All Comments on 'Without You I Have Nothing Ch. 12'

anything positive I said about this story before, I take it back. This story is absolute garbage. In the previous chapters at least the writing was ok even if the plot was "baffling." Now the writing in this chapter is just as bad as the babbling, blundering idiot Peter. The ease in which susie craeles him aainst her breast and gets in bed NAKED w/him numerous times after her almost rape is sooooo absurd and unbelievable I can't believe you deigned to write it. and then his bogus excuse of being "worked up and angry" to reason away his behavior, altjough he never gave a true apology. And why do you call hhis mother's rapist iin malaysia a "lover." from your description it definitely didn't sound like a two-way relationship. I'm staring to notice that maybe you equate rape w/love and desire.

finally, male/females can NEVER be identical twins. they'd have to be fraternal.

Peter and Jennifer deserve each other. They are a pair of idiots and fools. I feel sorry for any offspring they might have. They need pre-marital counseling desparately.

Boyd

Author experiencing the start of senility perhaps?

Reminds me of my aunt, she also talks in circles without making any sense. Sorry author, spend your time reading other authors works before submitting a directionless story like this

This is why people in old age homes should not smoke pot and write stories at the same time, it scrambles the few working brain cells and leads to rambling and confused plots. Try reading some of the Wanderer's works or L A Wicker to get an idea of how to craft a plot and storyline

We have four strongly negative comments on the board

with nothing to the contrary, yet the average grade is

above 4.5. Which means that if the four gave it a grade

of 1 then there are 20 5's compensating. Just they do not

feel the need to comment.

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I have been complaining the whole time about Jenifer not

having any of the properties I would expect in a high-class

lawyer, but it is the first story that I read each morning.

Peter has made some large mistakes. The incomprehensible is how a Master of Martial Arts could possibly respond so emotionally to everything?

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Susie finally brought the explanation to the surface by pointing out that he felt that his mother betrayed both him

and his father for sex. That is a tough way start living a life. I find it amazing that he trusts anyone, ever.

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Jennifer is more and more coming over as non-empathetic, that is she can never put herself in someone else's head and

feel anything different from what she is feeling. She may be great at writing contracts or finding holes in contracts, but don't ever put her as trial lawyer (barrister). Maybe Peter does not need to fire her. Don't they have solicitors and barristers in Australia as in England?

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Perhaps the correct category here would be "Novels and Novellas" so that the people who want a one-two punch will stop reading it!

I followed this from the start and each chapter seemed to get a litle flakier with less and less interest in the people portrayed. I hung in until now to see what direction this is taking but I think I have had enough. A supposed martial arts master who can not controll his emotions ?

A plaque from the Gurkas naming him a hon. major ? Do your research at least before putting pen to paper. Everything in your tale is just to confusing to be credible with the main characters belonging in Days of our lives perhaps from where you got your inspiration

the low score from me has nothing to do with the length s I read lots of stories that are 10, 20, even 30 chpts log on literotica that weren't categorized as novels. However, their stories continued to build in plot, unlike this story that is getting more convoluted and the characters more dis-likeable (is that a word?). also, the attempted rape, the unbelieveable response to susie, the dumbness of both jennifer and peter, etc. etc make this stor harder and harder to stick with. like jackstraw commented last chpt - you really want to like this story, you do, but so many parts are just wrong.

as for the percentage, maybe its the author or another voter voting multiple times.. who knows?

I have to agree with quite a bit of the comments on here. I want to like this story, and I do and still will, read every chapter, but it gets so frustrating at times with how you are writing it plot wise. I have to stop and come back to it. It did start off wonderfully, but I don't think you had a full idea of where this was going to go when you started writing it and now you're floundering.

When is this Merry-go-round going to stop? Nobody trusts anybody. Hero just kills 3 men for her and she gets upset over other woman? I think she needs agood kick in her rear end and he should have his head examend for letting her drag him arounf by his nose. When will it end. Or is ther an end.

I knew Chapter 13 was there somewhere. Found it wrongly posted in reviews and essays. Delete and re-submit is the only way to get the complete boxed set together. Chapter 13 is here.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=336528