All Comments on 'Your Soul is Mine Ch. 01'

I tend not to read a story when the title is started by a huge grammatical error. i.e. You're is a contraction of "You are"..... the possessive form is Your and shows one or more items linked to a person.

Get a good proof reader or learn grammar.

Didn't read it. 1* just for the title.

It's a good start .

That can't be his height surely?? He's absolutely tiny!

Also... "Your".

Most stories don't have protagonists of that height. Maybe emphasize it in future parts of the story.

good start.... just.. don't turn him into a power mad asshole

... but a mistake in the title? YOU'RE punctuation is dreadful ;( !

Three stars.

Is Steve telling the story, or is someone else? I was a llittle confused by ""I got a necklace pendant thing." Steve pulls it out of his pocket and dangles it in front of her."

Be sure to keep the correct frame of reference in the future please.

You had a fair story, but the grammar error in the title was really a killer. As others remarked, it should have been "Your Soul is Mine." Such error truly kills the ardor of many readers, perhaps unfairly for your reader scores.

Get a proof-reader and keep writing!

I like the premise and the narrator. This has some promise. Don't stop writing; maybe consider one of the editors here to help smooth out the POV changes and stuff.

Wow... I'm just... I can't believe I made such a stupid mistake.

Thanks for pointing it out. A revised title has been submitted.

What about chapter 2?