feet to warm them up and made room in the cold storage room. Kanji stoked the fire and prepared a meal in the meantime. We ate before we gutted and cleaned the deer and took them inside. When we were done I filled two buckets of water and added hot water from a kettle on the oven to wash ourselves.

'You've got blood all over your face.' she said and wiped it with a wet cloth.

'So do you.' I said after she was done with me and I cleaned her cheeks and muzzle. 'Hairless does make it easier to wash a face.' I said with a smirk.

'If you like the cold..' she grinned.

'Better be careful I don't steal your fur coat.' I said, giving her a wipe on her nose.

'And what would you do with it then?' she asked, putting a claw under my chin.

'I'd hold it and stroke it all day long.' I said, taking her hand and stroking it softly. 'Loving your softness.'

She smiled. 'Stealing my fur just to stroke it, you're weird.'

'Well, I would prefer to do it without having to steal it first.' I said, looking up.

She chuckled and gave me a light push against my chest. 'I'm no pet.'

'Shucks.' I said and grinned.

'Finish your bath, your naked skin makes me feel cold.' she said, taking off her chest wrappings and loincloth and washed them in the water.

The two small bumps on her chest made my heart skip a beat. It was not like nipples showed or they were bare skin. Just two curves covered in the same fur. But they had the same effect on me that I experienced some time ago. She wrung out her clothing and walked to the fireplace. I was already drawn to the movement of her buttocks and tail, then even more as she bend over to drape the clothing over two logs she had put in front of the fire. She turned around, kneeling down to sit on the blankets when she saw my stare.

'What?'

It took a moment for her question to register. 'Sorry, what?' I asked.

'You were looking at me. Did I miss a spot?' she said, checking her fur.

'Ah, no.' I said, looking at my bucket and wiping my chest with the cool wet cloth. 'It was nothing.' I was glad the water cooled me down. "She wasn't embarrassed to undress because she doesn't see me as a man. A Kanis man that is." I thought.

After I was done I washed my clothing and hung them at the back to dry before crawling between the blankets, thoroughly enjoying the anticipation of warming up my body after all that time in the cold outside.

She saw the wide smile on my face and chuckled. 'What are you so happy about?'

I looked up at the dark ceiling. 'I just got back from the cold outside where the wind has picked up again, there's enough food for a while, the fire's burning and I'm warming up under my blanket. It's a happy moment for me.'

She lifted my blanket, laid down next to me and looked up smiling. 'I think I understand.'

'Your warmth makes it even better.' I said, nudging my shoulder against hers.

Her smile faded a little and she stayed silent for a moment, making the wind outside the only sounds. 'If you hadn't come with me I wouldn't have known what to do.' she said softly. 'I'd be too proud to ask you for help and might have gone home or tried to fix my shelter and be stuck in that place, trying to hide from the wind.'

I moved my hand and found hers next to mine, took it and gave her a light squeeze. 'I would have walked with you to your shelter anyway. If only to feel better knowing you had a good place to stay.'

'You really are a weird human, caring for an enemy.'

'I never thought of you as an enemy. I have no reason to hate because history tells me. In fact, I like having you around.'

She gave me a gentle smile, then rolled on her side to me. 'Turn.' she said, pushing against my shoulder.

I rolled on my right as well, unsure of what she wanted from me until she crawled against my back, her left arm on mine and her muzzle in the back of my neck. 'Thank you for letting me stay again..' she whispered.

I gave her hand on my shoulder a pat, then closed my eyes.

***

The weather varied form windy with snow to quiet and we took every opportunity to go out and get some fresh air. We even shot another boar to add to our supplies. I collected a bucket full of pine cones to give a nice scent to the fire. A couple of birds broke the silence of the forest on our walk to the stream. I talked about a plan to clear an area next to the cabin and grow vegetables, so I wouldn't have to trade for them in town. It would also save me a lot of travel time. She told me their kind never use vegetables, unless there was nothing else to eat or if one was sick and needed to. She pointed out to me the direction where her clan lived, about a day's walk from here.

On our way back to the cabin before the weather would turn bad she slipped on something in the snow and fell with her muzzle in it.

'Are you all right?' I asked.

She looked up at me with her muzzle covered in snow. 'I'm fine.' she said and blew some of the snow of her muzzle with a huff.

The look of her face was cute and funny and I couldn't hold my laugh.

'Hey!' she said. 'Not funny.'

'Sorry.' I said snickering. 'It's just too cute.'

I looked away and the next moment I got a lump of snow thrown in my face.

'Who looks funny now?' she said, a wide grin on her face.

'You do.' I said, bend with my hands deep in the snow, and tossed a cloud at her.

'You want to fight?' she said laughing and made a quick snowball to throw at me.

It hit me on the side just as I made a snowball of my own and threw it back at her. We threw snow any way we could at each other, laughing like crazy. Eventually we fell down on our backsides and panted. I've never felt this warm outside in winter before. And it felt good to laugh this much again, especially because it was with her. I loved to see her laugh.

A roar and breaking of small branches close to her startled us, the next moment she yelped as the bear attacked her, biting and swiping its claws at her.

I felt my heart stop, grabbed my bow next to me on the ground and fired arrow after arrow at the huge beast, shouting for it to come at me. Everything but the bear had faded from sight. I wanted it dead, destroyed.

It roared at me in pain, charged at me for several steps, then sank through its legs after receiving two arrows in its head from me. I shot it twice more to make sure it stayed dead, then dropped the bow and tried to breath again. It took several tries to get air back in my lungs.

I heard whining behind the body and rushed to Kanji, blood all around her in the snow.

'Kanji!' I said, not sure where to look with all the wounds on her body.

She opened her eyes, her breath erratic. 'This is bad.' she groaned.

'I have to get you back inside.' I said, holding back my panic as best as I could. 'Can you take it if I carry you?'

She nodded quickly. 'Better than freezing out here.'

I lifted her carefully while she groaned and bit on the pain. I managed to pick her up in my arms and walked as quickly back to the cabin as possible without making her suffer more. Inside I put her down in front of the fire, grabbed a bucket of water and rags and cleaned her. The wounds were bad and I used two tunics to make bandages for her arms and body. I only had a few remedies available and put the kettle next to the fire to warm up water. Looking through the pots with dried herbs I took the ones I used to relieve pain and the ones supposed to help in times of sickness.

When the water was warm enough I helped her drink the mixture I had made. She had trouble swallowing but she drank it all.

'I'm sorry I don't have anything better.' I said, stroking her head slowly.

She gave me a forced smile. 'You're not like the shaman who knows medicine, but you tried your best. Thank you..' She closed her eyes. 'Let me sleep next to you and I should feel better in the morning.'

'Then sleep tight.' I whispered and held her hands in mine until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

***

Her hands were cold, and she shivered when I woke up. I stoked up the fire, prepared a new mug with herbs and checked on her wounds. I didn't like the dark purple colour around them.

'I'm cold..' she whispered.

'Here.' I said, laying an extra blanket on top of her. The water was warm and I poured it into the mug, stirred it and helped her drink again.

'I feel so tired..' she whispered and closed her eyes.

The sound of her fading voice wrenched my heart. I had to save her, didn't want to lose her like Gowenn. The loss of another loved one would kill me. I watched her sleeping face, realising I did love her. She had grown on me in such a short time, and I wanted to be next to her for the time to come. The mention of a shaman in her clan came back to me and I knew what I had to do.

I quickly cut some meat and heated the oven to roast it, donned the last tunic left over on the one I wore, added an extra log to the fire and packed some of the roasted meat, the rest I put next to Kanji.

'I'm going to get help.' I whispered and gave her a soft stroke on her head.

'Where are you going?' she asked.

'To your clan. I'll get the shaman to come here.'

Her eyes opened wide. 'You can't. They'll kill you when they see you.'

I gave her a smile. 'I won't let them. They'll have to come and save you.'