Wolf's Girl Ch. 02

No, there was no one here who needed him around. His sister had her own life with her husband and her two younger kids. And after the argument he'd had with her yesterday, he was pretty sure she didn't care to see him any time soon. Maybe he'd send her a postcard.

At least he'd say good-bye to Carson before he left. It would leave too many questions if he didn't.

But the real reason he needed to go over there was that he owed Mack a big apology.

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Giles put off going to Carson's house until late that afternoon, when he knew everyone would be home. As soon as he got out of his truck, he could hear his friend's voice coming from behind the house. Carson sounded furious. Giles frowned in confusion. The Innes family never had arguments. Not the yelling kind, anyway. Giles went in by the garage door by force of habit.

"Unbelievable!" Carson threw his hands up and paced. His nostrils flared and his face reddened. Giles had only seen his friend like this a couple of times: once when both parties in a dispute over a fence refused every one of his proposed solutions, and another time when some teenagers hit his parked car, causing a couple thousand dollars in damage.

Andrea and Mack stood nearby, watching Carson pace. Andrea held her own hands tightly enough to turn her knuckles white. Mack's shoulders drooped but she kept her face neutral. She focused mostly on the ground.

Andrea, unlike her husband, spoke in softer tones. "Carson, please. If you'll just –" She spotted Giles as he entered and her shoulders drooped with sudden relief. "Oh thank god. Maybe you can calm him down."

Mack's eyes widened as she glanced up. Her whole body tensed up. She took half a step in Giles' direction, darted a glance at her father, then stopped.

Giles gave Mack a sidelong look as he approached. He'd have to talk to her privately later. In the meantime, he hoped she could read embarrassment in his expression. He focused his attention on Carson and Andrea, glancing between them. "What's goin' on?"

Andrea opened her mouth to explain, but Carson interrupted her. "What's goin' on? My family has no respect for me and I have zero authority in my own house. That's what's going on."

"Of course we respect you!" Andrea countered. "You're not listening to –"

In the background, Mack opened her mouth to say something, but was ignored by all parties.

Carson shot back at his wife, "Really? Because I don't feel respected right now. I feel like what I want doesn't count for anything. Meanwhile, I'm the one who is expected to support everyone else's irresponsible decisions." He shot an angry look at Mack.

Giles laid a heavy hand on his friend's shoulder. "Hey. Carson. Start from the beginning. What happened?"

Carson, unwilling to be calmed right now, rolled his shoulder and paced away from Giles. He turned to face him. "Mackenzie is pregnant."

The air in Giles' lungs suddenly stopped altogether, the same as though he'd just taken a punch to the gut that winded him. His heart pounded, quick and shallow, in his chest. His face went pale. He looked to Mack.

Mack met his gaze too. Her expression pleaded with him, but Giles couldn't tell what she might be asking. He wanted to go to her, to hug her and tell her... well, he didn't know what to tell her. He just wanted to hold her right now. He could hear Carson continuing to rant, but he didn't even try to focus on the words.

Andrea gasped and put a hand over her mouth. She saw. She comprehended the look shared between Giles and Mack and suddenly, everything made sense to her.

Carson paced and continued to argue his case. "And now Mackenzie won't name the father and Andrea is supporting her in this. I just can't believe –"

Giles dropped his gaze a little, addressing Carson without looking at him directly. "Carson."

" – I'm being treated like this after – "

"Carson!"

" – everything I do for this family. I don't ask for much. I just want – "

"CARSON!" Giles looked at his distraught friend. He worked his jaw, a nervous tic.

Carson stopped moving. He stared at Giles in utter confusion. "What?"

Andrea continued to watch in shocked silence.

Giles opened his mouth to say something, closed it, and tried again. He just needed a moment to put the words together in the right order. He had to say just the right thing. The longer he took, the faster and more irregularly his heart seemed to race.

Carson watched him and began to take note of his friend's nervousness. A dawning realization spread over his features. Carson's face slowly transformed from righteous anger to cold disgust. He repeatedly shook his head. "No. No... you..." Carson worked up his fingers and balled up his fists. He paced away, then turned back again. Then he pulled his arm back and swung wide, as hard and as fast as he could, aiming for Giles' jaw.

Mack instinctively put her hands out. "Stop!" She gasped as the punch connected.

Andrea clapped her hands over her mouth to stop a scream and froze. Her husband had just punched a man who could turn into a werewolf. It didn't matter that it was Giles. It was still a wildly dangerous thing to do.

Giles saw the hit coming long before Carson's arm ever pulled back. He put his palms up in a futile effort to ask his friend to back down. It didn't work. Giles didn't exactly stand still for the punch, but he didn't make a big effort to dodge it either. It would have been simple enough for him to step out of the way. Instead, Giles let the hit land solidly on his jaw, snapping his head a little to one side. His friend didn't really know how to throw a punch, but there was fury behind it. Giles turned his head back and rubbed the spot. Yeah. He deserved that.

Carson spoke in a whisper that was dangerously calm. "Get the hell out of my house. And don't come back."

Giles glanced over at Mack. He gave her a long look, full of anguish. So that's why she'd come by his place last night. And instead of giving her comfort and reassurances, he'd turned into a big, bad wolf and frightened the hell out of her. A punch was the least he deserved. His pained look offered Mack a wordless apology. He then dropped his gaze to the ground, turned away, and left.

Mack watched him in disbelief. He wasn't really going to leave, was he? Not with what he knew now? She took a few running steps after him. "Giles!" As he disappeared out the front door, she just watched with her mouth open. Watching him go felt like a knife twisting in her chest.

She turned back to her parents and stared at them. The moment her mom stepped in to wrap her in a hug, Mack burst into tears.

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Andrea knocked on her daughter's bedroom door and opened it. She carried a steaming mug in one hand. "I brought tea."

Mack sat on the bed with her feet on the floor. She wasn't sure she wanted anything right now, but she gladly accepted the tea. She wrapped both hands around the mug and breathed in the scent of chamomile. Her mother's presence in the room was as warm and comforting as the cup in her hands. It seemed like they had been at odds her whole life. Now she was a champion in her corner.

Her mom sat down next to her. It was just the two of them in the house right now. Carson had gotten into his car and driven off without a word about where he was going.

"So. Giles." Andrea nodded. "I don't know why I didn't see it."

Mack had no answer to that. She looked down at the tea.

Her mother looked at her. "You love him." There was no question in her words, just a simple statement.

"I did." Mack's cheek twitched. Giles' sudden and wordless departure still felt like an open wound. "I don't even know any more. How can you love someone who walks out on you when he finds out you're pregnant?"

Andrea put a hand on her daughter's back. She shook her head. "Everyone's emotions are high right now. He won't stay away."

Mack studied her mother's face. She sounded so certain.

"I don't think you've given up on him either," Andrea added. "You've adored him forever. Don't think I never noticed your crush on him when you were younger."

"Pretty obvious, huh?"

"Well, to me." She nudged Mack with her elbow and winked. "Not that I blame you. He's a very good-looking man."

Mack laughed, in spite of her current mood. "Mom! You're married! And you're talking about the father of my child. You're not supposed to notice that kind of stuff."

Andrea smirked. "What? I know who's handsome and who isn't. Besides, I was engaged to him once."

Mack sputtered and nearly choked on her tea. "What?"

Andrea grinned at her daughter's reaction. "Nothing happened. It was just an arrangement. My family sent me up here for Giles, not your father. I think at that time, Giles was trying to fit in, do what was expected of him. I could tell he didn't really want to get married." She squinted, trying to remember details. "I don't even think he ever kissed me. Your father sure did, though. It was love at first sight."

Mack blinked. "Dad kissed you while you were still engaged to another man? To his best friend?"

Andrea pursed her mouth and smiled coyly. "There was... chemistry between us, something that never existed between me and Giles."

"So what happened?" Mack was fully engrossed in the story now, her own troubles forgotten for the moment.

"From what I understand," Andrea explained, "your father told Giles about his feelings for me two nights before the wedding. Things were... tense. You have to understand – these two men have always been best friends and now some woman was coming between them. But Giles... he knew what to do. He showed up the morning of the wedding while I was still getting ready. He confronted me about the kiss, asked how I felt about Carson. I should have been too scared to admit anything, but Giles has this way of making you trust him. So I told him the truth. I told him I had kissed Carson and there had been a few... moments of tension, but I didn't know how your father felt about me. So, Giles arranged for me to eavesdrop while he pestered your father with very specific questions. Your poor father sounded so heartbroken." She pouted, recalling the memory with amusement.

Mack pouted too. "Aww."

Andrea shook her head and laughed. "Mind you, during all of this, I'm in my wedding dress, hiding behind the bushes, and I was turning into the happiest emotional wreck while I listened to your father pour his heart out, thinking we'd never be together."

Mack grinned, eyebrows raised, and waited for the next part. Andrea continued, "So once your father spilled everything, Giles asked me to come out. He asked if I'd heard enough. I'll never forget the look on your father's face. Absolute shock. Then Giles removed the flower on his suit, pinned it on your father's lapel, and said, 'Looks like we're still having a wedding today.'"

Mack laughed. "Wait, that's how you married Dad? That same day?"

Andrea laughed too. "Mm-hmm. Ten minutes later. Giles had to remind your father he might want to actually propose to me before we went in for the ceremony. So right there, outside the church, he got down on one knee. Giles became our best man. He's been part of the family ever since."

"Oh my god." Mack shook her head in disbelief, still laughing. "Why have I never heard this story?"

Andrea shrugged one shoulder. "I think we were waiting until you were old enough. Then it just never came up. It was a long time ago." She paused, then said, "The reason I mention it now is because... I want you to know that that's the kind of man Giles is. He wants the best for everyone. He'll be back."

Mack's mouth twitched. Trying to sort out her feelings for Giles was becoming complicated. She loved him, but there was guilt too. She hated the idea of forcing him into something he didn't truly want. "I hope you're right."

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Her father took longer to accept what had happened. He'd returned later that night, with no word of where he'd gone. Mack was in bed with the lights off, unable to sleep, when she heard his car pull up.

The next day, after tamping down her morning sickness, Mack sat curled up on the sofa with a notebook and pen in hand. She heard her father rattling around in the kitchen. She knew it was him because whoever was in there hadn't said a word.

After a while, he approached her in the living room and pulled up the ottoman to sit facing her.

"Hey." He leaned forward, with his elbows on his legs, and kept his voice soft.

"Hey, Dad. I'm sorry –"

"I'm sorry." They said the words at the same time. Carson shook his head. "Don't be sorry. This is all my fault. I let him into our home. I should have protected you."

Mack tilted her head, then realized what her father was inferring. "Oh. Oh, god no. Dad, it's not like that." She felt her face turning warmer and glanced upward. "I'm the one who started it."

Carson took a moment to process what she was saying. The guilt never left his face. "When did it start?"

She really did not want to discuss details with him, but Mack also understood her father needed reassurance. "A couple of months ago," she confessed. "I went out to his cabin. Dad, I promise you, I was the one who wanted this. I thought I could fix things."

"What do you mean?" Carson straightened up, listening.

Mack waved her pen. "After Connor died and everything went wrong, I had to do something. I thought becoming Giles' mate was the perfect solution. Instead, I just made things worse. I should have been honest from the start. But I don't regret a thing. I really don't."

Carson shook his head. "No, he should stopped this before it started. If he'd been the responsible adult –"

"Dad! I am also an adult." Mack sat up straighter and met her father's gaze directly.

Her father put up a hand. "I'm sorry. I know you're legally an adult. I didn't mean to imply you were immature. I just meant that Giles is a 43 year old man. He should have known better."

Mack calmly stood up and tucked her notebook under her arm. She felt like yelling but she knew her father was still trying to come to terms with everything. She couldn't imagine how he must be feeling right now. "I'm sorry I screwed up. I know it's difficult for you to think of me as anything but your little girl and I still have a lot to learn. I just keep making mistakes. I've done that my whole life and I'll probably keep screwing up until I'm an old lady. But right now, I can't focus on how sorry I am. I have to keep moving forward. I have a child of my own to worry about." She looked at the floor, then back at her father. Quietly, she added, "I think I'm going to go upstairs and finish working on this."

"What is it?"

She looked at the notebook. "Lists of things I need to do, for the pregnancy, and before the baby comes. Make doctor appointments, find furniture, clothes... "

Carson nodded. His mouth remained turned down and tightly pressed together. He got up and held out his arms, offering a hug. Mack leaned in and squeezed him, grateful and relieved. "You'll be okay. We'll take care of you. You two will have everything you need." He kissed her forehead.

Mack stepped back and smiled. "Thanks, Dad. That means a lot to me." As she left, she passed her mother standing in the doorway to the kitchen. She gave her a self-conscious smile. Her mother patted her.

Carson looked to his wife. He didn't have any words. The look they shared was enough. Worry, regret, happiness.

Andrea looked over her shoulder at the stairway and wandered over to her husband. She softly folded her arms. "I believe her, by the way."

"You do?"

"You know our daughter. You know Giles. Do you really think this whole thing was his idea?" She asked this with one knowing eyebrow raised, unable to stop the corner of her mouth curling up into a resigned smirk.

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Giles sat at the foot of his bed, slumped forward, with his head in his hands. He felt a cramp growing in one foot, but he didn't move it. After a while, he lifted his hand to his face and used thumb and forefinger to wipe away the tears that threatened to fall. He sniffed once.

Slowly, he rose from his spot and pulled off his clothes. Once free of the last of it, Giles stepped out onto the porch. His bare feet touched the layer of snow that had fallen in the last few days. Snowflakes landed on his hair and lashes and bare shoulders.

He had no friends. He and his sister didn't even get along. Mackenzie... she, and the child, would be better off without him. Giles embraced a hard truth, one he'd avoided his entire life: he couldn't cut it as a human. He was a brute, a beast. A wolf. So why not go where he belonged? Life made more sense in the animal world.

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October passed, then part of November. Mack never tried to go to Giles' cabin. Pride and pain kept her away. She found the idea of forcing him to pay attention to her repulsive. Eventually, pain hardened into boldness. She would raise this child on her own and she would not look back.

Today, she bundled herself up and sat out back, idly watching for the occasional caribou or moose. She sometimes she felt the sensation of being watched in return, as though the woods themselves yearned to understand her.

Mack heard a car approaching the front of the house, a knock at the door, then voices. Curious, she went inside.

Connor's mother, Laura, stood in the kitchen along with Mack's parents. She folded her hands together and squeezed tightly. "I just don't know what to do."

Mack hesitantly entered the kitchen. Laura spotted her immediately. Her expression showed a surprising amount of sympathy and concern. The corners of Laura's mouth twitched briefly in a worried smile.

"When's the last time you saw him?" Andrea put an arm around Laura's shoulders.

Laura shook her head. "The beginning of October. We'd had an argument. I think it was before... um, before he knew about Mack's pregnancy." She dropped her gaze and sighed. "I went out to the cabin to ask if he still wanted to come to our house for the holidays. It was empty. The door was open and there's snow all over the floor. His truck is covered too. I think something has happened to him." She asked softly, looking at Andrea, "You don't think he'd hurt himself, do you?"

Carson spoke up. "I tried to see him a couple of times in October." This comment got a look of surprise from Mack. "He wasn't there. I gave up after the second visit. I figured if he couldn't be bothered to – " He shot a brief glance at his daughter. "Well, I don't want him around here anyway."

Mackenzie lifted her chin and looked off to one side. She would not go back to crying over the way Giles just took off. Even if he didn't want to come by the house, he could have called her.

Laura looked around the room from face to face. "He might have been missing this whole time?" She held her stomach. "Oh god. This is my fault." Andrea hugged her.

Carson sighed. "You're not responsible for this. I'll handle it." He gave Laura's upper arm a squeeze, then turned to Andrea. "Hon, I've got to make a call."

Laura nodded, distraught, as she watched him go upstairs. She smiled a little at Andrea, then turned to Mack. "Would you, um... would you walk with me to my car?" Her eyes looked pleadingly at the younger woman.

Mack frowned nervously, but nodded and followed her. "Sure."

Once outside, Laura stopped at the car door and looked down at her shoes. "I owe you an apology. I'm so sorry for the things I said."

Mack shook her head. "It's okay. You were really upset. You had every right to be. I still feel responsible for what happened to Connor."

Laura sighed and looked into Mack's eyes. Her own begged for forgiveness. "You didn't do anything wrong. Giles told me everything about you and Connor. I know it was no great love affair but you two did care about each other. I know how... close you were." Her mouth turned down in pain at the reality of her son's death. She shook her head. "I didn't know. I didn't know about the attack, about how he defended you, about how long you sat with him..."