All Comments on 'Wraith Ch. 01'

I like the looks of this, the story's pace is fun and engaging, the main character has promise, and the premise (the drug using the host) looks intriguing. My advice for the moment; find an editor and read the comments for feedback.

Best of luck.

That was a good start...until you made the apparent love interest blonde and blue-eyed. It delves too much into stereotype for her even though we don't know her yet. It. Sets up the premise for a stereotype. Well, at least she wasn't a quirky brunette new girl. But good start. (I hope you change your love interest's description)

Looks like it's going to be a crossover of "The Wraith" (1986) and "Max Payne".

Very interesting start i cant want to see where you go with this. As for the suggestion that your love interest is to stereotypical screw that if you find blonde hair and blue eyes attractive and that is what you want your love interest to look like then do that. Every freaking character "look" is stereotypical there are only so many normal hair colors and eye colors. Technically you could go baby vomit green hair and some dull brown eyes and break the trend but i'm just thinking that's not very hot.

Because one anon says they hope you cater to their issues. Some people are blonde with blue eyes. It is fine if you make her interesting and beyond a doll. Sheesh, some twit.

Hey everyone, thanks for the comments.

I understand peoples queries about the main characters loves interest, yes she is a stereotype just from the description of her but that's where it ends. I decided what she looked like merely on a whim. I had other ideas, but in the end she's currently just an idea, I could change her but then others might not like the changes, sadly I cannot cater to everyone. What I will tell you is that I want to develop her into a strong supporting character that people will enjoy reading about. I can write about all sorts of different looking characters but what makes a character enjoyable to read about are ones with characters with complex thoughts, emotions and actions. She won't be some fuck doll, although there will be sex, maybe even the occasional fuck doll but I want to write a more plot based story for this particular one.

On the editor note, I received an email from someone interested in my work, I'll be emailing them back soon, I'd like to send a second chapter to see if they're still interested.