All Comments on 'Zach Ch. 03: His Powers claim Mom'

Can't wait for the the shower scene, impregnating and beyond! Keep it up!

I liked this story so far and his adding his mother to his harem felt slightly rushed. Granted his emotional connection to his mother was different from his sister but your second chapter felt more "full" so to speak. I was also wondering if you could try and use more differing phrases and sentences. Reading all three chapters in a row I was beginning so see similar sentences and paragraphs indicative of some copy and paste. Great story and I can't wait to read about the threesome in the shower.

1st let me say that the premise of the story is great so please take this as constructive criticism or simple notes. I think your doing well but sometimes it's like your copying and pasting certain situations and subscriptions of his power and the way it makes the ladies feel. Even when you subscribe the ladies expressions while there being fucked. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck". Zach has this incredible power, try to use a little more imagination when describing how he uses it. He's a premed student so he's obviously smart. He should be able to be a little more creative and the ladies could be a little more flexible with their expressions. Also, sometimes you forget what you already wrote and end up contradicting yourself, like when you did Zach walked into his mom's room naked then later on did that she had to unbutton his pj bottoms and let his "monster out". I know you don't write for the readers but since we obviously enjoy your stories i have to tell you, a small mistake like that, in such a short story, can cause the reader to disassociate with the characters. These are just suggestions or notes if you will. Please keep up the good work. Hope I didn't offend you

I liked this story till sex scene with Mom. Not that I'm opposed to it just that it is just that the sex scene with Mom was identical to the one with sister down to her words and moans. Was unable to finish story because it was like I was rereading ch 2

If milk is being produced women are already pregnant

Your first story was good. But after that, they were all the same.

Great! Zach did a really wonderful job getting his mom prepared, and then breeding her. Having both his Sis and his mom bred now leaves Zach open to pursue broader horizons. Thanx for the Read.